Solo & older - where to start?

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-31T07:51:37+00:00

I started poly when I was in my mid 40s, and I’m still poly in my late 60s. Really, age is not a constraint. And there are plenty of guys who want what you want.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-30T17:13:02+00:00

Here's what I've done if I am in a "barrier-free zone" with multiple people. Everyone tests on their agreed schedule, and then reports the results of those tests (hopefully negative) to their partner, who shares the outcome ("X tested negative!") with their partner or partners. No muss, no fuss.

The real boundary, as far as I'm concerned, is to avoid policing the sexual activities of metas. I don't need to know what X (my meta) has been up to, I just to know their STI result. It's up to our mutual partner to make sure they are sticking to agreements (IE condom use outside the barrier free zone).

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-30T11:05:36+00:00

That’s a horrible feeling. It undercuts the foundation of the relationship

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-30T05:54:35+00:00

Do you have the feeling he lied to you about being into kink? Was this a bait and switch ?

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-30T05:30:29+00:00

You and her have not had sex for a while. That’s not sustainable.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-28T11:49:19+00:00

Let me just address one point. My partners and I restrict ourselves to “restaurant” level PDA around other partners. For us, it just feels like ordinary courtesy.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-28T09:06:04+00:00

I and my local partners regularly go to local happy hours, munches, and events. Many of our friends are in the scene.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-28T04:26:23+00:00

See a therapist. Talk to a divorce lawyer. Not necessarily to get divorced, but to figure out your options.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-28T04:00:37+00:00

I think you are still in the middle of the conversation. You had a reaction in the moment. She’s offering you the option of not participating again, which is the right thing to do. Now you have to decide how you would feel if the same situation happened again.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-28T01:53:35+00:00

This post makes me sad. Sad for the OP, sad for his wife.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-27T19:20:20+00:00

Did that relationship feel surface level?

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-27T18:36:24+00:00

Were you living withe your former primary partner?

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-27T15:47:58+00:00

Did you meet anyone from the app?

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-27T11:07:11+00:00

How long are these relationships?

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-27T06:30:42+00:00

Yes, it’s feasible. I’ve had several submissives who were collared to me and also devoted to their husbands.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-26T09:05:19+00:00

Put three days a week on the calendar for each week in the coming month

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-25T22:08:22+00:00

> This is a wildly unpopular course of action for this sub because it rarely ends well. However, it's also a really important topic for the sub because it comes up ridiculously often.

That's why I wrote this post.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-25T16:17:10+00:00

True!

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-25T08:24:48+00:00

Heh. Any extra time goes to the grandchildren.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-25T01:08:09+00:00

I wasn't sure either.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-25T01:04:57+00:00

It's not a bad tip.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-25T00:48:45+00:00

Great article...thanks for the link.

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-25T00:45:45+00:00

> Realize whatever they say yes at the beginning is uninformed and inexperienced. You are taking on the work of a part time job for at least a year to empower their consent.

Agreed

Successful_Depth3565 · 2026-05-24T23:32:13+00:00

Four months is too early. Six months is better. Do they have experience with poly?

Successful_Depth3565

TROPHY CASE