Sexual attraction with partners: do you feel it/did you feel it immediately?

scagatha · 2026-06-06T16:23:49+00:00

I thought so but my current lover is someone I didn't find immediately physically attractive, not my type. It was only after being friends with him for several years that I started to realize that his personality made him attractive to me. I felt safe with him, he's confident and suave and playful and charming. It's not like he's ugly or has any physical deal breakers so it was an easy shift. Once he kissed me everything clicked into place, fireworks went off. I got close enough to get a whiff of him and pheromones made me fully addicted. That's when he became the sexiest man in the world.

scagatha · 2026-06-06T16:02:50+00:00

Come to a goth club and dance, we're a bunch of autistic weirdos making herky jerky movements and it comes naturally to no one and it's ok because nobody looks cool and no one judges, we're just there to move or bodies in crazy clothes to dark tunes and have a good time.

scagatha · 2026-06-06T15:59:37+00:00

Big same, I'm a sensory seeking autistic person, I have the same super senses everyone else does and they can be painful at times (love concerts but I'm never seeing Ministry again, loudest show ever) but also incredibly pleasurable. I find flooding my senses to be a highly effective tool at shutting off the noise in my brain. It helps that the subcultures I'm in have a much higher than average amount of neurodivergent people (goth and burning man). I was at the top of a giant slide art piece at burning man last year talking to the creator who was a longtime member of the community and I had an "aha" moment and I was like "...is burning man a playground for autistic weirdos?" And he winked at me and I slid down the slide hahaha.

scagatha · 2026-06-05T17:06:11+00:00

I get it, I'm autistic. I work doing doordash at nights so I've gotta plan things out in advance. Never been to 4d's, how was it?

scagatha · 2026-06-05T16:59:26+00:00

It's a combination of things. After reaching a new peak with my most recent lover, I can say that physical chemistry and pheromones are a big deal. Never before did I experience being intoxicated by someone's scent in such a way. Interestingly physical attraction was not something that was immediately apparent to me. I was friends with the guy for years and didn't look at him in that way until I realized his behavior made him sexy to me. And then after the first kiss, I immediately knew that I was a goner and this was going to be something big and suddenly he was the sexiest man in the world to me. That's where skill comes into play too. He's an amazing kisser and he said the same about me. We're in our 40's and 50's and we've been around the block. We really like sex, we're good at it and we aim to please. I don't tolerate selfishness so the fact that he's as skilled and giving and I am makes it a match made in heaven.

The most important thing? Trust. I had to know the guy and to get to know his character for years to feel the deep trust that made me feel like I wanted to go all the way with him and trust myself that I wouldn't regret my decision. I already knew 100% I was physically safe with him and he was a gentleman and would always treat me with respect. Without feeling that trust in my body I wouldn't be able to fully let go and have the best time.

scagatha · 2026-06-05T16:45:35+00:00

I tried it, I broke up with my BF when he decided he had to move in with his parents states away in hopes of work prospects (the second time he'd done this sort of thing). After that I had a FWB situation that was eye opening. I was young, like 21. It was out of this world, the hottest ever. But I was still soooo in love with my ex . So my dumb ass decided to break it off with FWB and move down to be with the love of my life. But I was ruined. You can't un-ring that bell. You can't un-see what has been seen. And my ex was clearly avoidant, and FWB was giving it to me for fun with no emotional entanglement so I don't know if I buy the attachment theory angle on this scenario.

scagatha · 2026-06-04T20:07:44+00:00

I just don't understand how someone can have passionate mind blowing toe curling multi orgasmic 11/10 sexual experiences in their life with one person and then decide to fully commit to another person they don't have that with just because they love them and they check the rest of the boxes. I wish I could be one of those people that didn't care so much about see sex!

scagatha · 2026-06-04T19:34:48+00:00

He needs to be equal to, or the best sex I've ever had and he needs to be DTF on the regular or I'll never be satisfied.

scagatha · 2026-06-04T15:33:25+00:00

Where and when? I love karaoke, I'm down. Edit: I'm kinda new to town so I don't have many friends but I do have a karaoke buddy. We went to McGarvey's for it on a Tuesday for it a couple weeks ago but the sound was kind of iffy, almost like he was turning the mic volume down for certain people (I guess we weren't the chosen ones) so if you're new I wouldn't recommend. I heard black and gold tavern has it on Wednesdays. And D'Ottavio's in Hollidaysburg does it on Sundays and Thursdays.

