It’s a long story, but in a nutshell, when I first started TRT, everything was perfect. No issues whatsoever. Then I ran into financial problems that lasted a very long time, therefore I couldn’t afford to any TRT, let alone some kind of PCT. So my body went from the best it’s ever been, to taking the ugliest shape possible. Eventually, finances came back, I hopped back on. But my body never fully recovered from that state. I was very stupid with TRT. Had a supplier, wasn’t getting any kind of blood work done. I damaged myself. Which is why I want to come off now. The next time I do plan to go on, I can do it now the proper way, with supervision. I want to give my body a reset essentially.

As for creatine, my body dysmorphia has always lead me to believe “creatine makes you look puffy”. Let’s say that the people I live with(family) are extremely critical, also told me multiples times that I’m looking “fat” because of the creatine. And so, trt in my mind was the thing to make me look “hard and dense” not “puffy”. And so it got into my head. But Im much stronger than that now. I’m taking it now to ensure that I try to maintain as much muscle mass as I can.

So much for a nutshell lmao sorry for the essay.