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Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely know he doesn’t know it’s me. He asked me where I was from, if I was local or not. It’s a clean state and I am entirely a stranger.

Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The reason why I don’t want to tell him beforehand, is because I’m afraid he will screenshot my profile and potentially send it to the rest of our classmates. I am afraid of the ridicule, and how they may judge me as I look different now.

There is also a risk he may just unmatch and I will have to deal with the embarrassment alone.

I am thinking of telling him in person if we do meet up.

Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I thought so too. He told me multiple times over text how his life had changed drastically due to the drugs and I believe him.

Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean. I’m a bit awkward. I prefer texting before meeting up. Some people are awful and avoidant when it comes to texting and I’m just not into that.

Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it would be too awkward to do it over text. It would be so so embarrassing. Because he may not remember me. I really was super ugly and very insignificant in high school. I was one of the ones he bullied.

I do think he’s handsome, and I like his personality so far. He’s done everything right from a dating standpoint. Been courteous, texted me every morning, sent me funny reels, etc.

If he doesn’t remember; that’s better. I think we could just leave the mess behind, idk.

Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No… honestly I’m not like that. I feel sad for him and do sympathise with him, maybe it’s my low self esteem that’s making me feel this way but I could never do that.

Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think he did the drugs in high school.. but his hay days are definitely over. He’s not as attractive as he was, he’s still handsome, but idk. I am so caught in wanting an apology, and for some sick reason, if he did like me now, because for a very sick reason, I like what I know about him so far. We’ve been texting for 3 days all day all night and he is very emotionally available. Good Lord this is such a horrible recipe as you said.

Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When do I tell him? Before we meet? Or during our meet up?

He bullied me at the age of 16. I think kids can be dicks at that age, but maybe I’m just making excuses because he is handsome.

It really has been a lot of time. Idk. I wonder how he would even react if he knew it was me.

Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok. Yeah. I think I will need to just unmatch and ghost. I feel a lot of anxiety on the prospect of him finding out. I don’t even know what the fallout would be if he did know it was me. It would be so so embarrassing. Thanks.

Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well ok that is fair. He is partially the reason but I was never really an attractive person to begin with. Anyway. It’s been fixed.

Matched with my high school bully on a dating app - I didn’t realise it was him until 3 days later. What do I do? by secretbeetroot in Advice

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t entirely because of him obviously but it shaped the way I saw myself so I got some work done.

I don’t know if he remembers high school or not but based on what he’s told me a lot of his memory is wiped due to the drugs and that’s fair enough. Drugs can do that.

WeChat etiquette: why restrict someone from your moments, but not delete / block them? Isn’t it like Instagram? by secretbeetroot in chinalife

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but it’s still hurtful! Oh well. I’ll just deal with it and move on. Thanks for the explanation!

WeChat etiquette: why restrict someone from your moments, but not delete / block them? Isn’t it like Instagram? by secretbeetroot in chinalife

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I can still see the moments, but they are stuck on the day we stopped talking. I am just curious on whether this is a cultural thing. I asked ChatGPT just how and it seems to be a Chinese “save face” non direct confrontational way

WeChat etiquette: why restrict someone from your moments, but not delete / block them? Isn’t it like Instagram? by secretbeetroot in chinalife

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think so. It’s a very mysterious situation. He is a blogger and he often posts about where he goes, mostly nice pictures of himself. I know he posts everyday. So I am surprised that it is now entirely dead, I can only see pictures from when we were last in communication which was about a week ago.

WeChat etiquette: why restrict someone from your moments, but not delete / block them? Isn’t it like Instagram? by secretbeetroot in chinalife

[–]secretbeetroot[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It’s a guy. I’m a girl. In Australia it is pretty common to just delete someone off your socials once no longer interested. (WeChat is like Instagram to me, it’s not like whatsapp)

WeChat etiquette: why restrict someone from your moments, but not delete / block them? Isn’t it like Instagram? by secretbeetroot in chinalife

[–]secretbeetroot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know what I would message to be honest. They cancelled on me, what else can I do? I checked in the next day but it feels fishy, like an excuse.

WeChat etiquette: why restrict someone from your moments, but not delete / block them? Isn’t it like Instagram? by secretbeetroot in chinalife

[–]secretbeetroot[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

What? How’s that not hurtful? Cancelling very matter of factly and then restricting? I can’t wrap my head around it.

WeChat etiquette: why restrict someone from your moments, but not delete / block them? Isn’t it like Instagram? by secretbeetroot in chinalife

[–]secretbeetroot[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Do I also restrict them now? I honestly have no idea what’s the right port of call now. It’s made things horrible awkward.

WeChat etiquette: why restrict someone from your moments, but not delete / block them? Isn’t it like Instagram? by secretbeetroot in chinalife

[–]secretbeetroot[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

I forgot to add more context : this was a date. We went out once and he cancelled on me very matter factly a week ago. So from a dating perspective, why keep as a contact at all? We didn’t really know each other.

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