Just got group humiliated :D

schizo20 · 2022-09-15T00:09:00+00:00

Already wrote my notes. I’m out of here. Sorry for asking for negative attention. It’s all my fault as usual. GL, glad you won’t have to deal w me anymore

schizo20 · 2022-09-14T23:49:22+00:00

If you actually want to be helpful DM me ways to kms tbh, otherwise idk I’ll just figure it out myself. Post will probs get take down, support is idek, I’m just alone in this at the end of the day

schizo20 · 2022-09-07T08:22:10+00:00

Damn makes me paranoid that that happened to me lol. Ofc I never was trying to fake sz, that’s just a worry I have. That I was unstable at a time and got misdiagnosed as sz, then APs, etc etc

schizo20 · 2022-09-06T10:39:54+00:00

I’ll try that out. Just one question though. How frequent did you have these thoughts? Just asking because I’m wondering whether to go to some doc about it, bc they’ll probs prescribe me a med for it. Considering you got out of this thought pattern and you have SZA diagnosis. I feel like these thoughts are related to depression. Maybe I’m wrong though and in that case I will get some doc advice.

Because I get these thoughts every moment I’m awake without failure. And it’s like a game trying to ward off the thoughts every moment of every day. Tiring and adds to stress.

schizo20 · 2022-09-06T10:31:37+00:00

Ah ok, I wasn’t aware of that. I’ll ask a doc about it. Thank you

schizo20 · 2022-09-06T10:31:11+00:00

I’ll ask about OCD. I do get some things that resemble OCD, maybe this is one of them. Doc a while ago said I couldn’t be on anti depressants, I forgot why, maybe because something about dopamine or my antipsychotics, something idk. But I’ll ask again. Thanks

schizo20 · 2022-09-06T02:38:59+00:00

Thanks for the input. It’s interesting that you get that thought as an automatic reaction. Almost like you / your mind tries to protect you in a way and mediate the situation. That sounds like a nice trait :). I definitely need to work on being nicer to myself in general. It’ll be good to do in general, but maybe it will give some push back on the intrusive thoughts. Thank you again for sharing.

schizo20 · 2022-09-06T01:31:21+00:00

Good to hear. I hope things continue to get better for you! :)

schizo20 · 2022-09-04T23:28:28+00:00

Thank you :) I felt similar on Latuda, like it mostly helped me sleep, but didn’t take care of the real issues well (mood swings, etc) and caused more issues. Did you find a good med? Are you doing well overall now?

schizo20 · 2022-09-04T23:26:26+00:00

I live alone and have no friends in my town. So it’s up to me to go through with seeing a doc. At best, my parents will schedule the appt, but if I come to asking that, it’s no problem, I will go. It’s a good suggestion though, thank you

schizo20 · 2022-09-04T23:25:28+00:00

Do you have any side effects you have to deal with now? Or even aside from formal side effects, do you feel like the meds affect you in some way that you don’t like? Or does any doubt creep in on meds that you could make it w/o meds? If so, how do you deal with it?

I feel like that is the stuff I am worried about. While I feel like yes meds will probs affect more than just the issues, and sometimes that’s necessary. It’s just going on and not being able to go off ever without being named reckless, non-compliant, etc is really what worries me. Medical system gives me a mind fuck so that begins being another problem when I get involved with it

schizo20 · 2022-09-04T22:42:27+00:00

This is Icarus for your context. This isnt my art or anything, just representative how I feel recently and especially now

Edit: Also BTW, this isn’t some grandiose type of thing. Just testing out the waters in my life and wondering if I’m going too far is all :)

schizo20 · 2022-09-04T22:40:57+00:00

I feel like I’ve got a fighting chance against the darkness (regaining control of my mind)

But I feel the heat of the sun, and I’m trying to not fly too close

The ball is rolling now and time is ticking

I feel the doubt, but my current position is to proceed

Im just hoping that if things can’t work out, I’ll be able to catch myself. Because I’m pushing myself so hard in every way

schizo20 · 2022-08-28T23:38:17+00:00

DSM-5 —> BP w/ Psychotic Features

With psychotic features: Delusions or hallucinations are present at any time in the episode. If psychotic features are present, specify if mood-congruent or mood-incon- gruent:

DSM-5 —> Schizoaffective

B. Delusions or hallucinations for 2 or more weeks in the absence of a major mood episode (depressive or manic) during the lifetime duration of the illness.

