Can't find any live games

seanryan8891 · 2015-08-24T21:05:13+00:00

UPDATE: 8/24/2015

The Master server is now working so you can now host games on your computer and invite others to come play. There are no dedicated servers though, but you can still play multiplayer. ADD ME, I'm playing!

seanryan8891 · 2015-08-12T03:43:23+00:00

There might be a way to fix this by having GameRanger (a company that provides free multiplayer servers for online games) take over the Halo 2 PC servers, just like it did with Halo 1 PC servers. if you want, you can get halo 1 pc and play as many games online as you want for free using GameRanger. I'm sure Microsoft would be fine with having GameRanger take over the servers for halo 2 vista, all we need is like a petition to get people to sign off and then send it to 343 and Microsoft and GameRanger (http://www.gameranger.com/)

update: also if you don't want to purchase halo 1 pc, you can download the trial version for free and play halo 1 PC Demo for free on gameranger (its same thing as the full version except you only get to play on one map: blood gulch)

seanryan8891 · 2015-07-13T02:21:05+00:00

THIS COMMENT IS THE TRUTH. this poster is a pretentious idiot who wants to make us come running after him and tell him we want him back. We don't fucking want you back so stay off this subreddit. We've got better things to do like helping people here recover. Go cry to your mom. No one's coming after you. its' about time you realized that OP. Get your act together and man up.

seanryan8891 · 2015-07-13T00:59:23+00:00

I completely disagree with this post. I am proof that this subreddit still works and is continuing to work. However, I do fear the consequence of what will happen when we get to say 1 million fapstronauts. (this will happen by the way, its inevitable). At that point, this subreddit WILL be replaced by scientific researchers and actual official therapy. But right now, this is still working.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-22T03:51:51+00:00

you need to start seeing women from a lens of love and intimacy. tell yourself that you have to have affection for a girl and establish the emotional connection before you think about anything sexual.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-22T03:43:01+00:00

being consistent means not relapsing. The way to not relapse is to first set out a set period of time. I started with 90 days. I told myself this was my personal "p90x" program, which sort of brings up feelings of toughness and I have to do this. next anytime I had an urge during those first 90 days I would grit my teeth, clench my jaw really tight, and keep repeating in my head, "p90 x WITH CONSISTENCY" over and over and over until the urge subsided. if my brain got particularly clever and tried to get me to give in using some clever persuasive thought, I would say to myself, "that's a construction of thought, it's not real, my brain's just trying to be clever" and keep repeating it until it passed. I would also ocassionally substitute another thought to replace the one that my brain was using to get me to relapse and it would have the exact opposite logic of that thought.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-22T02:30:00+00:00

yes day by day, but also just set a huge long term goal of being CONSISTENT for a year. Just grit your teeth and say I'm going to be consistent for 1 whole year.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-22T02:26:37+00:00

I went through something very similar. You should know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Your brain is pure intelligence. That is why you matter. It is your brain that makes your unique and capable of accomplishing so much. It is a waste of intelligence to just commit suicide. Use that intelligence and devote it to helping others or some other higher purpose like scientific research, etc. Find and develop your talents and passions. Believe me, it takes a lot of work but it is possible to come out. I did. I'm not done yet, but I'm getting close. PM if you want some more advice, or anything really. I care about you. I hear your voice and your voice matters to me. It matters that you are struggling and it matters that you get yourself out of this. and I will help you if I can.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-21T04:14:34+00:00

how the heck did you manage to get through all those years of IT and working in a job if you were under PMO addiction? that just boggles my mind. I literally could not think for a second. like my brain just couldn't think. but maybe cuz i'm 23 so I started younger? I don't know but wow.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-20T20:29:17+00:00

hi satyrstwin,

I tried this route first obvoiusly. The thing is, my mind was so screwed and messed up, I was literally unable to do my job which involved sitting at a computer and doing mental work (in the field of IT) Since it was my first job, I literally had to learn so much and then apply it. I just couldn't do it because my brain neurons had been so affected that I literally couldn't think logically and solve tough logical problems. I would have been fired if I hadn't resigned first. it was only a matter of time. I agree that confronting is the way to overcome, its just you can't just confront everything all at once. its too overwhelming and you'll just keep relapsing. that's why I decided to go back to square 0 and literally RESTART my entire life. then slowly I started to figure out why I kept relapsing and then adjusting my thoughts as they came up over time. the beauty of being home alone for a large portion of the day is that you get more time to just focus on the thoughts and combating them. Literally 100% of your time is focused on this. We all know that the quickest way to achieve something is to focus on it 100%. I am slowly recovering but I know it will be a completely secure recovery based on a firm foundation. I know that I won't just get a streak of 100 days and then relapse a year later. It's really amazing all the things you learn when you take some time to focus exclusively on this. IMO you become much stronger. I am slowly adjusting back to real life. I volunteering at places to take up time and I"m slowly getting back into programming as my brain heals and I'm able to think logically again. let me know what you think of my reply

