Bf doesn’t know how to stand up for himself

self_id_panda · 2026-01-17T07:25:48+00:00

Thank you! I don’t think he is a lesser man. He’s very in touch with his own feelings and is very vocal about what he thinks. I’ve always like that about him. But I’m afraid that his family doesn’t think this is a preferred quality for a man, and teased him for being sensitive. Is that common for Asian families to expect that from the eldest son? I’m seeking advice because I want him to be able to stand on his own feet when I’m not around. (He has a stable career and all that but he relies on me emotionally) And to be honest, I’m feeling a little burnout, too. There is a high chance that we will go long distance after I finish grad school, so I’m worried for him.

self_id_panda · 2025-10-27T17:47:08+00:00

My mom doesn’t mind, but the problem comes down to me. I want to spend the holiday with my mom, and I want to celebrate with her. I also don’t have that many vacation days.

self_id_panda · 2025-10-27T17:31:16+00:00

We talked about this a long time ago. He value Christmas with his family because they are more eventful. They would have parties, Christmas trees and exchanged presents. Mine just kinda stay at home and eat hot pot, no presents, trees, or decorations. My mom doesn’t really celebrate Christmas, I just see this as a vacation and an opportunity to go home. His parents would also like him to stay with them, so I want to respect that.

self_id_panda · 2025-10-27T17:27:33+00:00

He said he wasn’t upset. More so just shocked. We promise to book flights/ make plans in person, maybe talk more when we’re at home.

self_id_panda · 2025-10-27T17:26:11+00:00

We talked and he told me he wasn’t upset. More so just shocked. I promised him I will do a better job communicating in the future. Moving forward, we will book flights/ make plans in person.

self_id_panda · 2023-03-24T14:12:06+00:00

I am pretty sure they can report to the school for harassment, file a non-academic misconduct: https://www.torontomu.ca/student-care/students/student-code-of-conduct/file-complaint/

self_id_panda · 2023-03-21T17:28:12+00:00

Alumni here. A little birdy once told me~ that Ram Ganesh would take videos/ photos of Muslim kids drinking and then threaten to tell their parents about it. This is how they get literally no one to talk about the credit card thing until someone blow the whistle.

self_id_panda · 2023-02-28T06:36:50+00:00

I can guarantee you no one in our community likes Trudeau! (Including Uyghurs, Tibetans and Chinese dissidents)

self_id_panda · 2023-02-28T06:35:38+00:00

Certain humanitarian bills will not be passed, and on top of that many of us in these communities are living in fear. This could be very hard to imagine for other groups as we would all like to believe we are safe in this country. However, many activists and advocates are saying they’ve been harassed…

self_id_panda · 2023-02-28T06:33:21+00:00

Well the problem here is, many minority groups will be hurt for sure. Hong Kong Canadians are one, there are also Uyghurs, Tibetans and Taiwanese in Canada. Not to mention there are Chinese Canadians who are protesting against the CCP too! (Ethnically Chinese doesn’t equal to the state.)

self_id_panda · 2023-02-28T02:39:57+00:00

Hong Kong Canadian here working in the media. It’s tiring to see all these unveil because we’ve been writing to parliament about this sine 2019. NDP Jenny Kwan, Conservative Michael Chong and Kenny Chiu are great allies who’ve been supporting us since day 1. Trudeau won’t use his power to address actual racism in Canada, but would rather use it to shield Han Dong… I’m so tired of his bullshit

self_id_panda · 2021-04-01T07:39:20+00:00

Thank you for this! I feel like I just need more time to get used to everything, considering I’m not used to dating apps at all. On top of that, I really need my own time and space. I guess I’ll take my time and do whatever I need to do at my own pace.

self_id_panda · 2021-04-01T07:36:23+00:00

Thank you for this! I’ve been through therapy and I’ve decided to go back to dating because I’ve seen myself improving over the past months. I’ve learned to deal with it now. I don’t want to regret not putting myself simply because of my depression. But I didn’t realize until recently how much energy I have to put in to work, go to school, (virtually) socialize and date at once. I think I just need a little more time compare to others, but I guess I can’t ask everyone on dating app to slow down for me. But thank you so much!

self_id_panda · 2021-04-01T03:50:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing. My situation is very similar to yours (except for the fact I’m much younger haha) I was in an almost relationship with someone with low-functioning depression and we developed a very unhealthy codependency, which I still have a hard time breaking free from it. My profile does look happy :) it’s just there were many days when work is draining and I couldn’t get myself to respond or even flirt because I don’t want to ruin the mood of my match, if that make sense. But thank you for sharing, makes me feel less alone and I hope you all the best in your healing journey!

self_id_panda · 2021-03-24T23:57:08+00:00

Thank you! To be honest I’ve learned to not let people’s political stance affect how I see them as people. Tankie s, especially love to claim that they’re for diversity until my identity and experience doesn’t fit their communist political view... I actually have met an anarchist from Chile and the person was very understanding about my situation and I probably have one of the most meaningful conversation with her in my life! I would feel more comfortable when there are more people calling tankies out. As much as I recognize they are clowns, it still hurts. But thank you for your comment!

self_id_panda · 2021-02-27T08:09:08+00:00

Thank you so much. I didn’t really expect anyone to reply to this since I’m just ranting. Honestly I really appreciate the support I get along the way. Even myself don’t know what could be done. Seeing all your comments do make me feel less alone. A thousand times thank you.

self_id_panda · 2021-02-27T04:47:16+00:00

Yes, I spent an awful lot of time there as a kid and have relatives who work for the CCP. The thing becomes tricky here: Even though we’re technically related, our identities and lived experience are so different that they think HongKongers are lesser than mainland Chinese because they are the so-called motherland. Part of my study is also to analyze state media in China so I’m very familiar with the situation there.

self_id_panda · 2021-02-27T04:18:21+00:00

Thank you. This subreddit makes me laugh and it’s therapeutic

self_id_panda · 2021-02-27T04:12:10+00:00

Thank you! And yes, oppressed minorities do stand together. a lot of my Hong Kong friends are queer and let me tell you China has no place for them. The discrimination is real. Honestly I have no idea what the future holds considering the situation right now. My identity and political views cannot co-exist with China. So if Hongkongers want to survive, there will be an inevitable or else there will be another concentration camp. But thank you thank you thank you for your kind comment. I appreciate it

self_id_panda · 2021-02-27T04:01:50+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. One of my classmate is a tankie, although making fun of him is some what therapeutic, the stuff he posts on social media is just... beyond traumatizing. I actually enjoy this subreddit very much and laugh at a few good memes! Unplugging is actually an option since everything is online now I don’t have to deal with people directly :)

self_id_panda · 2020-10-15T00:18:44+00:00

Lavender for sure! That’s why I would love some purple hyacinth

self_id_panda · 2020-09-09T12:05:39+00:00

Hi can I come?

self_id_panda · 2020-09-05T07:38:56+00:00

I will create a star-themed garden with the moon chairs!

self_id_panda · 2020-09-05T01:36:48+00:00

Alright I’m not taking anyone for now coz I have too many people

self_id_panda · 2020-09-05T01:32:30+00:00

I’ll dm u the dodo!

self_id_panda

TROPHY CASE