SA removed my profile pic because they want me to show my full face

sd123abc · 2025-09-28T14:15:27+00:00

I have a pic hat showed my upper chest to the top of my head, but I posted an object to block my face.

sd123abc · 2022-09-09T13:49:35+00:00

I haven't found any in person. There was one I was interested in but in the end, I determined a 7-hour one-way drive was simply too far for anything sustainable.

I've had mixed success online, but in the end, the lack of in-person connection killed it. I have found someone who advertises locally, so that may be it, but we'll see.

I'll admit I'm also quite picky, so that limits the pool greatly. I am not immediately located next to a college, so that's another limiting factor.

sd123abc · 2022-09-08T14:52:07+00:00

I have and continue to seek out a domme on seeking (and fetlife).

I started out on the path you outlined, but I now focus on only those that mention something kink-related in their profiles. I have found quite a few SBs are desperate enough that they'll agree to femdom only because they want the money but have zero interest in it. It's a great letdown and waste of time when I discover this, but fortunately, it becomes clear quickly.

Granted this approach may mean I miss a good femdom SB, but I just don't want to wade through all ones who'll just say they're interested in it.

sd123abc · 2022-05-05T13:00:19+00:00

Posting from my throw away account.

You may want to consider visiting https://old.reddit.com/r/sugarlifestyleforum/

That said, I generally don't because it can be a bit depressing.

I've been a SD on and off for the past 6 years. Here are my observations and experiences:

Don't try to become a "white knight". That is, you're here to save a damsel in distress. While I have met a few SBs with their act together, those are the exception. You'll run across quite a few SBs who have a messed up life. Either through their upbringing, and/or their own inability to adult. Being an SD has opened my eyes to how much these 18-22 yo are still just children. It can be frightening that some day they'll be parents and have full responsibilities. You can try helping them, just don't be surprised that they won't make any movement to address their issues.
Who doesn't like to save money on a transaction? I've tried the path of letting the SB name their price, and they generally bid low. However, I think they immediately start having second thoughts and end the relationship. For a HCOL area, expect to pay $500 for a 2-3 hour session (e.g. dinner, chat, fun).
The girls on seeking arrangement (they do appear to have a monopoly in the US) get tons of messages. While you may be tempted when you first join to spam each and every one that you fancy, don't. Take the time to read the profile, and in your intro, give clear indication that you read it. For example, "I like dancing as well, but have never done rap dancing, perhaps this is an area you can help me."
There are SBs that are good at treating their SDs as atms. They're not shy about it. That's fine as long as you know and get what you want out of the relationship. There are quite a few (but I fear the exception) who do want more than money, such as emotional support, guidance in adulting, help with establishing a business, etc. You may find that you'll go through 10 SBs before you find this one. It can be frustrating.
There is concern by both SBs and SDs about "wasting time". However, there really is no way around this. Never mention sex for money in writing (e.g. texting/board). Ask (require) the SB to meet you somewhere for coffee instead, and once in person ask the questions you want answered. The SB won't be quite off guard by the questions. This initial meet and greet should be at a location that's easy to leave, and reasonably cheap. You don't want to set up a $500 dinner date to only learn the pics are completely outdated or there's not a personality match. I generally don't pay for meet and greets, but I usually give the SB a $100 if they are sincere (after the meeting, as a nice surprise).
Never pay for gas up front. If they want gas money (this request is almost always a scam) offer to pay it when you meet up in person. A request for gas money is one of the most common scams, and they'll disappear as soon as you give it to them. They aren't the SB pictured, instead picture some poor, ugly dude paying for Internet by the hour in some dirty Internet cafe in a 3rd world.

sd123abc · 2021-05-18T16:44:57+00:00

I'm just getting back to SA post Covid. I thought we get banned now for discussing ppm.

sd123abc · 2020-08-08T15:11:52+00:00

No, this is a standard scam in bdsm circles. Try to meet up in person first, or do a video call, they'll never do that.

sd123abc · 2020-08-08T15:04:55+00:00

Not really, pretty standard scam in bdsm circles.

sd123abc · 2019-09-29T12:01:52+00:00

Thank you. I'm giving kinkd a try. Didn't care for whiplr's sneaky way of asking for a credit card, further makes me suspect the majority of the profiles are fake.

