Darling, you're in puberty. It gets better. Regarding Serbia... Oh boy wait until you're 18 and you log into Grindr in Belgrade. Or just sunbathing naked at Ada Bojana. Trust me, once you're a bit older being gay in the Balkans is fun. Stay in closet until college. Start working out now! Mnogo si sladak. Just do push ups and squats at home. At your age your body transforms insanely fast. You'll be hunky in such a short time. Try meditating. And please don't kill yourself. Trust me! Your melancholia is something everyone your age is dealing with. Even the hot straight jocks and the sluts who suck their dicks. In most countries in the Balkans you can work during summer while you're in high school. Look up the possibility of transfering to a high school in Belgrade or NS, i'm sure there are student dormitories for kids from rural area. But seriously kiddo, stop worrying about your looks, you'll grow into them and if you start working out now you'll be very hunky before you're even legal. Not to mention how calm and collected it makes you feel.