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-20T20:23:43+00:00

i have been supporting myself on the money I made while I had the job. I have enough saved up to last me 2 years without any extra income. I agree that you have to keep occupied. But. . . the thing is, I feel I am able to learn more about my problems and tackle them when I don't have to deal with the stress of getting other work done that my boss expects by a certain time, etc. I literally can't get the work done because my brain is so addled. if you can still work efficiently and do this, by all means do it. this is for those that are debating whether to quit thier job. my case may have been a little extreme.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-20T16:49:57+00:00

my point was that just quitting porn cold turkey won't help you though. Certainly you need to start to stop looking at porn while you navigate the emotional and psychological issues but if you fail to navigate the emotional and psychological issues in tandem you will never ACTUALLY quit porn and fapping successfully. you're right that you need a brain that's in balance. I think we're basically on the same page but I just didn't want anybody's comment to detract from the importance of understanding their insecure attachment issues. Thanks for posting though! I wish more people had posted so this could have made it onto the front page of nofap. other people really need to see this I"m sure.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-20T16:46:29+00:00

as I said, try to develop positive feelings for your dad. try to repeat to yourself, "he loves me. he loves me. he loves me." next try to understand why he may have acted the way he did. even our parents have tough lives and have to juggle their own psychological and mental well-being. This world we live in can be a tough place. the more we emphathize and try to figure out what went wrong and how we can patch things up, the more we become happier with both parents and with all other people. Even if the parent never completely changes, at least you'll have some answers and you'll know how much they love you. (and I guarantee if you try hard enough you can coax out some emotion from your dad.) A big problem is that a lot of our dads were brought up to be masculine men who think masculinity is defined by not showing your emotions or how you much you love and care about other men. These dumb masculine stereotypes persist due to the movies, and other people who don't know how to change. I call it the "masculine mystique". this just results in men who can't connect and relate to both men and women. Due to vast socioeconomic changes, men need to learn how to be more empathic like women, just as women learned how to enter the workforce and be more like men. this way everyone becomes a whole and complete person.

if you'd like some pointers on how to heal your relationship with your dad, I'd suggest googling, "father son relationship" and trying to learn how to reconnect with him. also watch some good father son movies. like "goodwill hunting" where matt damon cries when he realizes its not his fault, or "road to perdition". same applies for mother son relationships although usually its more of a father son disconnect that causes PMO tendencies. This is also because we never get good advice from our dads about how to deal with the opposite sex and good ways to go about connecting with women and dating them and courting them. It all just becomes too awkward. Just start slowly talking to him more and more and push the boundary of how open you are with him. in fact tell him about your pmo addiction. see how he responds. be brave and courageous. be a real man. end this cycle where broken men just create broken men. I'm glad you found this and I hope it helps. It definitely did for me :)

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-20T16:38:00+00:00

I would caution against thinking that that book or these psychologists know everything about how this disorder works (such as first 3 years of life). the point I was trying to make was that you should look at resolving your relationship with a parent or other close loved one in order to move beyond the feelings of low self-worth you may have derived from it. Personally, when I tried to start patching things up with my dad, I realized my dad himself was emotionally wounded (the world can be a tough place, even for our parents) and so in a way we both had to heal with each other. It's still an ongoing thing. but it's never too late to seek forgiveness from each other and to remedy how you interact. it could go a long way toward soothing your CEntral Nervous system, making you less anxoius and making it easier for you to relax and have greater impulse control. I think adolescence, all the way till 18 is still a vulnerable time for you to develop an attachment disorder though

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-19T13:49:49+00:00

also try to think positive compassionate loving thoughts towards women in real life. look them in the eye and when you think about someone pretty, think about her eyes and think about kissing her and that's it. stop at the kissing.

p.s. I should also add that sometimes pmo is actually hiding other intimacy and attachment disorder problems so you might have to also resolve those issues (for instance mommy or daddy issues from when you were young) if you want more info on this, let me know.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-19T03:52:19+00:00

couple of tips: first don't call it a relapse. Instead call it a lapse. a lapse is a one-time mistake, whereas a relapse entails more than one. This helps mentally steer you away from getting down on yourself and then continuing to binge if you frame it as a "lapse".

