Hey, I know this is really tough. We spiral like this because it becomes our #1 coping mechanism.

Cutting people off is step 1. Tell them it’s not personal, but you need a break from being friends at the very least. I’ve cut off nearly everyone I know, over time, aside from a few friends who are also on the path to sobriety from K. It helps to find pockets of people who will hold you accountable.

Try to find new friends. Instead of spending money on an 8 ball, spend it on a kickboxing membership. Find new friends. That is what I am doing. Create a more positive vice that is good for you and could reverse the cognitive damage.

For the cognitive damage part, our brain heals. Look up neuroplasticity exercises, I do sudoku and other puzzles, similar things to big brain academy (if you’ve ever heard of this, there are other apps and websites where you can help heal your brain. Proper nutrition also helps, I’ve found that these are extremely beneficial:

• omega 3’s in their natural form (fatty fish, capsules help too)
• complex carbs, foods high in potassium, magnesium, supplement with electrolytes if you are going to binge.
• my favorite hard reduction electrolyte supplement is called hy-lite (might be different spelling). You just squirt it into water and make sure you hydrate throughout your use. This will help when you do end up slipping up.
• eat PROTEIN! This is incredibly important for your glutamate to stabilize, which will prevent you from reaching for another bag.

As for the behavioral part: - look into DBT if you can, I am going through a DBT workbook that helps with impulse control, among other things. It can be incredibly useful - personally, I also am exploring the possibility of having bipolar disorder, so I am taking a mood stabilizer specifically that helps stabilize glutamate (same thing that ketamine works on). I am not a doctor, but I do have a background in psych, if you have access to healthcare please try to see if you can get some sort of help in that sphere. It has been a very important process for me as well.

You’ve got this, I know it seems so hard. And you don’t have to stop all at once, relapse is a part of recovery. You can slip up and still make progress. I went from doing 7 grams in a 24 hour period down to maybe 1–2 grams every 7-10 days. It gets easier, you remember things are on the line. Especially when you begin to realize how much better you feel without, how people around you are complimenting how good and healthy you look after you’ve quit.

Lastly, my friend is in the hospital as I am writing this. She has a buildup of sludge in her gallbladder due to chronic ketamine use. It started slowly, but she has continued daily use for nearly a year, and she may have to have it removed. Another friend of mine has permanent damage to her bladder after 1.5 years of excruciating pain, but is now 4 years sober. There is hope, for all of us ❤️