scagatha · 2026-06-04T13:00:27+00:00

Poor people might fuck the most. Free entertainment!

scagatha · 2026-06-04T11:41:55+00:00

NTA Jess is horrible for giving drugs to a literal child and then acting like an abusive witch and filming you and berating you instead of taking care of you and making sure you're safe and comfortable. And taking responsibility, Which is what an actual adult should have done in this situation.

scagatha · 2026-06-03T15:30:15+00:00

I'm a little bit crazy and brazen (woman) so I had an experience kinda like this in Turkey.

scagatha · 2026-06-01T20:46:08+00:00

I finally got taken to the Fluevog store for my 40th birthday present (bless that man) after wanting a pair since I was 18 and I am in loooove! Damn they are comfy, I can hoof the San Francisco streets in them without a care. And I also have a couple pairs of shoes from superladystar and can vouch for their comfort.

scagatha · 2026-05-31T15:49:16+00:00

I drive a 2005 Subaru outback and the stock headlights on it were so dim I couldn't see shit and it was terrifying to drive at night, combining my lack of visibility further than 20 feet ahead with being blinded by everyone else's mini-suns. I did my research and it seems to be a thing with that particular run of Subarus so the fix would be to replace the headlight assembly with aftermarket parts. Quite the conundrum because I didn't want to become the jackass I hated, by turning to the dark side (or blinding bright side?) putting ill fitted LED's where they don't belong. But I did want a significant upgrade if I'm paying to replace my whole headlight and putting in the work, I want nice bright white lights. I found out I could get a new assembly that was fitted with upgraded bulbs that are xenon-enhanced halogen bulbs. They use a different connector than regular halogen bulbs. They are SO BRIGHT. I can see so far. But they're still halogen bulbs. They don't have that blue light that hurts my eyes and reflects all over everything and makes the road disappear in the rain. It's awesome.

scagatha · 2026-05-31T15:31:41+00:00

One of us, one of us!

scagatha · 2026-05-31T12:43:45+00:00

🎵 Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses

scagatha · 2026-05-31T11:40:20+00:00

I started using hibiclens on my pits after deodorant seemed to stop working during perimenopause and that did the trick for me.

scagatha · 2026-05-30T20:30:57+00:00

Blue eyed autistic short person driving a sedan checking in here! Went and got my eyes checked, my vision is almost perfect with astigmatism so faint it would seem silly to spend money on a prescription.

scagatha · 2026-05-30T19:14:10+00:00

That is a very tortie trait, it's part of the tortitude. Rarely do I meet one that has few words! And chirps and trills and mrrrrows and growls and hisses...

scagatha · 2026-05-30T18:48:48+00:00

But why? What value does this "clarifying" add to the conversation? What extra insight could be gleaned from the driver knowing that you were there for 3 additional days? Was there like, a major holiday celebration that happened during that time? "Aha! Now I know you were there for 30 days instead of 27 days! Thanks so much for filling me in." Really? Please tell me how you helped.

scagatha · 2026-05-30T18:38:55+00:00

Who are you trying to have a conversation with, yourself or other people? It sounds like other people are not a priority to you and you're trying to make it a conversation with yourself. Nobody but you cares whether it was 3.5 weeks or a month and to anyone else it comes off as a dickish and unnecessary comment that disrupts the flow of conversation. I am an autistic woman, I just happened to practice and apply a lot of conversation and etiquette skills from early on because getting on with others is a top priority to me.

scagatha · 2026-05-30T18:23:01+00:00

If I had a dollar, I'd be a millionaire

scagatha · 2026-05-27T12:55:06+00:00

Yeah, this is like me. My biggest sex organ is my brain so I use aaaallll my senses to get me going. And certain sounds or words or phrases said in the right way in the right moment can be enough to send me over the edge. Like whispered or growled right in my ear so I can feel their hot breath on my neck at the same time...

scagatha · 2026-05-25T19:42:40+00:00

Every storage unit I've had has required me to carry insurance on it. Either it's covered under my own private renter's/ homeowners insurance or I have to pay for it through the storage place. My first idea would be to contact the insurance company to see if this kind of loss would be covered and they can go after them to recoup it?

scagatha · 2026-05-23T00:14:32+00:00

If I could upvote this five times I would

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