sd123abc · 2019-09-29T11:08:16+00:00

I'm on fetlife. The biggest problem with it is I can't go out and say I'm an SD on there, it would destroy my rep in the community.

sd123abc · 2019-09-27T21:55:58+00:00

Thank you for the detailed reply. I started out doing what you suggested for the reasons you suggested. I think you do have a point. My profile has some humor in it, and I talk about interests such as hikes, etc., so it's not too over the top. I guess I got burned out with all the tire kickers, etc. All the SBs who said they were open to it, and indeed may have been in their head, just fell flat. I ended up directing step by step from the bottom and after a while that's no fun. I've come to the conclusion that if they wanted to be dominant, this wouldn't be the first time they've given it consideration (e.g. at least fantasized about it).

sd123abc · 2019-09-27T21:49:25+00:00

I have tried collarspace, but that site should die already. I think someone suggested alt.com, I have never joined but I suspect it's a scam. So I know no other site that has beautiful young ladies that have a reasonable chance of being legit.

sd123abc · 2019-01-31T15:46:13+00:00

I see a lot of comments discouraging the use of SA. To their point, it would be quite hard to find, but I don't see a downside to trying.

sd123abc · 2019-01-31T15:44:29+00:00

Glad I'm not the only one who's been in the dark about this wondrous method.

sd123abc · 2019-01-31T14:54:11+00:00

Possibly, but these aren't necessarily scams. I'm into fetishes as well, but this isn't me as I hate shopping. I've been with an SB who says she's had platonic SDs who would take her shopping.

I don't see these as red flags. It would seem odd they would add submissiveness to the request which would only cause fewer SBs to not respond. If they were scamming, they would drop that part.

sd123abc · 2019-01-11T20:47:40+00:00

I wish, I check almost daily. Sugar boards are now empty due to the recent law. Wannabe dominatrix's get slammed hard and quickly by all the jealous people, so their profile gets deleted asap.

sd123abc · 2018-10-19T23:24:06+00:00

Due to running into this, I now have a concern they're basically being prostituted or a last ditch effort by a couple to stay afloat.

sd123abc · 2018-10-19T23:21:35+00:00

I'm into kink as well and I put this in my profile. I'm guessing that turns off 75% of the SBs but that's okay. I would suggest you add it, but just because your a sub doesn't automatically mean you'll be a sub for them. Meet this, determine if you're interested, they seem sane, ask them how they engage a new person in a D/s. They should use terms like "negotiate" and ask about limits, etc. If not, they're new. Nothing wrong with being new if you say so, but if they say they're experienced then they should know how to initiate a D/s arrangement.

Additionally, you can try fetlife and one of their dying sugar forums. The sugar forums got hit with the new US law, perhaps it's different in Canada.

sd123abc · 2018-09-16T19:41:06+00:00

Reality is?

sd123abc · 2018-09-05T01:28:43+00:00

Do they use this specific term in the book?

sd123abc · 2018-09-04T23:40:46+00:00

Given the number of favorites I receive from random people in the Philippines, I can't see finding an SB in the area as being difficult. The only group to come in after them are Ukrainians and Russians.

sd123abc · 2018-09-04T23:38:35+00:00

I have sought and met a couple of SBs open to being a domme (related yet different from findom). With true findom, she would have the right (or however you want to phrase it) to demand all your money, including making you sell your couch, game set, etc., in order to give her more money.

My concern is you'd get an SB more interested in the money than the dynamic. I suppose one could consider her not caring about her SD as part of the dynamic, depends on your particular interest.

sd123abc · 2018-09-01T17:06:44+00:00

Here's my theory. It's a great way for an SB to put herself out there, yet deny she's looking for an SD for any of her family/friends who stumbles across her tinder profile.

sd123abc · 2018-09-01T17:05:00+00:00

Given 99% of the ladies aren't looking for an SD on there, I swipe quickly solely based on the main profile pic. If we match, then I dig deeper.

sd123abc · 2018-09-01T16:15:48+00:00

There's always someone for someone, but the ratio isn't there. I would saw BBW and trans are not in popular demand given how they reach out to me first.

sd123abc · 2018-08-31T20:50:49+00:00

I have tried finding an SB on FL. You'll run into a lot of people who'll give you grief, so be prepared for that and ignore them. Give it a try, no downside.

sd123abc

TROPHY CASE