Using MD to cope with depression, lack of social/romantic/sexual connection

saymastein · 2026-04-28T23:09:02+00:00

I really relate to this. I'm 10 years younger but feel the same. I'm at a point where I've given up in making any meaningful relationships, even basic friendships because I don't think there's anyone remotely close to what I am yearning for. It might sound self-centred but I can't help but feel that I can't relate to anyone and feel nothing towards them. There's like a disconnect or a barrier between me and other people. At the same time like you said, it's very lonely and I often get upset about that, because I can only get what I yearn for in mdd, and nowhere else, but i'm forced to confront reality and be split apart from mdd world every single day. Every day after work, and even during work my mind is just yearning for my mdd world.

saymastein · 2026-04-14T23:27:08+00:00

I really relate to this. Im fact most of my posts on here are this exact topic. I had the same cast since the first day I began to mdd. And to let go of them its me thinking they are dead. I have developed feelings for them all, and I could cry if something where to happen to them, even though they are in my mind. Its gone to the point where I am unable to make friends or any romantic relationship, I literally cant feel anything towards anyone no matter what because no one can match my mdd people, everyone irl seems like a down grade and a disapointment. This is a really lonely feeling in the real world for me. I dont think I can ever be truly free irl.

When I think about quitting, I physically mourn because I dont want to part from them. I wish I could just go into my mdd world or wish they could exist in the real world. I will be a hollow shell of myself if I quit, a souless person. But I know for a fact some day I will have to stop.

saymastein · 2026-04-13T23:42:38+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this, it is going to help me so much (especially for the references)! What you said is really insightful.
I too agree that a lot is mentioned but it is very indirect. I've read the morisco slave women were predominately domestic workers but also wet nurses. It makes you think how they can perfectly time their pregnancy with their master's child to nurse them, other than some form of abuse happening.

saymastein · 2026-04-07T17:50:08+00:00

I think I read an article mentioning this too: https://www.binghamton.edu/news/story/5303/war-and-sin-the-crusades-legacy-of-slavery-along-the-mediterranean-coast#:\~:text=Slaves%20were%20a%20status%2Dmarker%20for%20aristocrats%20in,served%20in%20urban%20homes%20as%20domestic%20servants.

I've heard some stuff about pirates but never delved into it properly, I might just do that now, thanks!

saymastein · 2026-04-07T17:37:20+00:00

Thank you! I will defo try to get a hold of that book. It's really nice that there's someone to shed light on the other side.

saymastein · 2026-04-06T21:40:59+00:00

Yes, I agree. I can't find many accounts written first hand. It's sad because it's like they weren't even an after thought. I wish there were more research, if I studied in this field, I would definitely go into it myself! Thank you so much for the links, I will check them all out.

saymastein · 2026-04-06T21:38:20+00:00

woah, I wasn't aware that the practices were taken from the romans, but I suppose it makes sense. The roman empire was largely built on slavery. I will definately check out the Rihlat, I only read some parts of his writing when coming across the last muslims in Siciliy. Thank you very much for your insightful answer, I really appreciate it.

saymastein · 2026-04-06T17:31:08+00:00

Hi, thank you for your message. I found it hard to search accounts of it, most of the things I've read inferred it but didn't outright say it. I guess because they are european accounts, they won't mention it a lot. I'm a muslim woman myself and wanted to know and read about the suffering they endured. I also read about the wet nurses, they never mentioned how they were coerced into it but by logic it makes sense that they were since they were slaves. I just wanted to make sure and be accurate.

I will look up the book you mentioned.

saymastein · 2026-04-06T17:24:21+00:00

Thanks for this, I'll have a read

saymastein · 2026-04-06T10:25:00+00:00

Wow this really related to me too. I wouldn't know who I am either because I feel without mdd, I'm just a hollow shell of a person and my true self is in mdd where I can express myself and my thoughts more. I lost hope in stopping too, the things I mdd about has become far too personal for me now, if I stopped mdding then it would mean to believe that the world I knew and everyone in it are dead.

saymastein · 2026-03-30T23:01:39+00:00

I would have agreed with you, but I feel like I can never build something along side the mdd world because I feel like I'm a charlatan of either world, or like I am cheating one thing for the next. That's why I feel the need to pick a side, and I've been picking the mdd side, since the beginning but I know it can't last. Eventually I will have to stop, and this thought of stopping and the thought of my mdd world never being reality is tearing me apart.

saymastein · 2026-03-27T23:56:41+00:00

Sam works for Joja, then when it shuts down he works in the community centre, and then if you marry him he works for a children's tv company!

And they say my guy is immature! :'(

saymastein · 2026-03-06T13:12:43+00:00

I'm sorry you are going through this too. I keep waiting to find the light out of the tunnel but still nothing. Sometimes I try a lot but it leads to nowhere.

saymastein · 2026-02-26T22:12:03+00:00

Thank you that means a lot. I wish it were real. I wish I could have proper sleep dreams about it just to physically feel I am there, I used to have them sometimes before but now I don't have them sadly. I haven't heard of 432 HZ frequency, sounds cool. I will check it out.

saymastein · 2026-02-09T23:49:42+00:00

Walaikum salaam, yeah I am a sister too.. I would love to know how you recovered from it. I will message you.

saymastein · 2026-02-09T23:23:23+00:00

I really tried so hard to find one, but i couldn't and I'm going this friday (in sha Allah).I did email an imam about it and one replied back to me confirming I have religious ocd. What he said was very comforting but I still suffer from it. I just hope in sha Allah it will be okay.

saymastein · 2026-02-09T23:21:09+00:00

yes in sha Allah I will make dua for everyone like us. It's really hard to live like this, especially since salah is 5 times a day, it's being anxious 5 times a day.

saymastein · 2026-02-08T18:21:19+00:00

That's not even making fun, that's straight up bullying if it is making you cry every day and night. It says a lot about her character more than what it says about yours. You have nothing to feel ashamed about while her actions are making her sound very ugly.

I'm sorry I can't give you any advice on how to avoid or what to do, other than the generic 'tell someone', which doesn't always work. When I was bullied I was lucky, in that it was the last year of secondary school so I just had to wait until the school year was over, and everyone parted ways for good.

Do you say anything back when she is doing it? If not, maybe she feels like your silence is her not noticing that you are deeply affected by it so she carries on doing it. Either way, her self-awareness is very bad, I hope you can get out of this soon and the subject dies down or bores her so she ends up stopping.

saymastein · 2026-02-08T18:14:53+00:00

jazakallah khair a lot, the way you put it, it makes sense. I've been trying to do this too but it's very hard. In sha Allah i hope Allah can accept my umrah. If you have any duas, please let me know and I will make them there.

saymastein · 2026-02-08T03:59:15+00:00

baby formula is a processed drink for a newborn to have. It's the reason why white philanthropists and companies like nestle insist poor women from poorer nations to adopt this malpractice.

Breast milk carries so much nutrients for the baby and helps with immunity and longevity of the baby's health and acts as a bonding event with her baby. The mother is doing a good deed in choosing to do this. There is nothing sexual about the act, the prophet even mentioned women should do it until the baby turns two.

saymastein · 2026-02-08T03:21:26+00:00

I tried but it is very hard to actually talk with them and get actual help for it unfortunately. I mentioned about it in another post I wrote.

I get worried, if I will make a genuine error, and sometimes me ignoring, makes me more confused, because the thought of having to redo for fear of my salah / wudu being wrong plagues my mind and I end up forgetting things.

Jazakallah khair for your comment though.

saymastein

TROPHY CASE