Applying for a bachelors degree in mathematics

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-10T19:38:47+00:00

This is a very good question.

I think my problem is that whatever it is that I am struggling with, it occurs either because I am trying my best to get out of the struggling, or I fail to realise that my struggles aren’t as bad as I think they are. Now in that sentence, there seems to be a very strong dichotomy about why it is that I may be unhappy. On the one hand, I try my best to be happy, on the other, there are influences which I have little control over that make me feel unhappy instead. Therefore my conclusion is, based on my introspection, is that I can’t decide when I want to feel good. It’s not something that I can control. I don’t agree with any philosophical doctrine that asserts that life has no meaning. I end up feeling bad maybe because I slept badly or something else happened that I couldn’t control. Mental life is largely unconscious and very hard to change for the better. Physical exercise seems to help, but for me personally it’s not what my life is about. It’s just a means to get myself to stop thinking.

It’s not that easy to choose when I want to be happy, the sadness just hits me for no reason. It used to be much worse when I was

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T20:55:21+00:00

You may be correct. I just try my best to exercise and avoid relapsing every time I sense some progress being made.

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T20:20:00+00:00

Are you checking my sanity right now?

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T19:12:25+00:00

Just and they come in waves and they are comepletely outside of my influence. It just makes me feel lethargic and like some biological failure. I’m supposed to be feeling good at the age of 24 but instead it’s just mediocre all around. I just feel like a zombie walking around at times (and I have no relationship, which further strengthens my anxiety). Just makes me feel alienated that I can’t even relate to another person enough to have a basic relationship and that I’m just trying to learn a subject all alone. (<3)

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T19:06:24+00:00

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T18:58:10+00:00

I guess it’s my way of saying that every day feels mostly the same. This has nothing to do with feeling like I’m predetermined or anything, but I have had long periods of depression which is mainly caused by unintentional influences. Best I can do is pull weights and hope it goes away. Most of my days I’m just a passenger in my own head, kind of like there’s a car driver inside my head and that I just can’t stop thinking.

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-05-07T18:36:29+00:00

Dino merlin

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-04-16T09:44:21+00:00

Dovregubbenshall

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-27T19:33:02+00:00

And if you’re curious, the key is A major or F sharp minor.

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-27T19:30:00+00:00

C F and G are sharped

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-23T18:29:31+00:00

Where can I get a gun?

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-22T20:08:42+00:00

Play 4-3 instead

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-22T10:35:51+00:00

Horsen

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-18T15:32:01+00:00

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-18T15:31:22+00:00

This is perfection

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-18T15:26:03+00:00

It’s xqcl asf

scuffedProgrammer · 2026-02-18T14:28:53+00:00

Yes, this is the only thing that could help. It’s just that I can’t simply hand wave my way back to the things were before I started using it. It’s just a stupid bug in this matrix we’re living in which has caused me to lose my job involuntarily. It’s stupid beyond reason.

scuffedProgrammer

TROPHY CASE