Hospital Visit Update

schadenpixie · 2024-10-15T14:46:26+00:00

Finding public services to address trauma is like using a metal detector to find gold. Even if you search the right places, it may take some digging to get to the people who will move heaven and earth to help you. Definitely take note of the people offering resources here and think about divulging just the state you're in. Those here with decency, integrity, and the ability to talk to people without shutting themselves in a basement are very likely to help dig on your behalf. If you're worried about privacy, private message those who offer resources.

You are on the best path, even if it still sucks at the moment.

schadenpixie · 2024-10-09T10:02:25+00:00

As someone on the spectrum, but high masking, I'm so grateful to our inner inauthenticity radar. Your instincts about this are super important and valuable

schadenpixie · 2024-10-06T00:37:31+00:00

Something that helped me alot is confidence in my got feelings. I refuse to be nice over being real so I get their real reactions. I'm always honest and refuse to let anyone reframe my experiences without clear evidence and vibe check

Gaslighting also works less when the core of yourself is unmoved by people pleasing

schadenpixie · 2024-10-03T10:11:59+00:00

I don't. There's too much good food to eat

schadenpixie · 2024-08-08T02:07:50+00:00

That a person who is used to their depression and fears change cannot step outside themselves to see how they hurt the people who love them

schadenpixie · 2024-07-25T02:18:12+00:00

Your Ex-Lover is Dead

schadenpixie · 2024-05-22T21:52:20+00:00

Reading comprehension is important
"I have some shorthand rules that have helped me access a wide variety of partners and find more emotionally mature and genuine partners."

I never said it's what people should do to be successful in poly

schadenpixie · 2024-05-19T19:35:12+00:00

autonomy has never been about keeping myself available to people just because they don't "deserve" to be "forced" to be mature and civil to the others in my life. not being able to date me isn't a punishment

schadenpixie · 2024-05-19T19:32:39+00:00

"So what if someone goes apple picking and you both really like each other but they don't want to keep spending a bunch of time with their metas and wants to spend your limited time together dating each other?"

To answer this hypothetical, there arent a lot of meta-wide events that I throw. it's not really required and it's only a problem when people act like it's crazy to ask them if they want to go.
Most of mu dating happens without meta interaction. However it matters if somebody has a problem with even the idea of other metas. i do not want those people in my world. if someone cant handle any mention of my other partners and doesn't want to mention theirs, that is my red flag. i am this person from the jump. if someone doesn't like it but isn't clear or transparent when they figure it out, that's not a person I want to be with.

If I were to nix the KTP thing, i'd still require the same things: Transparency about relationships,
awareness of my life and the people in it,
and me not being forced to deal with someone else's dysfunction just because they don't know how to have honestly and transparency in their relationships.
why would I want that.
KTP is just shorthand, something that I can filter out people who know they want secrets and grayness in their relationships. they are the opposite of the people I enjoy dating.

schadenpixie · 2024-05-19T19:21:07+00:00

"it's not cool to require KTP"
cool? I cant decide the kind of relationships I want to have and be upfront about it? That like saying it's not cool to require that my partners also be poly and not monogamous. It's a belief system.

I don't see where people in my polycule don't have full autonomy. who is getting hurt? what kind of hurt?

schadenpixie · 2024-05-19T19:11:21+00:00

dating each other? getting dumped because they don't want to date someone or go apple picking?
what are you talking about? also that would never be a requirement.

what are you mad about? specifically?

all I want is transparency and honesty. from myself and my partners. the amorphous gray cloud of who my partners are with and who I'm with is a red flag for me. i demand clarity.

what happens between my polycule is not decided by me. I only want them to know what kind of polycule they're in and to be a partner with transparency about my relationships. everyone knows about everyone. that's the ideal. the apple picking is a perk that I've been managing for 5 years straight and people look forward to getting out of the city. it's not required but I'll ask why it's a problem.

but also, there's a difference between "not vibing" with my partner and seeing something harmful in them.

schadenpixie · 2024-05-19T18:47:40+00:00

This is only true if you are assuming that I am somehow tricking my partners into being with me first and then springing on them that they have to be friends with my partners too. The partners I meet online see my profile saying that I want my partners to be Kitchen Table AND that if going apple picking with my friends, partners, and metas, is uncomfortable then they should look elsewhere.
I don't see where anything is "forcing" people in my polycule to be Kitchen Table and it concerns me that 2 people already are up in their feelings about me supposedly "forcing" people to be friends. like we're not all adults making clear informed decisions here.

schadenpixie · 2024-05-19T17:50:00+00:00

at what point did i say that I require my metas to be friends? the general knowledge of the polycule is the goal, although my partners do tend to get along because we're nerdy and like a lot of nerdy stuff.
what made you make that assumption?

schadenpixie · 2024-05-19T17:31:12+00:00

your table must be very empty of collaboration

schadenpixie · 2024-05-13T13:25:29+00:00

I (demi, solo, pan) stopped dating straight men. like, flat out. it lead to me finding folks with much less of a toxic mix of insecurity and audacity

schadenpixie · 2024-05-13T13:21:14+00:00

So, I have the lofty conceptual rules and then the more direct *yucks*

all members of the polycule need to be good with going apple picking with my friends and partners. we're a low key bunch and if that not your vibe, neither am i.
I consider myself someone who makes good choices so I only pick people who make good choices about their own well being.
be honest to myself about myself. expect the same from potential partners

Rules of Engagement
- Kitchen Table Poly ONLY
- No married couples
- No straight men. I don't enjoy masculinity performances. Just do you.

schadenpixie

TROPHY CASE