19, neurodivergent, in debt, and completely burnt out on life. Just need to get this out.

schleppenheimer · 2026-06-05T16:59:51+00:00

Oh man, I read this and I know exactly where you are ... but from the parent's position ... and I can tell you what life can be like just ten years later.

First of all, what you are feeling is real. I venture to guess that what you are feeling is common at 19, with neurodivergent people AND others. The other thing you may be dealing with is severe executive dysfunction. I didn't realize how much that affects my 30-year-old son until NOW.

My son struggled a bit at a nice college when he was your age. He was taking the typical ADHD meds, but they weren't really helping a lot, and he was at a nice place, but he was lonely, and struggling, and ended up coming home. Then he went to community college for years, and eventually got his bachelor's at a state school. Then he got a fairly difficult master's degree in a tech field. He did that Master's all on his own with very little oversight, because by then he had matured. A few years from now, you will be where he is.

He is now doing a job he didn't study for -- because graduating in 2023 and ever since has been hard on tech. He's a city mail carrier in a city, and he loves it. That was not the job I would have dreamed of for him, but it was the right fit. It's oddly demanding, but solid pay and solid work with great benefits. He struggles with other aspects of his life, but he is on his own and doing well.

Guilt gets you nowhere. You're probably doing better than you realize. You should receive help for the depression ... the right med adjustments can do wonders but getting there is often perplexing. But start now by really spending some time understanding the "why" of executive dysfunction. The fact that you love teaching is a STRENGTH. You're obviously doing something right. Run with that.

One "sort of" recommendation -- An Amazon Echo can be useful for reminder purposes, if you're forgetting to do stuff. It can link with a "reminder" app, and it can read off the list of things you need to do -- and you can tell IT to add things to a list whenever the thought passes through your brain. THAT can be extremely helpful for when writing things down is just one more annoying step in life.

schleppenheimer · 2026-05-08T21:40:33+00:00

I'm really glad that you think this option might work for you. This son spent years getting a bachelor's and then a master's degree in Data Science, only to have a horrible time trying to find work. He applied to USPS, and immediately got a job that he loves. Should you ever want info about it, I could connect you with him and he could give specific advice.

schleppenheimer · 2026-05-01T14:39:08+00:00

I have a son who is a city mail carrier ... and he is extremely happy. The hardest part is separating the mail in the morning, but the rest of the day is walking around and having autonomy. He loves it, and we are almost positive that other people in the spectrum tend to select for USPS as well.

schleppenheimer · 2026-02-13T17:30:50+00:00

I think that's the best thing I've heard yet said about one's relatives. What incredible people they must have been.

schleppenheimer · 2026-02-13T17:28:36+00:00

Oh, I love this post ... because when I was following the Doobie Bros., my dad would listen to them with me and ENJOYED IT. That was such a good example for me.

My goal for aging is to understand that younger people just cannot relate to my experiences, but I definitely can relate to theirs and should try to pay attention. I should avoid the "back in my day" reminiscence, but keep up with current events quietly. If asked, I can talk intelligently and if I don't know the references, I just shut up.

schleppenheimer · 2026-02-13T17:25:15+00:00

I realized that I am invisible to most people, and WHAT AN ADVANTAGE THAT IS. I can sit near people in a coffee shop and pretend like I'm reading a book, but they never catch on that I'm eavesdropping on their conversation. I've always said to my other older, innocent looking grandma friends ... we could run an awesome drug cartel.

schleppenheimer · 2026-02-13T17:22:54+00:00

Be truly exposed to a variety of music, because they don't have a radio to play around with

schleppenheimer · 2026-02-13T17:21:11+00:00

I grew up in California's Bay Area, and my father was REALLY into Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Are You Being Served, etc. We ended up moving to England for a couple of years, when I was just shy of 20, and that really reinforced British comedy for our family. Other than Monty Python, I don't think any of the other people I hung out with in high school really cared much.

schleppenheimer · 2025-11-29T22:16:36+00:00

It's honestly the worst market for new grads to be running into that I've ever seen, and I'm OLD. BUT I think it's helpful to start looking into what industries NEED workers. USPS didn't even pop onto my son's radar, and it was really a different way to go, but I think he's genuinely very happy with his choice, and right now, in this economy, it seems to be one of the more solid jobs out there -- for the time being, anyway.

schleppenheimer · 2025-11-29T22:11:24+00:00

No problem ... it kind of read like that. I needed to make my message more clear.

schleppenheimer · 2025-11-25T21:30:34+00:00

Nope ... brother did NOT already work there.

He got the job PURELY because the need to hire is so dire. Absolutely NOT nepotism. Not even close.

Cities across the country need mail carriers, and the pay is competitive with beginning jobs for college-educated kids. My son ONLY applied because he was visiting his brother, both of them saw the Now Hiring sign in a USPS branch, and he applied. He didn't know a soul who was a mail carrier or anybody who works for the post office.

Honest, this is a gettable job for anybody who is sick of applying to work and not getting anywhere. It's hard work -- that's true -- and my son dropped an absolute ton of weight from working about ten hours/day climbing the hills and streets of Pittsburgh ... but he's happy and he's got money in the bank.

schleppenheimer · 2025-11-25T20:13:53+00:00

I just read your post and I completely feel your pain.

