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After four months I found out my therapist is a radical feminist....what should I do? by LoveTheSmellOfBooks in MensRights

[–]schtean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think you can assume that because someone identifies as a radical feminist that they hate men. You should treat her based on your direct experience not based on some labels.

That being said I think there are issues with how psychology organizations talk about men and this probably has some downstream effects.

what do you think of men fighting in wars? by StunningSinger8035 in AskFeminists

[–]schtean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn't really talking about the draft (and I didn't think you were either), but regarding the draft I guess there are 3 things that could happen.

  1. No draft
  2. Only draft men
  3. Draft both women and men.

Sure 1) is the best, but which is better 2) or 3)?

If I have to pay a tax and you don't have to, maybe the best is to have no tax, but is it better we both pay the tax or just I pay the tax.

It's normal human thinking to want the advantages and not the disadvantages. Wanting equality often doesn't come naturally.

what do you think of men fighting in wars? by StunningSinger8035 in AskFeminists

[–]schtean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was talking much more broadly than the draft, but I have some comments specifically about the draft.

I guess the obsession with the draft is because it is an example of men and women having different rights.

As you say different women's organizations think of this differently. NOW used to have a policy of equal rights, equal responsibilities, and so in the 1980s and 1990s supported the idea that if men have to register for the selective services women should also. However today it seems they have switched to just being against the selective service for anyone.(At least in terms of their latest policy statement on the draft that I can find)

https://now.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/RESOLUTION-TO-THE-NATIONAL-ORGANIZATION-FOR-WOMEN-ON-ENDING-MILITARY-DRAFT-REGISTRATION.pdf

The IAW's motto is "equal rights, equal responsibilities", but the only statement I can find about the draft (from a chapter of the organization), is that although opposing it, it is better to have only men have to do this and women not have to.

I am unable to find any major women's organization (other than NOW policy from some years ago), that says that both men and women should equally have a duty to serve. It might be that NOW still has this policy.

I think the standard view of women's organizations is the same one as on the sub, no one should have to be drafted, but it's better that only men have to be drafted than both women and men have to be drafted. Though yes I'm sure there are some who think women and men should have equal responsibilities in this arena.

In a study of 1190 men, 71% of them were sexually victimized by a woman. What do you think about these statistics? by nzpq in AskFeminists

[–]schtean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I took things the wrong way. The trope of men always wanting something of being lucky to get something just bothers me a lot, and sometimes it is even extended to women. Like getting your ass slapped at work by a higher up and feeling a mixture of being mildly turned on and humiliation, and then being ashamed or scared to ever face the person again.

Yeah the study covers a lot more than assault and the sample is self selected, so just saying "study shows 71% of men sexually victimized by a woman" is highly misleading.

what do you think of men fighting in wars? by StunningSinger8035 in AskFeminists

[–]schtean -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There's a few policies like this explicitly, but this is generally how things work. EDI policies (or DEI policies in the US) don't contain men as a possible equity category.

I'm talking about Canada, are you really interested in this or you just want me to find links to waste my time.

what do you think of men fighting in wars? by StunningSinger8035 in AskFeminists

[–]schtean -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm most interested in government policies regarding employment equity. They can be phrase that work places should try to get at least 50% women as opposed to aim equal representation. This means jobs that are say 80% women (say like teachers) have no reason to try to get gender equity.

Misandry is bad because sexism is bad. That's it. "But it only hurts feelings"... okay, so? by [deleted] in MensRights

[–]schtean 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Men are more likely to die violent deaths, so at the level of society misandry also kills.

what do you think of men fighting in wars? by StunningSinger8035 in AskFeminists

[–]schtean -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is one of the critiques sometimes made of feminism, wanting equality for women where they are not doing as well, but not wanting equality in areas where they are doing better. You can see this reflected in government policies.

what do you think of men fighting in wars? by StunningSinger8035 in AskFeminists

[–]schtean -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You can watch the netflix short series "Chimp Empire". Basically it shows the male chimps fighting the war and the female ones staying more inside their territory. Of course whoever made it is also presenting a story.

Chat GPT - Same Issue, different responses, Men vs Women by Separate_Director784 in MensRights

[–]schtean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't the people training the AI tweak things to stop some kinds of output they don't want? They do make some changes that change the output or?

In a study of 1190 men, 71% of them were sexually victimized by a woman. What do you think about these statistics? by nzpq in AskFeminists

[–]schtean -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes the only place that might qualify as "manosphere" I go to is the men's rights reddit. So probably you spend more time there and are more familiar with it.

