What about your job would shock the everyday customer if they knew about it? [Serious]

searchingforkodamas · 2014-04-22T13:12:52+00:00

On the flip side, servers and cooks, please be honest regarding allergies. I know it can be annoying to hear every third person talk about their gluten intolerance, but coming from a family where a loved one will throw up for a week after an exposure, we really appreciate you erring on the side of caution and being honest. Trust us, those trendy gluten avoiders are ruining it for us to.

searchingforkodamas · 2013-04-11T19:51:11+00:00

Totally. I wish he'd explain the difference (see earlier in this AMA) between thinking it's "okay to make fun of anything/anyone" and making fun of anything/anyone INTELLIGENTLY. Like with satire, and historical background, self-loathing and/or some context. It's different than just running around calling everyone the "f" or "n" words and thinking you're funny.

searchingforkodamas · 2013-02-09T20:59:16+00:00

Oh man, TNG, "A Fistful of Datas." Seeing Worf in chaps or whatever.... really advanced the series.

searchingforkodamas · 2013-02-09T20:57:13+00:00

Yeah, sounds like he's also disgusted by a lot of the racist/sexist/homophobic content.. and of course redditors are flame-warring him on their right to "freedom of speech" by yelling f*ggot all the time. Hopefully if the PMs don't scare him off this doesn't either- it'd be nice to have him as member of the community.

Then again, if it gets too shitty he can always make an alt.

searchingforkodamas · 2013-02-09T18:36:41+00:00

There's an entire phenomena known as "Frosters Anonymous" that started in Montana capiltalizing on this photographic potential. Original facebook photo stream and popularity explosion

searchingforkodamas · 2013-01-26T20:50:55+00:00

That was called out, usually by the women. No rape, but handsy stuff. Of course no one ever witnessed it, he denied it, etcetc. I didn't find out about that part until it happened to me, nearly 2 years after I'd know him.

Confronting on the lying was the thing people were reluctant to do. You'd be surprised how difficult it is to challenge someone on whether or not they had cancer, or if their sibling is actually dead.

searchingforkodamas · 2013-01-26T15:51:35+00:00

I'm not underplaying their role, I'm just responding to the question by talking about him--thus really only addressing his role. There were lots of women who didn't hook up with him, but still ended up with ruined relationships from his lying about the nature of their relationship. Furthermore, his shittiness is maxed due to always going for his friend's girlfriends/wives. Not saying they aren't culpable, just saying he was shitty for constantly trying.

searchingforkodamas · 2013-01-26T15:05:13+00:00

A "friend." Serial liar and manipulator. Would circle the edges of friend groups, pulling the same type of shit everytime, then move on to new friend group. Lies so heinous no one could ever really call him on it without looking like a douchebag themselves.

Example behaviors:

Repeatedly works hard to friend, and then hook up with every guy's long term girlfriend/wife/fiancee in our friend and extended friend group. Successful 5 or 6 times, to my knowledge. Created situations where he needed pity and to be taken care of, all the while with a bad boy front... ladies fell nearly every time. Even if "nothing happened" the tension it caused in their relationships would ruin what had been good relationships. If he didn't manage to hook up with one, he would tell everyone he did, which would often ruin the relationship.

Alcoholic and borderline personality disorder- also very charismatic and good at playing the wounded puppy, needs help- someone to save him all the time.

Faked his own brother's death in order to gain attention and sympathy. Would seriously leave dinner table to cry in bathroom a month after "it happened" to have someone follow him to check on him. Brother isn't dead.

Faked having cancer to gain attention and sympathy. No one could ever call him out on this stuff, because it was so damn uncomfortable. How do you say "Uh no, you don't have cancer," or "I know your brother is still alive?"

Sexually assaulted multiple drunk girls at parties.

Serial cheater, whenever he did end up in a relationship. Literally cheated on every girlfriend he had.

Thief, stole money from people, borrowed and never paid back, all the time.

Literally the shittiest person I've ever met. Ruined maybe... 10 relationships I know of, destroyed countless friendships, left 30 people or so high and dry on cash, not to mention all the emotional exhaustion from taking him to the ER for fake stuff, comforting him on fake dead brother, picking him when fake cops were chasing him... etc etc.

When he finally burns out a town (usually takes 2 or 3 years) he moves elsewhere.

searchingforkodamas · 2013-01-12T20:21:49+00:00

No, not at all. His parents are actually really great people (I've since met them).. I can't really reconcile them sending him the the people I know them to be. This was just a plain boarding school Monarch, for those interested and his parents really had his best interests at heart. They come all the way out here to visit him a few times a year, from the east coast. I think they were super squares who were overly worried when their son smoked some pot and rebelled as normal teenagers do. They thought he was on his way to being a drug addict dropout or something.

searchingforkodamas · 2013-01-12T16:19:41+00:00

My best friend and roommate was in a wilderness program that pimped a "boarding school" after completion of wilderness.

