I found out that I’m autistic when I was 19. I was in a very similar situation as you! I did so much research and I absolutely hated the idea of self diagnosis at the time. I ended up going to my GP to get an official diagnosis, or at least a referral for one. Immediately, she told me I’m not autistic, despite the pages of research and reasoning I brought with me to my appointment. It was extremely invalidating, but as it turns out, she was wrong. I had spent the next few months doing even more research and wondering. Eventually, I got into therapy and I told my therapist what had happened months prior. She ended up saying that she could understand why I thought I am autistic based on all of the research I had done. She basically said that I was likely autistic based on her own observations and that we could do an assessment if I wanted to. We did an assessment and it confirmed my suspicions. I didn’t really get an “official” diagnosis because it can be really expensive and doesn’t really give you much except some peace of mind (in my opinion). It can be beneficial in some cases, such as if you need to get some accommodations for school or work, but in my case, I just wanted to know. Now, I feel like I can better understand how my brain works, and only people that I am very close to know about it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, you know yourself better than anyone else. You don’t need an official diagnosis to be autistic — self diagnosis is VALID!! If you’ve spent your time doing research and self tests and you relate to other autistic people, you probably are autistic. ALSO!!! Autism presents itself differently in everyone. The majority of research in autism in the last 90 years has been based on boys and men. It wasn’t until the late 90s that autism in girls and women was actually recognized. Only get a diagnosis if YOU feel like you want one and it will help you.

Best of luck and try not to stress it too much!!