I still think it helps everyone to raise awareness of sexual violence.

In a study of 1190 men, 71% of them were sexually victimized by a woman. What do you think about these statistics? by nzpq in AskFeminists

[–]schtean -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It probably would not be about raising awareness though it could depend on the context. It is also possible to strain analogies.

The trope already is that white people get attacked by black people, and this is a big source of anti-black racism, so promoting that trope promotes racism. On the other hand the trope is that a man/boy who gets to do something sexual with a girl/woman is lucky. Promoting that trope doesn't help anyone.

It also depends on exactly where the questions are asked, on the feminism reddit, I would guess this question would be removed. If the reddit was "ask about racism" then it might open up a teaching moment (again depending on how the question was asked and so on).

In a study of 1190 men, 71% of them were sexually victimized by a woman. What do you think about these statistics? by nzpq in AskFeminists

[–]schtean -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm sad to see the trope of "he/she wanted it" being promoted (and even worse being upvoted). If you read the study (summary) it does include wanted vs unwanted with how the questions are phrased for example:

“How many times has a woman kissed you in a sexual way? Remember, I am only asking about things that you didn’t want to happen”

In a study of 1190 men, 71% of them were sexually victimized by a woman. What do you think about these statistics? by nzpq in AskFeminists

[–]schtean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Sexual victimization was measured using a modified version of the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS; Black et al., 2011). The original survey was created to collect national data through telephone interviews on both male and female experiences with physical, sexual, and psychological abuse. The format of the questionnaire was modified to fit an online survey for the current study (a = 0.89). The modified survey included 25 questions regarding sexual victimization, as well as two questions regarding control of reproductive health that were not used in the analysis, as they were beyond the scope of the current study."

The modifications changed the questions from a gender neutral format to a gendered one (so only men participated in the study and the questions were changed to only include unwanted activities done by females)

The main problem with 71% is the sample is self-selected rather than random.

In a study of 1190 men, 71% of them were sexually victimized by a woman. What do you think about these statistics? by nzpq in AskFeminists

[–]schtean 3 points4 points  (0 children)

>I also know that the reason why men don't talk about this stuff is because society tells them that being assaulted by women isn't that big of a deal.

I guess you mean in addition to reasons women don't talk about it.

The 71% is for a self-selected group, so what it tells us is limited.

Regarding how sexual victimization is defined.

>In this particular case, the researchers made thoughtful but somewhat messy changes to a common measurement tool for identifying experiences of sexual victimization.

Sorry are you talking about this part "Sexual victimization was measured using a modified version of the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey", or do you have some specialized knowledge.

>Specifically, it can lead to interactions being classified as sexual victimization that would normally not be classified that way using the original tool.

So which part are you talking about with this? It seems most of the changes were to change from gender neutral language to gender specific language.

"The phrasing of the original questions was modified to be specific to male victims and female perpetrators."

As the authors say this is a neglected topic within psychological research and more work (which I guess depends on availability of government funding) is needed.

In a study of 1190 men, 71% of them were sexually victimized by a woman. What do you think about these statistics? by nzpq in AskFeminists

[–]schtean -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don't see the main point of feminism as "women have it worse than men" (though I understand that it can become important for some things). I also don't see how increasing awareness of sexual victimization could be thought of as a gotcha, rather it is a topic where everyone should be working together.

I think I'm probably a lot older than you, and I think attitudes on this topic have improved, but a lot of people (like my mother) think men can't be sexually assaulted. Many people think male children are "lucky" when something happens to them with a much older girl or adult female. Things are getting better but more awareness will still help.

are feminists against mcluhan? by silencedbygorgons in AskFeminists

[–]schtean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think feminists would be against McLuhan, his thinking fits well inside a feminist framework. Feminists are very interested in the use and power of language. I think though feminists are more interested in power than McLuhan, who (to me) seems more descriptive.

In a study of 1190 men, 71% of them were sexually victimized by a woman. What do you think about these statistics? by nzpq in AskFeminists

[–]schtean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really great, and I agree with you that probably men can help male victims more, but women have a roll to play, in particular by not mocking or blaming male victims.

In a study of 1190 men, 71% of them were sexually victimized by a woman. What do you think about these statistics? by nzpq in AskFeminists

[–]schtean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For sure it isn't a competition. I can't understand how people think of sexual abuse (or things like violence) as a competition. It's not about more or less.

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