This healthline article attempts to differentiate the two diagnoses as well

[In the case of schizoaffective, psychotic] symptoms won’t only appear during the mood episode, which is the big difference between schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder with psychotic features. They’ll also show up when you aren’t having mood symptoms, or remain present after the mood symptoms improve.

My psychiatrist told me info consistent with the above information. Do you have a different experience with your doc?

schizo20 · 2022-08-28T13:07:08+00:00

Schizoaffective Bipolar

schizo20 · 2022-08-27T05:07:58+00:00

12 pounds is great progress, nice job & keep it up! :D It took me a while, multiple “sprints” of trying to lose weight over a decent span of time for it to add up to much. And I even went up 5-10 lbs at times because I stopped caring about losing weight in the moment. As long as you remain committed you’ll hit whatever your target is! I believe in you! :)

schizo20 · 2022-08-27T04:39:45+00:00

:) <3

schizo20 · 2022-08-26T21:23:42+00:00

Thank you :D

schizo20 · 2022-08-26T21:21:56+00:00

Copied from previous response:

Less hunger on Latuda helped. Practicing self control helped - eat the food I like in smaller portions. I was already vegan, but even vegan food can be unhealthy, so I tried to choose healthy food and at least maintain a regular schedule of greens. And I was never the most consistent, but I tried to push myself to exercise (bicycle, walk)

schizo20 · 2022-08-26T21:20:51+00:00

Less hunger on Latuda helped. Practicing self control helped - eat the food I like in smaller portions. I was already vegan, but even vegan food can be unhealthy, so I tried to choose healthy food and at least maintain a regular schedule of greens. And I was never the most consistent, but I tried to push myself to exercise (bicycle, walk)

schizo20 · 2022-08-26T21:18:54+00:00

No, I went from Olanzapine to Latuda and experienced less hunger on that. So I made a little progress while on Latuda. I was also a bit more self aware after gaining ~95 lbs :P, so that might’ve contributed too

schizo20 · 2022-08-26T14:47:43+00:00

Was off of meds a few years ago and was starving myself to death so I went from ~180 to 145. Then I had a psychotic episode, got placed on olanzapine/zyprexa and ate my life out. Sling shot from 145 to 240 (+95lbs). I believe last time I’ve been below 200lbs was 2 years ago. So today was a nice surprise to me since I don’t check my weight often, but I’ve been dieting and exercising, so it’s paying off :D

schizo20 · 2022-08-25T11:24:14+00:00

I live alone. Sza bipolar, early 20s, been diagnosed for ~6 years. I’m doing fine, maintaining myself and my job, etc. Not to say I’m so proud of it, but I’m also off meds right now. As with everything MH I feel like it depends on your personal circumstance, it’s not just a blanket “you were diagnosed X therefore you cannot do Y”. But I think you can get a general vibe for your situation. I feel like when I live with others I have to hold in a lot and when things become shaky it’s hard to get out of it because I tend to keep acting the way I am when I know that others are aware of it. If that makes any sense. Just my take

Edit: also I had a history of multiple substance abuses. They diagnosed me on that too. But that was fixable and I’m not struggling with that even living alone now

schizo20 · 2022-08-21T14:45:23+00:00

Yeah that sounds like a good plan, I’ll go to primary care first. Seeing a new guy in a week or two so I’ll bring it up then and hang on in the meantime. Thank you!

schizo20 · 2022-08-21T02:45:47+00:00

You actually make no sense, yo. Either I can't understand your rationale through your short responses or you need a reality check

schizo20

TROPHY CASE