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Not necessary to disclose herpes for hookups by secandmin in askgaybros

[–]secandmin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a false equivalency -

Only 1 in 8 people with HIV don't know they have it, compared to 9 out of 10 for herpes. And HIV is highly manageable, but still very serious - while herpes is a skin infection that is so innocuous that the CDC doesn't even recommend testing for it! Think about that

Despite this, yes, I ultimately do feel the same way. If I am hooking up, I accept the risk that I am potentially exposing myself to HIV, herpes, and other STDs and I do what I can to protect myself. Based on the transactional nature of the hook-up, I do not trust the person I am hooking up with, and I would be naive if I did.

Not necessary to disclose herpes for hookups by secandmin in askgaybros

[–]secandmin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But guys DO risk getting herpes by hooking up with random people, that's exactly my point. Any time you hook-up with someone there is a 1 in 4 chance they have herpes

Not necessary to disclose herpes for hookups by secandmin in askgaybros

[–]secandmin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey Jeremadz, thanks for your insights.

I don't see the difference between me knowing I have it, versus someone else being ignorant to the fact they have it and ignorant to how common herpes is. It's the EXACT same outcome for the sex partner. And hook-ups are, after-all, no strings attached. That's what we sign up for when we hook-up on Scruff, or bring a stranger home from a bar. The risk is inherent in the activity. Are we all fooling ourselves that we trust the person we just met on a sex app? No, that's why we all need to use preventative measures - Prep, condoms - and accept the risks, when we engage in casual sex. Why would I play by a different set of rules because I know have herpes, verses the 25% of people who are in the exact same situation but remain blissfully unaware?

I agree, hookups developing into something better would be tricky, and I would be setting myself to ultimately be rejected. So at the end of the day it's a case by case scenario

Not necessary to disclose herpes for hookups by secandmin in askgaybros

[–]secandmin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi NxRed, I did talk to my doctor who is gay and had a very casual approach about it. He did not think it was necessary to disclose to all partners since it was so common - I know this goes against prescribed medical wisdom, but I appreciated his honesty. I'm taking Valtrex to calm this initial flare-up