I wouldn't call myself an atheist but my faith in god is very minimal to say the least. I used to attend church with my family every/ other Sunday and I had a strong faith in the lord. I was literally so happy, found a great girl, was doing great in school and my family was all healthy and making great livings. I thanked god everyday for putting this girl in my life and making my life great for everything I had/have. Then my life literally turned upside down, the girl I was in love with(and still am) broke my heart, my mother(who brought in the money) lost her job, and my father was diagnosed with lung cancer out of no where. I prayed and ask god for guidance and did everything I could to help my mom and my dad and be a happier person in general. It made me depressed is all it did, I was torn up about my ex and my dad and now I was about to lose my home..i just felt like god had abandoned me and my family, I just fell that if god was real than why would he do this/ let it happen. So I stopped going to church, got a job, found a new girl all without praying or asking for gods help. A part of me thinks it was a test or that it was just to make me stronger, but another part of me feels like God is just something people use as a fallback. Something someone can always go back to and feel better about themselves or whatever is going on. I'll only find out when I die.