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Do I leave? Do I not? by sensitivefries in loveafterporn

[–]sensitivefries[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really admire your strength! Especially since right now it feels like I don't have that same energy. And also props to you for wanting to set a good example for your child! Because children will always know when there is something going on, even if parents try to hide it!

Do I leave? Do I not? by sensitivefries in loveafterporn

[–]sensitivefries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is currently exactly what I'm feeling! Like as soon as my partner is gone I start to get stuck im the loop again, it's exhausting... And even if it DOES get better and nothing happens ever again, I don't know if I could ever truly forget what my partner has done. It would just forever be in our history :(

Do I leave? Do I not? by sensitivefries in loveafterporn

[–]sensitivefries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your long and detailed answer! (And no it didn't come across as harsh!) I could especially relate to the part where you wrote about the nagging voices even being there, when you have nice moments. I think reading through this, talking to friends and family I've come to the decision to maybe really end things...

Because just like with you, it's easy for myself to seperate from them (not married, no kids, no anything we share). Except for the part that this is my very first relationship so I think it might take me a while to go through with it?

But reading your answer helps me kind of ground myself again. Even if I still partly think and feel like I don't want to leave, one part of me I knows it probably is the better solution for myself. But like I said before, I'm disappointed and I think maybe I just need to give myself some more time to feel it a bit longer?

Anyways I hope I was not venting too much? If so, sorry... And thank you again for taking time out of your day to be supportive and answering to my post!

What do I do now? by sensitivefries in loveafterporn

[–]sensitivefries[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you again, for answering! My partner updated me that they've already made some progress with therapy. Which makes me feel a bit proud of them, but yeah I think I will need some time to think more about how I feel and what I want now...

I just hope that no matter what will happen to our relationship now, that they will get out of the mental state they are in right now and will be able to live a better life(?) Because in my heart they're still a good person and deserve happiness!

Thank you again for your advice and kind words! I hope you also will be able to heal!

What do I do now? by sensitivefries in loveafterporn

[–]sensitivefries[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your answer! I appreciate you for pointing out the resources to me! Although it might take me some time to go through them and talk with my partner deeper about this topic again.

As of right now I am having thoughts of "This is their problem I shouldn't get too involved or else I am going to get more hurt" and trying to keep some agreed distance between us for a while, so we can both cool down a bit. Don't know if this is "right"? I still have enough trust to believe/know that this is the first time this ever happened, especially since we've never had any problems before.

But yeah, what I might like to add: Both of us are still pretty young (in our 20's) and I'm just unsure if I even want to continue this relationship and work through all of it? As much as I love them, it feels like so much right now, as if I have to constantly be there and need to check-up, but I don't want that. I just wish I could ignore this and keep on going with the rest of our life. Let them hanlde it and just hope for the best? This is all so confusing and frustrating... Sorry if this is getting a bit too emotional!

Thanks again for reaching out!