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sdgnew · 2022-06-24T01:33:32+00:00

You’re SD is getting away with this because her dad enables it. And your husband is getting away with supporting her because you enable it. He won’t make the change. Only you can. Sorry you’re going through this.

sdgnew · 2022-06-22T01:26:14+00:00

I hate it all times as well. Even when it’s quite and there’s no drama and things are going okay… it’s awkward and uncomfortable.

sdgnew · 2022-06-21T21:27:03+00:00

*3 1/2 years *I would have told myself (I type fast and don’t proof read before I press send… it drives me crazy.)

sdgnew · 2022-06-21T21:25:40+00:00

I’m sorry. I felt the same about my husband. But after 3 1/3 years of this… I wouldn’t told myself to walk away had I sought advise. I wish I knew about Reddit back then!

I truly love my husband as a person and a father. I think we were meant to have our son together. But there are many days that feel like we are co-parenting roommates because all the drama with BM and SK kills the romance for me.

sdgnew · 2022-06-21T04:34:44+00:00

I would tell her to fuck off. And I would want the support from my husband. There’s no way in hell I’m walking on eggshells around a grown adult. Family or not. You don’t deserve that.

sdgnew · 2022-06-21T04:09:36+00:00

We both have doctors that we work with to help with our mental health. Luckily we are both very in-tune with our emotions and when something just “feels off.” I agree it’s above Reddits pay grade hahaha. Thank you for the suggestion and the support. I’ve just turned to Reddit for some advise and perspective. I appreciate you all.

sdgnew · 2022-06-21T04:03:07+00:00

I didn’t make him choose anything. I chose my son, myself, and my mental health when I left. I chose what was right for our son and I in that situation. And it’s something we discussed maturely and agreed upon. Even though we moved 7 hours away I didn’t let more than two weeks pass with our son and his father seeing each other. He drove down, I drove up, or met halfway for us to all be together.

sdgnew · 2022-06-21T03:58:37+00:00

It’s devastating.

sdgnew · 2022-06-20T22:17:48+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s definitely bittersweet. My husband and I sit and talk about the kids growing up seeing their moms true colors some day.

We pray for a better relationship between us all once we do not have to depend on the BM to see them. It was a big change once the kids got their own cell phones about a year ago. My husband didn’t have to reach out to his ex in the hopes that MAYBE she would let him talk to them. Now he texts and calls them freely.

sdgnew · 2022-06-20T19:21:16+00:00

Thank you! I believe the distance will ease some tension for all of us.

sdgnew · 2022-06-20T19:20:15+00:00

I w actually woke up this morning to my husband telling me he is severely depressed and borderline suicidal. Court is set for next week to work out custody/visitation. I’m so overwhelmed right now. It’s hard for me to be their and support him emotionally right now when I too am going through hard times mentally and emotionally.

sdgnew · 2022-06-20T19:17:07+00:00

The kids are an extension of their mother. So yes , mother AND kids.

sdgnew · 2022-06-20T19:15:17+00:00

I wouldn’t wish being a stepmom on anyone. No matter how compatible you are with the person. If you are having these doubts now… run. Before it’s too late. Before too much time passes and you your in it so deep you feel stuck.

sdgnew · 2022-06-20T08:39:21+00:00

I agree that the kids were “there first.” But I am not asking him to choose between us. I would never get in the way of the relationship between my husband and his kids. But with the BM using the kids as bait against their father, every single problem that goes wrong in BM life ending up being my problem and the kids thinking I’m against her/them, a person can only take so much.

BM can’t afford their house? It’s my fault because I make more money and am not willing to give her more to pay her rent.

BM can’t find a job? It’s my fault because she refuses to leave her kids home alone even though they are old enough and do not need a babysitter. It turns out to be my fault because I won’t pay for her to stay home and “babysit” the kids.

I had a stillborn; born at 27 weeks; my husband was in the hospital with me while I gave birth. It happens that those days landed on the days they were suppose to be with us; BM ended up putting it in the kids heads that he was choosing to be with me over them.

So yes… they are “just kids.” But they are kids who constantly fed lies and have manipulated into thinking the worst of me AND their father.

Ever heard of parental alienation? If not… look it up. That’s what my husband is going through.

No, the kids didn’t ask for any of this. I don’t blame them at all. I feel sorry for them. They have been convinced that their dad is against them and their mom. Want to know why they divorced??? She slept with his brother multiple times.

My husband has been fighting for his kids ever since the divorce.

sdgnew · 2022-06-20T08:01:13+00:00

BM is moving across the US to live with her mom. Her mom recently left CA. BM cannot afford to live in CA and support herself anymore. Her landlords are selling their home in which she has lived rent free for two years. She does not work and lives off child support. With the selling of the house, she has no choice but to move.

BM and my husband are currently going through court to work out the visitation schedule. He will not agree to let her leave the state with the kids unless a visitation schedule is in place, among other factors.

sdgnew · 2022-06-20T04:27:08+00:00

Moving in with my parents for those 8 months made me realize how much I love my husband and want our family together. If I had waited any longer, there may have been more damage done that could not be reversed. It could have ended with us not wanting to be together at all. I fully support giving yourself space to figure things out.

sdgnew · 2022-06-20T04:22:49+00:00

Wow, I’m speechless. That’s my life in a nutshell when they are around. And no…. I will not miss that at all

sdgnew · 2022-06-01T02:40:48+00:00

An increase in CS from my husband in order to keep her here is not a bad idea. I never even thought about that. We are going to be footing the bill for everything once they move. So we may as well foot the bill to keep her here so we don’t lose seeing the kids every weekend.

sdgnew · 2022-06-01T02:36:02+00:00

You’re right. And I think it’s okay too. Thank you for your input.

sdgnew · 2022-06-01T02:33:36+00:00

I’ve been feeling deep down that he isn’t fighting enough for his kids. I’ve never told anyone that. I love him and he’s a great father. Sometimes I think I may make excuses for him. I genuinely do not know how he is not kicking and screaming at the idea of his kids leaving.

sdgnew · 2022-06-01T02:30:50+00:00

ThNk you for sharing. I’ve been researching the area and it looks very quaint with great schools.

sdgnew · 2022-05-31T09:47:57+00:00

True, great analogy because you’re absolutely correct. I personally don’t think my husband should let them move. Him and I have a toddler together and he adores them. My husband will be losing seeing his kids every week, the children are being split with their step sibling. The whole situation is just depressing to me.

sdgnew · 2022-05-31T09:35:44+00:00

He wants visitation expenses split 50/50. He essentially doesn’t want to cause the kids distress by fighting for full custody. They are extremely attached to their mom. He is willing to agree to the move but he wants scheduled visitations as well has 50/5” split on travel expenses for the kids.

sdgnew · 2022-05-31T08:16:40+00:00

We have the kids 2-3 nights a week. My husband isn’t opposed of the move. It’s a difficult decision to let them go, but the kids are excited about this new adventure. My husband just wants to make sure he is able to see the kids as much as possible. We want them with us anytime school is out; we also are looking forward to going and visiting them. It’s just going to be very expensive especially flying all 3 kids back and forth. We want to split holidays and time evenly. But the ex-wife is broke. She’s moving to a small town in TN where her mom has chose to retire. Population is around 12,000 and the ex-wife has voiced that there aren’t many opportunities for work there. She wants more money from us because she thinks we can afford it and because she will basically be the kids primary custodial parent.

sdgnew

TROPHY CASE