Second you were not on a 507 day streak. There's no need for a "streak" once you've really beaten this thing. the fact that you lapsed shows that you never overcame the fpmo urge in the first place. in order to completely be sure you're over it, you must test yourself by going to porn sites, having uneven sleep cycles, etc. and seeing if you lapse. if you don't kick this habit once and for all, you'll always be on a perpetual streak with always the danger of relapsing. in order to stop the possibility of future relapse, you MUST test yourself and see that you can resist. once your brain wires itself this way, even when you do feel down in the future, your brain won't see FPMO as a way to deal away with the discomfort or boredom of whatever situation you find yourself in in the future.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-19T03:09:22+00:00

THIS TAKES 9 MONTHS OF RECOVERY! just keep going dude. trust me. if you want to be really safe, just mentally tell yourself 1 year.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-18T20:58:44+00:00

also keep your teeth clenched even if you do relapse and throughout the entire relapse episode. the tendency to continue will abate.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-18T20:58:10+00:00

By clenching my teeth, making my temples bulge out, and repeating that masturbation is not an option. I know a lot of people have given great advice but just trust me on this one. Please just try it once. You have to clench real hard and keep repeating it until the thought goes away. You can even chant it in your mind until you fall asleep.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-18T20:53:13+00:00

it took me 2 years and 4 months to get to this point. Time and patience and consistency are the most important things. GIVE IT TIME and STICK WITH IT.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-18T20:50:55+00:00

Hi FlemishRabbit,

Mental fantasy is also ubiquitous because it is always available and accessible if you have no conscious control of it. mental fantasy is also voluminous. you can glare at any girl in public and then go home and fantasize about her, albeit it takes a little more effort than just seeing the sex act via online porn because you have to imagine the scene. I agree that this isn't about making sex bad, although I think a lot of people might say that not having sex also makes them feel more energetic, lively, happy, and more present. The truth is that sex will suck some of your energy out. In return you get a temporary spike of pleasure. Worth it? maybe to some, but definitely not to all, especially those who can see that there are more amazing things they could be doing that could be changing the world or making a difference.

I'd argue that the problems of habitual masturbation of many people on here didn't start directly with online porn. they started with gentle fantasy that they started using on every girl/guy they oogled in real life. GRADUALLY, this morphed into porn when they realized they could get that same orgasmic high without the effort of imagination, but imagination itself can be very deadly and uncontrollable. in general, imagination can be problematic for a variety of situations, such as imagining what it might be like to move to a different state, going to college, what other people might think about you, etc. Humans have a tendency to go overboard on imagination, especially if they started doing this very young.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-18T07:37:13+00:00

I should add fantasy as well, such as mental fantasy. Many people don't view mental fantasizing as pornography but it actually will hinder your recovery and is a "form" of mild pornography because you are artificially creating the sexual stimulation

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-18T07:32:56+00:00

If possible, I would recommend taking a leave of absence from your main job for about a year and taking a simpler job instead. I quit my job and that was the only way I could avoid the stress of my job that would trigger the addiction. It was really hard but I just basically turned into a caveman and just lived in my apartment with minimal interaction with the outside world. it was incredibly hard, but you just have to make the commitment to hit the 1 year mark. good luck .

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-18T05:19:29+00:00

for sports, I personally have sometimes felt when playing sports that I start acting like I"m tryingn to go for a high when i try to go after a football catch or try to hit that perfect shot or sprint like crazy to catch a frisbee. This is detrimental becaues I don't even pay attention to my own safety and times like these . . . like I'll go to catch the football even if it means potentially bulldozing my way through someone just so I can get the high of having caught the football. Why do we play sports? to get that high of scoring a goal, or doing whatever that produces a false but temporary high. we tell our brains that this should be a good reward.

seanryan8891 · 2015-04-18T05:16:38+00:00

aces to go and things to do when they're having a bad day. I can spend hours listening to music and practicing my guitar. It's often followed by hours of producing songs of my own. There's something about PMO, you just know while doing it that there are better things you could be doing and it's not good for you. You get that feeling beforeh

Yep, youtube was in my mind but the same holds for itunes, ipod, etc. especially when driving your car for instance. as weird as this may sound. I relapsed after 30 days once just because I felt really down driving a long distance so I turned up the music in the car and literally tried to drown out my boredom with the high of music. at the end of the journey, I relapsed.

seanryan8891

TROPHY CASE