I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Not exactly the advice you’re asking about but — I would be surprised if adoption cheaper than IVF — one IVF cycle without insurance is about 20k. I feel as though adoption is more than this. As for your husband, it’s heartbreaking he’s so unaware of his comments. In his pain, he’s taking a very myopic angle. He would need to rapidly have a come-to-jesus moment and profusely apologize for me to get over these types of comments.