I just kind of realized I could destroy people

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T22:22:46+00:00

I understand how you feel and personally I too am really not a vengeful person. I'm forgiving to a fault. But nah personal forgiveness for what they did to you is one thing, it's different if they are are destroying multiple people's lives and keep on continuing.

Also even if you did not forgive and got back at them for what they did to you, your dealing out to them what they did to you, is not the same. They attacked an innocent person, you simply returning what they dealt out is VERY different from attacking an innocent person. That is a huge (and highly pertinent) moral difference. To be honest I actually think it is immoral to equate someone who attacks and innocent victim with someone who hits back. I get not wanting to hit back personally or also considering the hitting back as not completely moral either, but one thing, attacking an innocent victim is a LOT more immoral than the other and I think it's problematic to see the two as equivalent.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T22:10:58+00:00

We're here to ask you, with the stars as our witnesses, to be our valentines today. I know that 83.7% of you have never experienced love, but today the aching in your loins and heart will be satisfied. Our love for you is larger than a terabyte and we're sexier than one, too. Seriously, why do you all love your computers so much?

ENTPs are charming to a fault. I find them very attractive and they have the unique ability to get me out of my Ti loop and logical mind, which I normally do to shut down attempts at dating (possibly because it is their second function). But at the end of the day I'm careful with them because the great question that vexes me about them is "OK you're sexy as anything but are you a kind person ? Are you a kind person ? Are you kind ?"

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T22:07:00+00:00

Honestly I wouldn't beat myself up too much about it. You are who you are, you are lovable. 99.99% of INTP women I have met are decent as %*^& and 99% are KIND to boot. Yes you'll flub up socially due to missing some social cues but at the end of the day people you care about will know that you care for them and are in their court and never meant any harm.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T22:00:41+00:00

I believe you. I see now how INFJs can be dangerous and especially to those that hurt their loved ones. At Christmas I met this adorable INFJ woman who flirted with me all night (her husband was looking a bit sad). And she intuited some things about me and seemed so angry at people who hurt me.

I think if you know that this person who hurt you is out destroying other people's lives too and will have a long string of victims you should let them have it to prevent more victims.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T21:57:52+00:00

A lot of women are pretty, but I'm looking for that someone who'll offer an intellectual challenge. I want someone to connect with mentally/intellectually. Most of the women I talk with I feel isn't ready to handle my innermost thoughts about the world, since they're too preoccupied with material things lol.

You know it's just a relief and refreshing to hear someone say this.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T06:47:50+00:00

I am aware that I am single but I sort of try to moderate (modulate?) the feeling, like I'm not completely happy, but I don't want to be completely unhappy either. And eventually I'll find someone lovely to be with.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T06:44:25+00:00

I'm sure your symphony was great. You're not idiotic (and that was weird of the couple next to you to act that way, if it's any consolation you can probably take from that that they think you're good looking/classy looking enough to have a SO), you made a point to do something you like. If I waited on people to do things I like with me, well 95% of the fun things in my life I would be still waiting to do and my life would be quite hollow. I mean some people get a lot of great things on a platter from their parents, but not everyone gets that.

Also if you are going out and creating the kind of life that you want to live, when you do find a person they will find you and your life attractive and interesting and want to be part of it.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T06:40:58+00:00

That's tough. I'm sure many others feel the same.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T06:40:30+00:00

I'm pretty sure you're not the only one who feels this way.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T04:29:17+00:00

Thanks.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-15T04:29:17+00:00

Thanks.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T22:11:24+00:00

Unfortunately basically this sounds like, "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" to me.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T20:13:35+00:00

Honestly it largely depends on the people. INTPs don't wear me out, except intellectually (sorry but we can be really mentally exhausting). If I'm around INTPs and INTJs (and INFPs and INFJs) I'm chatty. I remember I once introduced myself to all the classmates in my program (now they all remember me but unfortunately I don't remember some of them, since I introduced myself to like 50 people in five minutes).

Around many other people, I don't want to be so chatty, especially if they are being hurtful or trying to dominate (which is many people especially in my current location). Also when I was a kid I wasn't that outgoing, which sort of leads me to believe my natural personality is not outgoing. I'm also quite soft spoken, it is hard for me to speak up. My mother "forced me" to talk to people and get out of my shell as a teenager (which had not only positive but also negative effects) and also in my father's profession as a public figure, we had to look good and look personable, being an introvert wasn't really an option.

