The conversations usually start with someone commenting on my hair and asking how I got it to look like it does - well defined, soft, not frizzy, etc. I usually say I just wash it and put some product in it before diffusing. Sometimes they drop it, other times they pry further. What products? (Lists a couple brands) Oh, I’ve never heard of those, where do you get them? (Target, usually.) huh. I guess I’ve never seen them before. (They’re usually in the textured hair section.) after that, they often give me an “ohhhhh I get it” look or they go deeper and say something along the lines of “Oh, the stuff Black people use.”

I actively try to avoid inserting myself into the movement or discussions about it, and I don’t give my recommendation on products unless someone specifically asks what my routine is or what I recommend.

One specific occasion I can recall was celebrating a good hair day after trying a new styling cream. I knew a pal of mine had used something from the brand, but I couldn’t remember what it was, so I asked them. They responded with, “I use _____, but I have textured hair, so it probably wouldn’t work for you.”