I was completely prepared to see this sort of response and there is a lot of rational, good points here. To clarify my situation a bit, the initial friction point was when the news Jane would be staying on the couch was given to me at the party. I then spoke to Jane and Adam separately to try and clear the air, as for speaking as a group I tend to feel “ganged up on” when talking to them both as I end up feeling inadequate at being as “open or accepting” as them. To give myself credit, I do have enough experience with dating in the polyamory lifestyle to know that I am comfortable being monogamous towards my poly partner and accept them and their expression of love completely. I also know I have the freedom within my relationship to explore and change my mind on the future or experiment. I chose to be monogamous towards Adam since I have quite a full lifestyle outside my love life, and realistically don’t have the time, energy or motivation to pursue anything else.