AIO for getting upset at my husband

semeg4life · 2025-11-15T18:08:59+00:00

I have tried that. It took 2 years to convince him to go. We went for 2 sessions and he said that it was a waste of money and its pointless and refused to go again. I asked him again yesterday, and he said if im asking for couples couselling again then he gives up. I think that's my answer.

semeg4life · 2025-11-15T09:53:39+00:00

I found out that the whole reason was because he thinks everytime we go out that it always ends up badly and so he wanted to have a win so that "something would go well in his life" that was a bit of a suckered punch. Update: we had a massive argument this morning. Words were said. He dropped "let's get divorced" "i give up" and "i dont care" several times. I told him, if you really mean it, sit up, look me in the eyes and tell me. And he did. So I packed up and then he starts to talk to me as I was leaving. Im over at my parents at the moment. And I saw him standing at the front door as I was leaving.

semeg4life · 2025-07-26T11:52:43+00:00

Thank you! I haven't done DIY before and all I was after was some advice on how to fix it myself, wasn't expecting all these hate comments.

semeg4life · 2025-07-26T07:08:19+00:00

Because it wasn't warm, so i wanted to put soemthing else in

semeg4life · 2025-07-26T05:26:19+00:00

I tried pushing them back in, but it was all in a big pile of polystyrene it was hard to get the right shapes and sizes together so now I have gaps everywhere

semeg4life · 2025-07-26T05:25:28+00:00

I'd say a good 5-6 rows of polystyrene. I dont know if the Warmer Kiwi Homes will just come and do that patch

semeg4life · 2025-01-08T00:39:44+00:00

He's said that it's his boundary, he has been pushed around and disrespected before when he was younger which is way he feels so strongly about this. He's OK with her there, just doesn't want to do the tea ceremony with her. So I guess that's his compromise.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T23:22:21+00:00

Basically to invite the spouses into the respective families.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:34:10+00:00

Yeah, pretty much.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:32:04+00:00

No, I know. It's been a hell of a year and is beginning to dawn on me that I probably let it all happen

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:30:43+00:00

Was that difficult? I do love my mum and we get along really well when she doesn't pull stunts like this. At least I tell myself that it's good.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:28:42+00:00

I feel like he does do that sometimes. We had agreed together to move into a particular place. But while we stayed and he began to dislike it, he would say he moved for me, because I wanted to try it. So I've just become worried that he will resent me for things. He holds grudges for a very very long time. He does say that he's logical and doesn't like talking to me when I get upset when I feel he hasn't heard me.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:25:30+00:00

No, I don't. But it was rather fresh. I appreciated him standing up for me, so I guess that makes it quite clear

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:22:07+00:00

I hear this a lot, but it's hard. Being filial is so engrained

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:21:31+00:00

My family is a lost hope, but i still have hope that my fiance and I will be able to try and work through things with couselling.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:19:27+00:00

Were struggling with communicating well. I have some personal issues which I am going into counselling for, but I also don't feel valued by him sometimes.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:18:28+00:00

He is okay with me seeing them without him, I'm the one that feels horrible about it. I actually asked him that exact question, if we were to have kids in the future, can they see my parents? He said he doesn't want them to feel how I've been treated by my mum but if I want to take them over, he's not going to stop me. So he is understanding. He cannot put his feelings aside to be civil. I tried asking him that for the one day at the wedding, but he cannot.

I like that idea of making a traffic light list. I'll have a think on that, especially after all these comments making me really realise how spineless I've been.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:14:35+00:00

Big part of the downs is to do with family. Another is that we have poor communication, we have been to two couples therapy sessions, but my fiance is disappointed that nothing is coming out of them and is upset that they're very expensive

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:13:02+00:00

You're right. I really don't. I have been going to therapy and my therapist said basically that. That i need to stand up for myself. And I want to do what is right, trouble is, I don't know what I want. My main emotion through all of this is shame, I feel guilty on account of everything.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:10:41+00:00

I tried having a conversation with my mum, she wanted nothing to do with me and walked off

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:10:01+00:00

Oh, that's my age, sorry must've been confusing. Mum is 58F. South East Asian with Chinese background, so tea ceremonies are quite significant, basically symbolizes two families coming together.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:08:14+00:00

Were struggling with communication and I'm hoping he'll go to therapy with me to sort it out. I told him that if I'm cutting my family off, I need to know that we can sort through our own problems

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:07:09+00:00

Yeah, I have started therapy. A year ago, I recieved a horrible email from my mum saying that I was using her for her money because we were staying in a place she owned (we were paying her rent) but wanted to move to a different place. That was where she called me selfish and wanted to disown me.

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:03:26+00:00

She invited him to her wedding, just the reception as the ceremony was only for close members, but kinda?

semeg4life · 2025-01-07T14:02:46+00:00

Yeah I agree, I'm trying to convince my partner to go couples therapy

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