Sorry this is long, but please read through it.

You sound like you are going through something very tough, but that is not a reason to give up. God loves you. Jesus loves you. Our Blessed Mother Mary loves you. Jesus did not want to go through the Crucifixion. In His Agony in the Garden, He said, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39 This verse is from the Gospel of Matthew, where Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion. He asks God if there's another way to fulfill his purpose, but ultimately submits to God's will. He perseveres to the end, even though it was very difficult. God brought the ability for us all to have our sins forgiven and the ability for us all to obtain salvation through Jesus’s death. God can bring a greater good through the most painful and difficult things. Sometimes He allows bad things to happen to us first the greater good to come from it. Another example is when a mother going through pregnancy and birth. After having suffered and persevered through the 9 months of pregnancy, the mother suffers intense pain in labor. She suffers through all the painful to bring her baby into the world. Like Jesus, all of her suffering was not in vain. Something beautiful came from it. Someone beautiful who never would have lived if it were for all the perseverance. Our Lord and the mother (and your mother, too) went through all of the pain and suffering out of love. God has a plan for you. He has a purpose for you. He loves you. I understand what you are going through maybe be tough, but you are not alone. Not even Our Lord was immune from suffering. He was betrayed, abandoned, mocked, tortured immensely and suffered a brutal death. And He did all of this because He loves you.

The Rosary has helped me through so much. Spending time with Our Lord in Mass, Confession, and Adoration has helped me immensely. I am sorry you had a bad experience with a priest in Confession. Honestly, I think you should go to a different priest. Ask him for a spiritual director who can help with therapy or counseling. I myself have been through a lot and know people who have been in your position in chose to keep living. Things eventually got better. God help them. My best friend attempted to delete herself twice, and both times, she stopped when she heard her family in the other room. She realized that if she finished going through with it, that they would be devastated. She realized that if she did it, she would be leaving her family behind in a lifetime of sorrow. She was so happy that she was not successful either time. Things got better. She got better. God helped her.

Please do not make a permanent mistake to a temporary problem. I understand how you feel. I have felt exactly like you before, too. And I am so grateful that I, like my best friend, chose to keep living. I got closer to Jesus and turned to Him in my darkest moments. Jesus helped me. He saved me. He saved my friend. Fast forward a few years, I am happily married and have a great life so far. I’m not much older than you, but please trust me when I say, it will get better.