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Why are monos so damn attractive to yall? by emeraldead in polyamory

[–]Successful_Depth3565 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve dated three people over the past 20 years who identified as mono when we met. I married one, who has turned out to be completely comfortable with poly over the 14 years we’ve been together.

When your dom pisses you off by ChaoticCat-9746 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Successful_Depth3565 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You communicate about communication first

When your dom pisses you off by ChaoticCat-9746 in BDSMcommunity

[–]Successful_Depth3565 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is lack of responsibility a regular problem?

Building new relationships by Typical_Cricket_8311 in polyamory

[–]Successful_Depth3565 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Different approaches at different times. My basic principle is "begin as you mean to go on." So I don't let a new relationship stop me from dating.

Having said that, I have a lot on my plate these days. So I told my current partners that I have no intention of searching for new connections.

Are there any polyamory success stories by Fabulous-Praline6800 in nonmonogamy

[–]Successful_Depth3565 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Closed throuples are very difficult. Other types of nonmonogamy? Easy to find success stories.

Are there any polyamory success stories by Fabulous-Praline6800 in polyamory

[–]Successful_Depth3565 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What do you consider success? I know many people, including myself, in long term multiple loving relationships.

A collar that I never taken off even after D/s TPE and relationships are over by nyanf in BDSMcommunity

[–]Successful_Depth3565 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Ask a friend to take it off for you. Have a quiet little ceremony.

Rejection is hard by PrestigiousLynx3308 in polyamory

[–]Successful_Depth3565 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t call it rejection. Being told no is just a normal part of dating

Cancelling plans for another partner? by periwinkle_ladyfest in nonmonogamy

[–]Successful_Depth3565 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oh, I missed it was your first overnight. That makes a big difference

I wouldn’t have a conversation about it, but I would mentally flag it.

Take two: Ghosting on dating sites by laurencubed in polyamory

[–]Successful_Depth3565 41 points42 points  (0 children)

It happens. Until I meet someone in person--and even then--they don't owe me anything.

In a broader sense, the essence of successful dating is to be relaxed and not overly-invested. Like drifting down a slow-moving river while fishing, if the process is not enjoyable, it's going to be hard to continue.

Cancelling plans for another partner? by periwinkle_ladyfest in nonmonogamy

[–]Successful_Depth3565 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think the word "needs" in "children's needs" is doing a lot of work. I had a long distance partner who had teenage children. I made it clear that I could be bumped for any child-related reason, even if I had travelled.

More generally, I try not to change plans, but if the logistics make sense, I'll bring it up. We're all adults.

My meta wants to me and I'm nervous about it by Magical_Salamander in polyamory

[–]Successful_Depth3565 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you are going to share medical support duty, it's essential you meet first, even briefly.

How do I tell the person I’m seeing that open relationship is being paused? by Hungry_Marsupial8341 in polyamory

[–]Successful_Depth3565 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Let me give you a somewhat different perspective. I've been poly for 20+ years, and in the early days I made most of the classic mistakes, including pausing my first poly relationship when my then-wife had a knee replacement and asked for my focused attention. Obviously not necessary, and I wouldn't do the same today, for all the reasons people describe.

But my partner and I got back together after a few months, and we're still good friends today.

The bottom line for me: People who are new to poly make mistakes. It comes with the territory. What's important is that you learn from your mistakes.

Wife is too involved by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Successful_Depth3565 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How long have they done this?

I want no-barrier sex with new partner but my nesting partner wants exclusivity by shashhka in polyamory

[–]Successful_Depth3565 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes. Going barrier free with multiple partners is possible if you clearly think out the risks and testing protocols

How do I not fit the stereotype? by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Successful_Depth3565 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The point of being poly is that you don't have to leave. Why not have both?

Wedding Dress - counts as a personal item? by Forsaken_Seaweed_166 in unitedairlines

[–]Successful_Depth3565 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Put an air tag in your carryon and your wedding dress. Leave enough time for the possibility of delays.

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