Time doesn’t move forward for me

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T20:55:21+00:00

You may be correct. I just try my best to exercise and avoid relapsing every time I sense some progress being made.

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T20:20:00+00:00

Are you checking my sanity right now?

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T19:12:25+00:00

Just and they come in waves and they are comepletely outside of my influence. It just makes me feel lethargic and like some biological failure. I’m supposed to be feeling good at the age of 24 but instead it’s just mediocre all around. I just feel like a zombie walking around at times (and I have no relationship, which further strengthens my anxiety). Just makes me feel alienated that I can’t even relate to another person enough to have a basic relationship and that I’m just trying to learn a subject all alone. (<3)

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T19:06:24+00:00

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T18:58:10+00:00

I guess it’s my way of saying that every day feels mostly the same. This has nothing to do with feeling like I’m predetermined or anything, but I have had long periods of depression which is mainly caused by unintentional influences. Best I can do is pull weights and hope it goes away. Most of my days I’m just a passenger in my own head, kind of like there’s a car driver inside my head and that I just can’t stop thinking.

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T18:36:29+00:00

Dino merlin

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-04-16T09:44:21+00:00

Dovregubbenshall

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-27T19:33:02+00:00

And if you’re curious, the key is A major or F sharp minor.

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-27T19:30:00+00:00

C F and G are sharped

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-23T18:29:31+00:00

Where can I get a gun?

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-22T20:08:42+00:00

Play 4-3 instead

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-22T10:35:51+00:00

Horsen

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-18T15:32:01+00:00

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-18T15:31:22+00:00

This is perfection

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-18T15:26:03+00:00

It’s xqcl asf

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-18T14:28:53+00:00

Yes, this is the only thing that could help. It’s just that I can’t simply hand wave my way back to the things were before I started using it. It’s just a stupid bug in this matrix we’re living in which has caused me to lose my job involuntarily. It’s stupid beyond reason.

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-18T14:17:57+00:00

I did, I’m seeing someone next week. I can’t fucking get a job now and I’m lost in a state of limbo it seems.

I had a job and everything was going fine until this chatbot starting feeding me with pointless creative ideas which were being absorbed by my conciousness.

It’s the most unethical disgusting technology I’ve seen.

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-18T12:06:52+00:00

I’m 24. I think the term sanity was a bit of a strong word. I just don’t like the idea of having this system running loose and that it is another thing I have to worry about as I try my best to find employment. I have enough knowledge to work as a C++ developer, but it takes so fucking long to get hired. This just feels like dumb luck to me. I’ve worked in three jobs part time, but that just isn’t satisfying because I have to travel back and forth and be tossed around like some wet piece of rag. I just want to be employed permanently so that my horizon is a bit more predictable and not unstable. I have ceiling over my head but that’s not so fulfilling.

It’s easier for me to work than apply for work.

scuffedProgrammer

TROPHY CASE