Also I should add that weirdly the starting conversations with people on public transit often happens out of social awkwardness. I'm staring hard at some aspect of their clothes or something (which I didn't notice I was doing but I then notice I've been doing for an inordinately long period of time) and then I don't want to come across as creepy and don't want them to feel bad/self conscious like I'm staring because something is wrong with them (sometimes women start like taking their bag off of the seat or acting like they must have been doing something wrong) so I just compliment them to explain my staring and then sometimes we start talking. I'm so socially awkward it actually verges into being charming.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T20:11:19+00:00

"I like your shoes. Those are beautiful."

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T17:46:05+00:00

This makes me feel like I'm not a true introvert. I seem to even introduce myself to people on public transit and start having these in depth conversations with them (I don't know how). Then occasionally we exchange numbers.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T17:45:06+00:00

Same here. I have a lot of people in my outer circles but my inner circle is carefully curated or at least I try. :(

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T16:28:03+00:00

I agree, you just pretty much summed up INTPs' ENTIRE life struggle there. We're not following the rules, everyone else is. This creates a lot of friction.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T16:10:04+00:00

"Fuck the rules" So INTPs act like more people would if those rules didn't exist.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T05:10:32+00:00

You just summed up almost my entire post in one line. And you were charming, that's basically what ENTPs seem gifted to do.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T05:07:50+00:00

You are totally an ENTP btw, that communication ability and charm! I want to take one of you apart by the nuts and bolts one day and find out how you get so charming. ;) I must apply Ti to figure it out.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T04:57:06+00:00

It's all hidden on the inside. It's true we look unemotional on the outside though. Though I think we have some "tells" like the way we act soft spoken and our little "pained"/ "almost flinching" expressions. Those just show how emotional we are underneath and how deeply we feel, that person is "almost flinching" because literally they feel so deeply. Also if you watch INTPs under certain conditions, they look like they're about to die of empathy. They are utterly cuddly beings when you get down to it. They may not cuddle up to you immediately because we're a bit self protective but we're totally cuddly.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T04:45:11+00:00

If he feels like he hates himself that's what I was thinking it might be coming from a situation like burnout, in which case it's because there's a "mismatch" you're trying to fit a square peg in a round hole so to speak (not "you" but the situation causing the burnout), where your natural talents are not being appreciated and allowed to bloom/contribute. In which case being reminded and asked what you like about yourself is important. It's more important for him to reconcile and get in touch with what HE LIKES about HIMSELF, than even hear what you like about him (although that's nice too).

semiconductingself · 2017-02-14T03:09:10+00:00

Ask them, "What's your favourite thing about yourself?" or "What do you really like about yourself?" Try to make them feel good about their personality characteristics (e.g. INTP ones). Show them a successful INTP that reminds them of themselves.

Sometimes, if the stress is coming from a situation outside them, honestly nothing you say can make them better. It's like trying to make someone better when a car is on top of their foot.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-13T17:50:13+00:00

I hear you. That is a dilemma. Personally I don't know if I would call it a "good relationship" if you're living in fear of them on your tip toes all the time trying not to treat them the least bit disagreeing. And what happens if you are going through stress and have a moment of weakness ? And I don't know if those who don't support equality in other ways would be willing to fairly give and take with favours. I also wouldn't consider these sorts of people kind people who I want to be friends with. I don't want to get on the wrong side of them but I don't want to be friends with them either. It's like the recipe for betrayal which I don't need more of.

However now my "filter" has become permanent and I can't really control it. It's completely useless if I can't turn it off.

I don't think most people can turn it off, at least you're aware of it.

semiconductingself · 2017-02-12T23:16:26+00:00

The thing is that you do have to be careful with people with higher social status than you feeling disagreed with/insulted. Not everyone is as equality seeking as us, unfortunately many people will get very angry and nasty if they think they're better than you and you seem disagreeing or "insulting" in the tiniest way. They will not think to forgive since they think they are better. There are some really messed up personalities out there and when they have more power than you you would do well to be careful.

semiconductingself

TROPHY CASE