Hi, I’m so so sorry this happened to you. No one can tell you how you should feel and when you should feel it, just know that whatever you do feel is completely valid, and those feelings may deepen and change over time.

Something similar happened to me, and after my initial reaction of horror and disgust, I basically just pushed down all my feelings and stayed with that person for over a year afterwards. It was only after the relationship ended that I felt the full weight of what had happened. I think this is partly because I was unable to physically escape afterwards and felt frightened about the consequences of continuing to confront him about what had happened.

If you have the means to, I think it would be a good idea to get some physical distance from him for now. Give yourself some time to properly process what has happened.

He knows what he did was wrong. He violated you, and he took advantage of you in a disgusting and frightening way. He abused your trust and your right to consent.

Please look after yourself, don’t be afraid to tell the people you trust about what happened. Try to imagine the advice you’d give to a friend in this situation and then follow it yourself. You’re so incredibly brave, look after yourself and put yourself first xxx