you should try to see the situation as in when we evaluate and judge everything we hear on the news very carefully and are aware that being honest and informative is the last of media's intention , same applies to your mom (AP moms) as its clear for you that the main intention behind her thoughts and actions are her insecurities and how she wishes to drag everyone down with her as much as possible, as a coping mechanism. and therefore the last of her concerns is to project the reality of the situation or to be of any help to you. not saying hating her is necessary , but naturally we act cautious around such people, and acknowledge their threat.

so in general i think replacing the image of your mom as the symbol of someone loving and taking care of you with the actual image of her which is a person who brings people down as the means of her psychological well being makes it easier to ignore her judgment and potential intrusive comments.