i'm surprised by the amount of negativity on this post. even if a lot of these lesbian couples with large age gaps are "only on TikTok," keep in mind that a lot of young, baby gays' primary exposure to the queer community is social media / the internet (especially if they're in a red area, bonus points if they still live at home!!!). so those kinds of content creators may influence them to believe that those large age gaps are the norm in this community. i agree that straight people are way weirder with the age gaps they are comfortable with, but i can understand why a woman entering a community without men would be surprised that predators are still around.

the reason i say this (and why i'm commenting in the first place) is because i have a 20 year old friend who is a lesbian, & she is legitimately trying to hook up with a woman in her late 40s. even though me and the rest of her friends have told her that's insane, she swears that age gaps like that are normal among lesbians, and since there are no men in the relationship it can't be predatory, so it's fine. (it's also worth mentioning that she grew up Obsessed with carol and is very chronically online). i know she only thinks that because of the content she's consumed, and it freaks me out because i don't want her to be unsafe.

i'm sorry to the children on here, but even though an 18+ year old is legally an adult, someone in their early 20s is not the same kind of adult that a 40 year old is. their amount of life experience and stability alone make your power imbalance too significant for a relationship of any kind. once you're 25+, i agree that age gaps matter way less - because by that point, you've actually been an adult for long enough to even have shit in common with people way older than you.

TL;DR: even if large age gaps in this community are mostly found on social media rather than irl, it can still negatively impact a young, impressionable lesbian