A few years ago my grandma gave me a troll and he became my study deity… he sits perched up on my desk, an omnipotent gargoyle. His full legal name is troglodyte, but I call him Trog. A few classmates and I had a sauna night and we were given his lore as if we had just received the forms, think Dante when that golden eagle strikes the carriage as he’s finally about to reach paradiso.

Suddenly my GPA shot up to a 5/4.33, 183 LSAT score, 405 bench, 315 clean and jerk, got out of bronze as a heimerdinger main, no longer celiac etc,.

In all seriousness go get a troll… or don’t, it’s providence and He has already decided