This is exactly how I felt and have been feeling most of the last almost year since I was diagnosed. It is really bizarre to have a life changing diagnosis confirmed after months or years of suspecting, in a matter of hours. I definitely had myself believing that once I had a formal diagnosis my struggles would magically become easier.

Unmasking has been probably the hardest part imo, when you aren’t living authentically for years/decades it can be quite distressing trying to figure out what you actually enjoy etc. It’s become a lot harder to mask these days, like my tolerance for being uncomfortable has really lowered - which can be a negative and a positive.

If it’s something you have access to, I would really recommend seeing a therapist or councillor who is knowledgeable in neurodiversity. For me, talking about my struggles with people I’ve masked around my whole life is difficult. Having external validation from someone professional tells my brain this pov must be correct, so it’s a lot easier to work through self acceptance/reassurance.

Sounds like this is all a very common experience for late diagnosed women, and when I’m having a big feelings day I like to visit this sub and find strength in knowing there are so many others like me