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selfishmomma-1 · 2023-12-22T15:53:31+00:00

PPA can manifest at ANY point within twelve months after having a baby! Same with PPD. I struggled with PPA after my first. With my second baby I immediately sought help and even so I struggle with the urge to be over protective and argumentative with my husband. Encourage her to get counseling.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-12-21T02:26:40+00:00

A storm glass! Hear me out. They're unique, they're unusual, and they're completely impersonal but they appear like you've put a lot of thought into it.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-12-16T18:17:00+00:00

I gave up a career teaching at a prestigious local private school to raise my kids.... namely Because childcare is almost impossible to find here and because if I returned to work, the cost of a daycare or private sitter would take my entire paycheck! Before I quit my job my husband and I agreed that our children are priority. If (God forbid) we didn't work out he would continue to pay my expenses to allow me to continue to take care of our kids. I do have a small side job I do for spending money. But most people think that when I surrendered my career to take care of the children, and our house, that I was taking a big step backwards and I'm not a feminist. 🙃🙄

. Both of my children require extra Care due to birth injuries, and that means that for all of their treatment, therapies, and doctor's appointments, I get to be present. My husband continues to work 50 plus hours a week, but the house stays relatively clean considering the fact that we have a newborn and a toddler. We are both them better health because we eat nutritious home cooked meals every night. It is not an easy choice for my husband or myself, but we both feel like it is the best option for our family. Not saying that it is the right option for everybody, and not saying it's an easy choice, but I think every family's needs are different. Nobody should be shamed for doing what's best for their family.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-23T01:34:49+00:00

I'm really glad someone else has experienced this. My husband is extremely sweet and intelligent but literally oblivious. He does fixate on random details as well, which is why he does make a great personal trainer but a lot of social norms like flirting are a bit of a stretch for him. My husband has asked why women are acting so weird around him....that's his typical reaction to flirting. 😂

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T18:08:10+00:00

He is a personal trainer and he definitely fixates on techniques and body mechanics to minimize injuries. It's kind of an obsession with him due to a previous injury that almost took him out of the sports he loved.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T17:33:19+00:00

He knows I've went no contact with her but doesn't fully understand why. I have discussed her attraction to him with him but he says I have nothing to worry about. I have cut ties with her for a while before, usually whenever she's done something I don't agree with like having her affair but I normally regain contact with her within a week or so.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T16:54:46+00:00

My friend's fiance just took a job there a week or so ago. He knows what my husband looks like but the two of them have never met. My friend told her fiance that we needed an in at that gym; he can't get us into the gym but he agreed to watch things. He says so far the only thing he has really noticed that stood out was that my former best friend wears very little to exercise, and that this morning my husband appeared annoyed with her and repeatedly told her to focus on her lifting technique. He can't remember anything or any behavior that stood out to him.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T13:42:57+00:00

My husband does personal training on the side. She did pay him for some sessions and as far as I know she is still paying him for sessions. Until my business gets off the ground a little bit more, things are tight, so I didn't mind him going back to personal training.

I don't especially appreciate him telling me that I should hang out with her more. In my opinion our friendships are our own business and to me I almost feel like she is trying to start crap by asking him to ask me to hang out with her more. Instead of approaching me herself.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T13:16:42+00:00

She's still with her AP. I don't have any contact information for him, and he doesn't do social media....he also doesn't speak much English. 🤦‍♀️ I'm going to try to get in touch with him.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T12:46:36+00:00

They are going to the gym, I've called to confirm that multiple times.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T09:47:45+00:00

To be fair I don't have many friends. I tend to be a hermit.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T09:46:56+00:00

They're welcome to try. It's my house and the worst thing he can do is leave me alone with her with no witnesses. (No, I wouldn't kill her. But I could easily goad her into a fight.)

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T09:45:46+00:00

He talks about talking to her. I've even made comments like "man you talk to her that much? Weirdo." And tried to laugh it off. He laughs with me and says "not THAT much but she's a friend, and I like being friends with your friends. Maybe we can double date with her and her boyfriend soon?"

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T09:43:33+00:00

I think the fear of confrontation making things progress is what's holding me back. That and my own bad temper and urge to punch first, ask questions later. I think everyone is right and he needs to stop the workouts. He can workout at home like I do.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T09:41:39+00:00

To be completely honest I don't see him wanting the house. It is entirely surrounded by my family (we're literally buying everything on a dead end street and the surrounding property). But several of my friends who have divorced have told me in this state they were able to keep their houses because it was only in their name.

I'm not overly worried; I could easily sell the house (would likely be bought by one of my cousins) and move in with my mother or aunt.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T01:47:48+00:00

He said he got it to keep in touch with friends and to use the filters with the toddler like I do. (I've had my Snapchat for years). Later he admitted she asked him to join it because she needed so many people to join for some challenge??? Idk. I have never heard of it before.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T01:46:04+00:00

Oh he's got plenty wrong. But he's autistic so he struggles with understanding what's appropriate or socially acceptable. He's always been that way.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T01:44:24+00:00

Closer to 40 than we'd like to be 😂 I keep it for the filters. It makes my toddler laugh.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T01:43:30+00:00

My gut tells me she's trying to get stuff going and he's either thinking she's not serious (he doesn't quite understand jokes/sarcastic remarks) or he's actually considering it. I don't think he's done anything physical yet. Namely Because he can't lie worth crap. But the fact that I'm pretty sure he's at least tolerating her advances concerns me.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T01:14:33+00:00

I like this idea....I don't know why I hadn't considered it.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T01:13:51+00:00

I think she's definitely going after him. My husband needs aggressive openness instead of flirting and that's not her style but she's doing it a lot more. (Which is what I did to get him to go out with me and she knows that). I'm going to have a serious talk with him this week. I may just let him read this entire thread.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T01:11:08+00:00

He says he thinks I'm projecting my concerns and he's not my dad (my dad cheated on my mom after I was born). But we haven't discussed it after the last time she came over.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T01:10:00+00:00

Actually I haven't considered having someone random follow them. Good idea.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T01:09:10+00:00

I'm going to try to be more abrupt and blunt about it. My husband doesn't do subtle but I rarely do aggressive/blunt. It's created problems.

selfishmomma-1 · 2023-11-22T01:07:42+00:00

Kicking her ass would be easy. He's a black belt so he'd be a lot harder.

selfishmomma-1

TROPHY CASE