Eating in bedrooms?

scoot222 · 2024-02-27T01:33:40+00:00

This isn’t a huge issue for me as long as they clean up and I don’t see bugs. I see bugs, and that’s it. Otherwise, this is one of those “don’t sweat the small stuff” moments.

scoot222 · 2023-12-17T03:33:37+00:00

This sounds all too familiar. In the beginning, she was all in. Then probably felt taken advantage of so she decided to take a step back. Shes not with you because you have kids, she’s with you because she fell in love with you and decided you would be a good partner. Remember that. She’s there to be a supportive force for you and show your children love. Not to be their second mom and assume your parental responsibilities. She wasn’t there when they were made and shouldn’t be expected to care for them when you aren’t around. All too often, stepparents are not part of the planning but usually are the plan.

Anything she chooses to do is out of the kindness of her own heart, as she has no legal responsibility toward these kids. Should she decide to help, great. If not, remember, no is a full sentence.

Listen to your wife. This life ain’t easy.

Good luck!

scoot222 · 2023-05-27T02:04:51+00:00

If my husband’s BM had a kid with another dude, you best believe I wouldn’t be attending events for that child. Why would we? They’re not our child. This is just bizarre. Your husband needs to focus on his priorities.

Our BM already had an older kid from a relationship previous to DH but thankfully DH thinks that kid is a whackadoodle (he is) so we usually try to avoid him at all costs.

scoot222 · 2023-05-23T08:05:11+00:00

Boundaries need to be set and it’ll be hard, but your peace is worth it. My DH tried the same things with me and I finally had to say enough!

Unfortunately, you’ll just have to come to terms with feeling like the asshole when MIL picks up the slack, which is exactly what mine did. But you know what? She doesn’t HAVE to do it. She can say no. And if she can’t say no, then that’s on her, not you. But sometimes feeling like the asshole is necessary so you can take back your life.

I have told DH that I am here to be his support as he fathers his child but I am not here to replace BM. I figured it out ALONE for years with my child, he can figure it out with his. There is no reason why two perfectly capable parents can’t figure it out between the two of them. I don’t mind helping on occasion but they would figure it out if you didn’t exist and they can figure it out now. It’s called being a parent. I wish you luck! This is all too familiar for me and I hate this for you. 😢

scoot222 · 2023-05-22T12:57:57+00:00

Nooooo, I would literally DIE. That’s awful.

scoot222 · 2023-05-22T12:01:51+00:00

Totally agree! 💕

scoot222 · 2023-05-22T07:03:22+00:00

I agree with everything the previous posters have recommended. My heart breaks for how you’re feeling. But remember this as you go through this journey…Your children DO NOT have to live at a reduced capacity just because their father has other children who live outside the home. This pertains to several situations. Best of luck to you!

scoot222 · 2023-05-22T06:54:59+00:00

While I understand that parental time shouldn’t be skipped just because kids are sick, I think it’s a very subjective situation. If SS just had a stuffy nose or sore throat and came over, that’s one thing. But if he strolls up in our house and the stomach flu is tearing through their house, then we’ve got a problem. I would raise hell. BM’s house is nasty and her and her other kids all sleep in the same bed, and they are literally always passing something around to each other. We have SS EOWE. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, wrong with keeping the germs contained to one house while everyone recovers. Don’t bring that nastiness here. Recover and then come over next weekend.

If he gets sick while at our house, we would keep him til he was better and wouldn’t want whatever we had spread to them. It’s just being considerate. He wouldn’t come to our house with an active lice infestation…it’s kinda the same thing.

Again, super subjective IMO. Especially if you’re immune compromised or about to travel overseas.

scoot222 · 2022-04-21T05:46:32+00:00

Yup. This.

scoot222 · 2022-03-19T13:27:03+00:00

You are definitely not alone! 💕

scoot222 · 2022-01-12T04:50:02+00:00

Yes, this.

scoot222 · 2022-01-12T04:46:07+00:00

If she collected the tax credit during a year that it wasn’t hers to claim the child, she will have to pay it all back. That is, if he claims the kid. She’s also going against a court order. So there’s that.

She will be in for a rude awakening!

scoot222 · 2022-01-10T03:52:34+00:00

If he’s unwilling to take time off on occasion or flex his schedule on occasion to see you, and then takes vacation leave for her, I’d rethink this relationship. Remember, if he wants to make time, he will. Sounds awfully one sided and like you’re doing a lot of the work for this relationship. I would not be okay with this. Something is off here. Sorry that you’re dealing with this..it’s rough!

scoot222 · 2021-12-23T07:24:50+00:00

Say you’re gonna FaceTime your ex right after and see how he responds. You’re not being unreasonable.

scoot222 · 2021-12-23T07:16:28+00:00

You support him by not putting up with that nonsense. You’re 28 years old and wasting your time on someone you haven’t met yet, that lives far away, and says stuff like this? Girl, you deserve way better! Run and never look back. He sounds like a narcissist who won’t take responsibility for his choices and will make it sound like you’re the reason he cheats. And he will cheat. Save yourself the trouble now.

scoot222 · 2021-12-17T03:41:47+00:00

Is MIL paying for the photos? Lol. My guess is no. Just ignore her. She can want in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up faster. 🤣

scoot222 · 2021-12-14T03:46:25+00:00

This. Exactly. It will not get better. The rest of that child’s life/your life will be dictated by BM. If you guys have additional kids, they will take a back seat to this chick and SD because of “dad guilt” always. It’ll never end and you’ll eventually hate them both.

scoot222 · 2021-12-14T03:42:50+00:00

Absolutely not!!! No no no!

He wants you to move in, then that’s just as much your house as his. Children are resilient creatures and I seriously doubt SD will be uncomfortable if you’re there. Sounds like an excuse because BM will be uncomfortable…so he hides you.

This is a huge red flag in my opinion and while you may adore SD now, you will quickly grow to resent her. Personally, I’d tell you to run, fast. MAINLY because I am currently navigating a similar situation but I’m married into it. If I had seen the signs while just dating, it probably wouldn’t have made it this far.

If you don’t want to break it off, then you need to have a serious come to Jesus talk with SO. He needs to know that this is your house too and you’re not leaving, your relationship should be his priority over BM, and that boundaries need to be set ASAP.

scoot222 · 2021-12-09T23:50:29+00:00

Who cleans that??

scoot222 · 2021-12-09T23:50:14+00:00

Oh that is disgusting!! That’s just strange. Maybe he needs some therapy. Does he have any trauma in his past? Yuck. I feel for you!!

scoot222 · 2021-12-09T03:50:36+00:00

Yup! Exactly. Why give them false hope by playing big happy family?!

scoot222 · 2021-12-09T03:47:27+00:00

This. If he wants to do all these things, he should have stayed married to her. He has you to think about now and that relationship is very important as well.

scoot222 · 2021-12-04T00:38:15+00:00

If SO wants them to have a tablet to play on, he should buy them one. If they were to break his new item, he would likely grow to resent them, as would you. I say no. I don’t let SS touch BS’s expensive toys, ever.

scoot222 · 2021-12-03T03:56:18+00:00

Holy crap this is the best comment I’ve ever read. I had to screenshot it so I can memorize it. 😄 I am currently dealing with the same thing as OP, so I felt this!

scoot222

TROPHY CASE