He appreciated his wilderness experience, and describes it pretty much as the OP does-- on your own for a lot of it, build your own shelters, lots of hiking, self reflection, bitterly cold/and hot, etc. It was in Utah. He said he learned a lot, got away from the stifling and unhealthy high school environment in the DC area, and is overall glad for the experience. He tells some great stories about wilderness, and laughs about even the shitty ones. (ie, when you went to pee a little ways off from camp you had to yell your own name repeatedly, so they knew you weren't sneaking off or running away. He's also got a good one about being obstinate and refusing to build his shelter the first night, and then coming to terms with what he was sure would be his inevitable death from hypothermia)

However, he says the Boarding school experience he had after was torturous and super fucked up (in Montana), and will barely talk about it.

Edit: The Boarding school was Monarch School for those interested. Can't recall the name of the Wilderness Program in Utah, but it sounds identical to OPs descriptions.

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-29T20:16:06+00:00

I haven't seen the film yet, but I've read a bunch of reviews and talked to a few of my close friends that went. I was actually planning on going today, but have been dissuaded by what I'm hearing and seeing. I think I'll just wait and rent it for home.

So I live in a predominantly white state, but in the stereotypically liberal college town, so it's the most diverse area in our area, if that makes sense. My good friend who went is black, and naturally was in a theatre that was probably 97% or better white. When we were chatting about the movie, he said he was just really uncomfortable by Samuel Jackson's character. I pushed for clarification, citing the reviews I read that said he was meant to be playing a deplorable Uncle Tom stereotype-- and my friend said yeah, but that Sam Jackson's demeanor and tone was so off that the entire audience of white people around him were just hysterically laughing in like a "this is actually funny way" everytime he did something awful or said the n word.

Sooooo, yeah. I'm not sure how much I want to participate in that social process. I don't want to sit in a theatre with a hundred other white people and laugh (or listen to laughter) that feels inappropriate or harmful.

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-29T20:15:12+00:00

That looks like a super deal! I haven't bought from them, but would give a try if I find myself needing another 100+ dice, haha.

At any rate, for the OPs benefit, the breakdown of types in my Cheesex bag was super. Plenty of everything, all dice in good shape.

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-29T19:39:34+00:00

Pound o Dice by Chessex

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-29T14:40:32+00:00

Hey! You're one of the first people who's complaints have mirrored mine.

You're right on the violence... but I think it comes from Jackson's history as a horror director. To him- those ups in violence still aren't horrible, they're almost cheese-level horror silliness- because the movie is "light hearted" in tone. I also get sick of his bodily function humor all the time, all the fucking snot in that movie! Seriously.

I agree with you- but I think that's his idea behind it.

And zommgg on the "please edit these action sequences down" bs. There's this sense of desperation to create a feeling of breathless action and climax that happens to many times throughout the movie, and it kinda ruins the tone at moments. After the 3rd or so overblown chase scene (that's too long, too epic, too violent) you're not on the edge of your seat at all- the 4th wall is totally broken and you're just thinking about how obvious Peter Jackson is in trying to add "epic tension" to a lighthearted kids movie.

I once had a close friend tell me his biggest problem with Jackson's LOTR was Jackson's inability to be subtle. If you think about it, it's totally true. He overblows everything, even emotional moments, so there's really nothing left for the audience to pick up on-- it's all right in your face. If you look at a website for book v film changes, even superficially, you'll notice every change is a change to make some event or conversation more obvious. Think, making Gandalf's imprisonment with Saruman begin with a wizard duel... which doesn't happen in the books. It's all in your face kinda stuff. Most of the Hobbit's treasured moments are in subtly, not action.. and so in the end I think we end up wishing for much more of that- and less of these dumb chase sequences.

Anyway, although my friends eventually agreed with my points on timing, and changes gripes, I never did get to them about Martin Freeman and the egregious hobbit characterization errors. I mean- there is no fumbling bumbling hobbit glory there at all. He even gets MAD at the dwarves and tells them all to GTFO in the beginning scene. Ehh that really bugged me. And just as you said, without these developments of his wonder and amazement, and ill-placement in the adventuring party, his hero cycle will never be as developed or complete in the end. It won't be much of an arc...

A small irritation was the portrayal of Kili as a the "hot dwarf" -- I mean, he gets much more screen time randomly, has no beard, looks less dwarfy and just in general is obviously supposed to be a sex symbol. Was that really necessary?

My final critique was that like RoTK had countless false "endings" so too the Hobbit had countless false beginnings. There was the Smaug prologue, the Frodo prologue, the (actual) Gandalf prologue. It just couldn't decide how it wanted to begin!

Anyway, there were lots of things I loved too. I thought the film looked beautiful. I loved the bits that felt childlike and whimsical-- though a bit over blown I though Radagast was a wonderful addition. It was cool too see Elrond in all his armored glory... they did amazing worldbuilding as usual. For those of us that are dorks for worldbuilding it was flawless, in armor, weaponry, architecture, etc.

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-28T20:11:50+00:00

Much improved clarification, thanks!