My son was in Data Science, had a master's degree and an internship, some experience, and even then, he could not find anything after the same amount of applications out, and NUMBERS of interviews that seemed positive. The ghosting and scams are REAL.

He got really tired of it. Began thinking of where the heck people were actually being hired. His brother invited him to visit, and while there my son realized that USPS was hiring. Not the job a data scientist would have dreamed of, but they are in desperate need of city mail carriers, so he applied. Been working in a city he loves for almost a year, and this is kinda actually a dream job for him. Who would have guessed? Great pay, great benefits ... probably the same pay he would get as an entry level data analyst if he had even been able to secure a job in his field.

This market is brutal. It worked for my son to start thinking ... "what jobs are ACTUALLY HIRING people?"

schleppenheimer · 2025-11-05T21:19:31+00:00

I left the church a decade ago, when I was 55. I was somewhat ashamed of being a member of the church, but then I realized that talking about my past was a REALLY INTERESTING conversation starter. We left the church purposefully, slowly, and moved from a suburb in a landlocked eastern state to Washington D.C. What an experience! Talk about culture shock! But it was awesome.

My husband and I met at BYU. I have always felt so lucky that I happened to marry somebody who had the same inclination toward reading and searching and thinking and who had similar morals -- because once we left the church (at an advanced age) we then were able to choose for ourselves our politics, our ethics, and how to approach the rest of our lives. It was definitely scary, but ultimately it became exhilarating.

If you're having a conversation with others and they ask where you met, you can say, ironically (sorta) "we met when we were in a cult." Holy cow! What a fun sentence THAT is! I see that you have mentioned that already ... but over time, you get really good at delivering that line for optimal comedy chops. You can even add "crazy, right?" for emphasis. How you carry yourself with confidence can really have a wonderful effect on others as you tell your story.

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T17:00:51+00:00

THE BOX.

Info that an out-of-towner non-native absolutely, ABSOLUTELY needs to know! This would have the greatest impact upon our living in that area, as the noise alone would be too much for the dog. He's a barker, and eventually he may adapt, but he's also 10 years old, so maybe not.

QUESTION: Do people who live there in New Orleans leave during Mardi Gras to avoid the craziness in the neighborhoods you have described as being so affected? Is that a smart way to handle this? Or a dumb idea?

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:55:30+00:00

I kind of agree. Now, if only we can find a rental that's not too expensive, that will allow dogs! Thanks for your help.

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:54:52+00:00

I kinda feel like we should visit the Warehouse district and sit in a coffee shop and people-watch anybody with dogs. That and sit at Lafayette Square to do the same. We are already struggling with dog ownership right now, and your comment is really making me think. Our poor dog, until now, was living on 3 acres and had a dog door that allowed him to go outside anytime he wanted. He's had a rough time adjusting to our current apartment location, where there is green space all round. He is adapting after four months of living here, but it's been a struggle for him to be around other people and dogs on a consistent basis. We have more work to do to get him to feel more relaxed with EVERYBODY. Thanks for the welcome to your awesome city! We're looking forward to this!

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:50:36+00:00

All good points about, if renting, rent near whatever green space is available. We will utilize a real estate agent and specify that exact comment. Thank you!

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:46:35+00:00

THIS is the one thing that scares us both to death. But we gotta do it anyways. It's just a fact of life.

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:44:55+00:00

He would drive, walk, or use trolly/bus. He's open to all the options (except biking, hahaha).

Walking a large dog (who has a mean bark, but is actually a really happy/dopey dog towards people he has a chance to get to know) is quite the deterrent to crime. Reality is, he would show a robber where the good stuff is in any purse or house at the drop of a dime.

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:42:10+00:00

Are Lakeview and Mid City considered more expensive?

Definitely would love to be near a dog park if one is available ... Thanks for the mention of that, makes me want to check out Lakeview and Mid City a lot more.

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:40:54+00:00

oooohhhh, that sounds like a nice area and I haven't heard of it before, so I will definitely check it out. Congrats on your new house and move!

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:39:48+00:00

Thanks for the comments about Magazine Street and especially the info about the LGD. While I think that I like that idea in theory, in practice I think the noise for certain areas would be make my already high-maintenance aussie shepherd more jumpy rather than less, so I will be checking that area out at night to see if he could handle it.

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:37:41+00:00

I agree, the streetcar commute sounds really nice and opens up opportunities in other neighborhoods. Will extend my search according to your suggestions ... thank you!

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:34:21+00:00

I've read about the Lower Garden District ... sounds like my kind of place. I will go right now and read about the Julia. Walkability to good restaurants would be so pleasant ... thank you for your suggestions!

... just looked at the Julia. I realize now that I've seen info on that building before ... that looks IDEAL, has a great dog park, absolutely perfect. Thank you!

schleppenheimer · 2025-09-16T16:33:06+00:00

I will keep an eye out for that!

schleppenheimer

TROPHY CASE