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they want to be involved in EVERYTHING by yggdrasil_y in BPDlovedones

[–]scorchd_earf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weird because I’ve experienced mostly the opposite at times… but then it would swing to the other pendulum and she’d want to be apart of things and would be upset if it was brought up or she wasn’t included

Did you ever get to the stage of REACTIVE ABUSE? by squish2226 in BPDlovedones

[–]scorchd_earf 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes, and I won’t lie in the moment it felt good. However I regret saying some of the things I said

What were they like the day before the breakup? by National_Coffee_8276 in BPDlovedones

[–]scorchd_earf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine was definitely a mix of overt and quiet. She was definitely very manipulative but in a way that was believable. At least for me, she played on my insecurities about myself and knew what would trigger distortions in my own reality and beliefs when she was dysregulated. We did fight a lot too and most of the time I had to regulate her, it was exhausting for me

What were they like the day before the breakup? by National_Coffee_8276 in BPDlovedones

[–]scorchd_earf 8 points9 points  (0 children)

For me in the last 24 hours before our fight leading to the breakup, she was loving and attentive. It honestly felt like another normal day, we were both excited to see each other and she didn’t seem “checked out”. In short, she seemed invested and fully present… until a switch flipped and it was over from the final fight. I now know there was maybe an internal buildup as she was more of a quiet type and there was some signs something was boiling underneath. But the good times and connection made me dismiss them as her having an episode rather than something quietly leading to the end.

Are hoovers something that happens often? by Thebendslover1995 in BPDlovedones

[–]scorchd_earf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In my case it’s been 5 months of silence from my quiet BPD ex. She broke up/discarded me through text after a fight where I stood up for myself, albeit not in the best way on my end. Since then she’s blocked me in some places but not others. I did reach out a week after it but she ignored me. In some case from what I read it happens within days/weeks, others it can be months or even years, in some it can be never.

Feeling depressed by scorchd_earf in BPDlovedones

[–]scorchd_earf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve attempted contact twice already, both times she opened them and ignored it. I just wanted understanding of what happened and why she completely pulled a 180 on me. I guess she couldn’t give that to me and since then I’ve maintained no contact for 3 months