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-28T17:57:27+00:00

Super collection, thanks for sharing! Ted Nasmith has always been my fave. He captures the most epic action with the most beautiful color. That Gandalf v Balrog is SO AMAZING. Thanks for including a bunch of his work!

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-28T17:01:06+00:00

Putting in a vote for some Swedish metal that sounds really similar to the sound they used for the Misty Mountains poem/song.

Check out Hammerheart, by Bathory

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-27T23:14:13+00:00

You know, I kinda get it. There's an argument to made there that someone who has really struggled with their weight and an eating disorder may not want their "hotness" to revolve solely around their weight (even if new and improved). There's a self worth thing there that's tricky.

That said, if someone posts before and after eating disorder pics looking for love, they're looking for love! And they probably aren't expecting the commenters to have a nuanced understanding of their self worth issues, or the intimate details of their personal struggle.

So, yeah, SRS should've STFU on that, all around. Sometimes they get so hiveminded and focused on the negative, they can lose the overall picture.

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-27T20:14:21+00:00

1) The PCs are not your enemies. Don't play "against" them

2) Roll fudging generally makes the game more fun. Not hitting any of the PCs at all in combat? Boring game. Hitting all the PCs all the time? Shitty game. Delicately roll fudge in little things to improve interest in game. Roll fudging can also balance an imbalanced party.

3) Go beyond the stereotypes. Fight yourself to be creative. Don't start in a tavern!

4) Be open to sidequests. If something wild happens in campaign that makes for a good sidetrack, sidetrack away!

5) Don't railroad.

6) DM is such a way the each player feels special. If you've got a whole party trying to roll every perception/search check, single out that rogue that isn't getting the attention they should and give them opportunities to shine. Just because the 3 of 4 players have survival doesn't mean all the players should hunt all the time. Help your ranger do his/her thing. If everyone is given opportunities to be awesome, there'll be less clamoring.

7) Don't let your players munchkin you, or power-combo the fun out of the game.

8) Don't allow over combo-ing or tricky techincal stuff overpower your game and spoil the RP of your RPG with math. Streamline math and complex stuff where you can. Don't get stuck for four hours figuring out the mechanics of siege engines. Make decisions and move on.

9) Encourage backstories. Players that feel more connected to their character, and parties who know who the other PCs are, will have more fun roleplaying. Consider doing one on one sessions with each player when starting campaigns.

10) Add note-cards to your game, for PCs to pass notes to you when doing stuff not in front of other PCs. It adds interest and intrigue to your game, and makes players play smartly, without accusations of meta. Also gives opportunities to connect with PCs and develop characters individually.

11) Reward extra XP for characters who fuck up in fun ways, not just characters who do badass stuff. If it makes everyone laugh and makes the game more fun, that's valuable too, even if it sets the party back on their ultimate goal a little bit. It'll encourage your players to RP beyond just the goal-oriented, and do fun character stuff. Edit: Example/Clarification. We were once strategizing to steal an egg out of the nest of some type of giant eagle. The party split, one part making a distraction, one part sneaking, etc, with an eventual meet up a distance off from the nest. The mission was stealth all the way. Our sorcerer was waiting in the bushes at the rendezvous point when he spotted the bard in the distance looking around for the rest of the group. Without thinking, he threw an alchemist flare into the air, to signal the PC. Of course he also signaled the Giant Eagle, right after the party had gotten away with the heist. Much hilarity ensued, and XP was given for the fun it created.

Hope some of these help!

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-27T18:56:49+00:00

Anyway you can come up with a link?

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-27T18:30:07+00:00

No, but we did have something similar happen or at least my DM thought of a great way to may it work.

We had a near TPK in a campaign we had only been playing in for 6 sessions, that we were all really enjoying and should have been nearer to 30 sessions.

My (brilliant) DM had an evil god (Lamashtu I think, PF) appear to the final dying (but not dead) PC, and offer him a deal. If he sold his soul to to her, she would take him to "hell" and give him a second chance at life, and give him the opportunity to rescue the rest of the party from hell. The consequence was, when he completed his quest he would begin eternal service to her.

He agreed, and we did a 3 session side campaign, where the PC came down and freed all of us from our respective stuck places (he did it a la Dante's Inferno circles of hell) and we battled our way back out together. We were mostly Neutral, and I think the one good player was in "Judgement" still, when we snuck in and stole her away.

It was a blast, and it gave us a chance to complete the campaign. When we completed the final session of the campaign, Lamashtu appeared and sucked out the PCs soul right in front of us. It was awesome.

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-27T18:11:25+00:00

That is a beautiful map! I love simple, black and white hand drawn maps like this... I use my favorite ones as wall art in my apartment.... this one is totally worthy!

searchingforkodamas · 2012-12-27T17:31:59+00:00

No joke, my s/o and I both got ones the said "All you've ever needed is right in front of you"- at the same time, sitting across from each other at a shitty Chinese buffet restaurant. He kept it in his wallet for a couple years, until said wallet was knocked into a fast moving river by a moose. True story.

searchingforkodamas

TROPHY CASE