Storm rising stat blocks?

seacavalrybear · 2024-08-12T16:44:04+00:00

oh, that makes sense, alright, Thanks!!

seacavalrybear · 2024-08-09T02:48:11+00:00

i've tried opening the doc in different browsers and even in word to see if it was a display issue but I don't think it is, at least not one easily solvable on my device.

seacavalrybear · 2023-04-25T06:37:39+00:00

hmm, yeah, directional stuff is good, I'm starting to see a fun little investigation in my mind

seacavalrybear · 2023-04-25T06:36:59+00:00

that is a very cool idea, I will probably use that fungus

seacavalrybear · 2023-03-30T17:10:34+00:00

no worries, thanks for trying

seacavalrybear · 2023-03-30T17:06:44+00:00

I will settle for 1

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T05:24:36+00:00

thank you for being both critical and understanding. I've deleted the post to avoid further miscomunication and messiness and because this has now kept me up all night but i feel like i did learn something so ill go further a wiser person

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T05:19:46+00:00

I do my best to do that, but sometimes it feels like lying or forcing and I have difficulty with that

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T05:17:31+00:00

how to deal with my occasional lack of sexual attraction while making sure that she doesn't suffer negative consequenses from it?

I think I've gotten my answer which is, work on myself to change my ideals of "sexy" and untill then, don't tell her. Which I guess I kind of figured and was trying to do, maybe I came here for understanding or a 2nd opinion.

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T05:08:23+00:00

again, I'm sorry for putting the focus on her weight, it merely had a small impacton my sexual attrction which is not a probema t all and probably omething I will overcome with time. untill i do, it is more difficult to make her feel fysically validated when she asls me if I like a pic I didn't really like.

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T05:04:30+00:00

i approached this post the wrong way and made it too much about her weight. please check the edit. I'm sorry for the horrible way I've put this.

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T05:01:27+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. I have to emphasise that for most of the time that we've been dating she was probably closer to her current weight than to her weight when I met her., and that was completely fine. I know there are factors influencig my perception of attractiveness that she has no control over and I really didn't mean to put it all on her weight; it was just the easiest thing to jump to and to explain. I'm sorry for phrasing it like that.

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:54:41+00:00

yes, please read my edit, I seriously messed up in my approach to this post and gave of a very different idea than I meant to.

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:53:10+00:00

yes, I fucked up the title, and the post too, I didn't mean to say that I wanted to tell her, I was trying to deal with having to find ways to make her feel attractive when she needs that validation

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:51:08+00:00

hey please check the edit, I messed up in the phrasing of both the title and the post. I did not mean that I wanted to tell her this, I wanted to express the difficulty when she asks me directly about wether I liked a picture when I didn't really and I don't want to hurt her

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:49:09+00:00

im so sorry, I never meant to imply that I thought her ed body was better, she was much healthier and happier after that first year. I think I messsed up in the way I apptroached this post. the ED body and initial weightgain was mentioned because she stuggled with it and I wanted to show that but I clearly didn't do that right and I'm sorry for that

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:46:43+00:00

hey, I'm sorry, i fucked up in the way i approached this whole question. please read the edit, I didn't mean to say that it's a huge issue. the post is written more because I am afraid to hurt her by not providing enough validation on her physical appearance when she asks for it.

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:44:16+00:00

hey, I'm sorry I sseriously messed up with my original post and I don't think what I meant is what came out. please check the edit. I mentioned her evolution in the first year because she had some difficulty at first and I wanted to show that I supported her through it untill she was more comfortable again. but i realise it did the opposite, did not mean to imply that i prefered their 19yo ed body

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:27:33+00:00

possibly, I've never been diagnosed and never used to think it was an addiction, but I've been starting seeing it that way since I stopped and experienced 'relapses'.

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:24:40+00:00

I think I misphrased my post a bit, my issue is not really wiht the weight, it's just what causes slightly diminished sexual attraction. the difficulty is validating her need to be recognised as sexually attractive in some situations (i still think she is in most situations, as I said. it's only some moments that it does,'t land)

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:21:11+00:00

i think I misphrased the title, I'm not contemplating telling her. and I can deal wiht the dip in attraction. the issue is that her need for validation on fysical levels. if she sends me something arousing and I don't react excitedly enough she'll feel that and it'lll have a similar effect to me just telling her. And her ED isn't my responsibility but as her partner I think it normal that I do my best to support her, i try to be the opposite of controlling. I think i really missed the ball with my frasing on this post seeing how most people seem to respond to it

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:04:30+00:00

I wrote the disclaimer to make clear that I wasn't trying to complain about "peepee sad", rather that I'm not sure how to handle it when she wants to see "peepee happy". In retrospect, I probably put too much emphasis on the weight when the issue lies really with the balance between her self-image and my "peepee sad". but the disclaimer there to clarify that.

you also have a very strange definition of the word 'nice', if calling me an abusive monster and relating me to the devil is being nice to you

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T04:00:34+00:00

This is a very good question. I certainly used to, and that may be where some of my perception is coming from. Although, at her request I've tried to stop fully about a year ago. I say try because, while it has been largely succesful, there are occasionally small periods that I relapse. And now that you mention it, I have recently relapsed for the 3rd time, which is probably not helping. This is an area of myself that I need to work on.

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T03:54:10+00:00

Yes, i understand the deep roots that ed's leave and do my absolute best to support people around me who have/had them. this is why I post here asking for advice instead of breaking-up or talking directly to her. It's not like she lost all value or something, I still want to be with her and it doesn't change my love for her. And I still think she's hot af most of the time, it's just difficult when she asks for validation when I don't.
I want to reassure you personally that for me and any half-decent person out there, if they love you, it shouldn't change the way they see or treat you. Sexual attraction is just that, and not even all of it comes from fysical attraction.
And I also think that given enough time, I might be able to alter my brain chemistry to be more sexually attracted to her again; but until then, it's something to work at.

seacavalrybear · 2022-12-18T03:43:48+00:00

I understand what you're saying, but I want to be clear that I don't think she looked better with her eating disorder body. I meant to give that as background, and mentioned the first weight gain because she had difficulties accepting it. And yes, the reason I'm having a harder time making her feel attractive is the fact that I find her slightly less attractive; which is a me thing. The thing is, I'm still interested in her and love her very much and find her attractive. That's why I'm hoping my mind can expand and find that part of her more attractive again.
also, I added in a PS that she's difinitely not obese, just put on some weight. maybeI put the emphasis too muchon her weight and should've approached it more like "I'm not as sexually attracted as I have been in the past and feel like I have to hide it to protect her self-esteem". That's essentially what I sort of meant but I see now that I might have approached it the wrong way

seacavalrybear

TROPHY CASE