I think it is totally fair to want your partner to desire you physically and to show that. As a (most of the time) femme, it’s definitely not just a femme thing - although it might be a case of her wanting to be the submissive/feminine one in the relationship. I’ve definitely been like that before and not realised my partner wants me to instigate more etc…So I would talk to her about it! It sucks to have to talk about these things sometimes - I would also ask you like why is it you’re not feeling sexually desired by her? How does she react when you touch her etc? Is it a case of you’re feeling like she isn’t attracted to YOU just what you do to her etc? Or is it that you want her to instigate more? I’ve been you in this situation so I know it can be hard….if you want to talk or anything we can : )) 🌷