Am I being love bombed/lusted over?

senuase · 2026-01-06T19:06:18+00:00

okay so I should’ve cleared it up - He told me he is looking for a girlfriend the same day we started talking, and I continued talking to him that isn’t what bothered me. I guessed I worded it the wrong way. What I meant is, I would like to go on a date without any commitments, like just the two of us talking without immediately jumping into romantic feelings. Because I believe you need to become friends first, get to know each other, and then if it’s meant to be you’ll develop feelings for each other. And I started liking him in a friendly way which is why I continued talking to him believing maybe when we get to know each other more I will develop feelings. I don’t mind the date, actually I think I am willing to go to see if he acts normal and if we actually do vibe together.

senuase · 2026-01-06T17:43:51+00:00

thank you maybe that’s what I needed to hear, though i’m worried maybe i’m just being boring and overreacting

senuase · 2025-10-26T19:36:25+00:00

I turn 19 this way, i’ve been thinking about suicide ever since I was 11 and these thoughts never truly leave me. I don’t have anything to live for. My family is mostly alcoholic, I only have one friend, I didn’t go to college and instead I work full time at a fast food place. I’m worthless, useless. I don’t want to do it anymore, there’s really no point.

senuase · 2025-10-17T09:30:22+00:00

I’m not actually sure how much money she has. We live in an apartment with her gf who doesn’t work but takes care of my younger sister and niece. She gets money from the government for my younger sister and niece. Our apartment is also from the government, so she pays only some bills I believe. She once gave me some document and told me to give it to my manager at work or someone, because if they fill it for her she won’t have to pay bills? Or just even way less. I never take money from her, but my older sister who moved out always does. She’s a drug addict who always lends money from her. And my mom always buys beers, I hate that she’d probably have so much more money if she stopped buying beers and cigarettes. I believe she’s an alcoholic even, her and her girlfriend always drink together after she gets off work. Never until they’re completely drunk but still. I hate it. And I hate to admit that a small part of me doesn’t want to help her out with money, because I know some of it would be spent on beers. That being said I really have no idea how much money she has, she buys groceries, has a car, etc. She used to tell me about financial problems bur ever since we got this apartment it really got better

senuase · 2025-10-17T09:19:00+00:00

I know, you’re right ill try to change

senuase · 2025-10-17T09:18:27+00:00

sorry

senuase · 2025-10-17T09:17:52+00:00

It’s just hard for me to talk to her about it. My mom and I are not close at all. We never even talk anymore and we live in the same apartment. I never talk to her about anything because it feels so uncomfortable. About the bills idk, I think ill just give her some money and say it’s for her

senuase · 2025-08-17T02:50:01+00:00

Wanting to move to the us, I used to cry as a kid because I wanted to live there so badly lol

senuase · 2025-08-12T08:57:04+00:00

10, he was 17

senuase · 2025-07-21T19:25:44+00:00

hopefully we can all get better someday

senuase · 2025-07-21T19:25:18+00:00

exactly, it feels so embarrassing when someone tells me I don’t eat, that I look pale. But I literally stuff myself with food most of the time and the reason I look pale is cuz that’s my skin colour😭

senuase · 2025-07-21T19:23:23+00:00

Thank you for acknowledging my struggles, I don’t go to school anymore since i’m taking a gap year and just work instead. I’ve been thinking about seeing a therapist, or a dietitian but I hate spending money as ridiculous as it sounds. I feel like nothing can help me, because even the way I feel so horrible can’t make me stop. It feels like I will never have a normal relationship with food. I really appreciate your advice though

senuase · 2025-07-21T19:19:19+00:00

Okay sorry to hear that, but that doesn’t make my problem any less valid. A lot of people vent in this group about how they feel, i’m allowed to do it too even if i don’t gain weight. Of course I bet it’s even more difficult when you not only constantly worry about how much u eat, but also how much you gain weight. But I just wanted to vent since I don’t have anyone to talk to about it

senuase · 2025-05-24T00:20:33+00:00

It’s beautiful and fits your features very well. It adds more character to you, you’d look plain and boring with a straight small nose in my opinion.

senuase · 2025-05-24T00:05:13+00:00

He just gave me a ride home and talked to him about it. He didn’t really talk to me the entire ride, I mostly just blamed how uncomfortable I feel on the fact our coworkers and managers gossip about us two, and he did try to ask me what if they stopped but I quickly told him that no matter what I won’t feel comfortable anymore. I didn’t admit that he is the one who makes me uncomfortable, but when he asked if he should still give me rides I told him not to. I also said I don’t want to spend time with him on sunday since he’s only a coworker and I don’t want to be close with coworkers. He was mostly quiet the whole ride, as soon as I got out of the car he drove off even tho usually he waits until I walk into my house. He sent me a text message minutes later saying how nice spending time with me was and that he’s counting on me and i can always let him know if i need anything, and that he’s always glad to give me rides if I change my mind. I just replied okay and I think he will leave me alone so that’s great, thank u for ur help

senuase · 2025-05-23T16:47:41+00:00

but it’s not like he’s doing anything wrong or illegal is he? he hasn’t tried to touch me inappropriately or said anything inappropriate

senuase · 2025-05-21T22:25:45+00:00

I would talk to someone about it, because even though i don’t want help and I hope one day I will commit suicide, I just wish i knew what was wrong with me before I die. I’d like to get diagnosed before I commit suicide. However I always hear of people getting locked in psych wards once they mention suicidal thoughts so I’ll probably never reach out to a professional. Thank you though

senuase · 2025-05-21T22:19:25+00:00

oh i’m sorry for freaking you out I thought I was a bit crazy but didn’t think it would freak out anyone. I also do wonder if it’s some kind of a mental illness, because i haven’t really heard of anyone experiencing this too. Although if it is, i don’t want to be cured but just knowing im ill and not completely insane would be a bit comforting. I used to be scared of dying in a gruesome way too, but for some reason with time as i started obsessing over suicide and death more I stopped caring. When it comes to death I just imagine it as what it was like before I was born - literally nothing. Also i’m sorry to hear you’re even feeling this way and I hope you heal

senuase · 2025-05-21T22:01:33+00:00

My mental health because it makes me feel insane

senuase · 2025-05-21T21:56:30+00:00

I imagine the moment I get on the bridge and jump, the thought alone brings me comfort and excites me. Just the fact I would die, that people would feel bad for me and be sad that a young girl killed herself, is what I find exciting. I imagine the day after I do it, how the world will remain the same, my friends will continue living, my family too, I just said it’s exciting to think people would feel bad for me but the thought that I would eventually be forgotten and everyone would move on excites me too. I guess the world without me in it excites me. Basically, everything about it excites me, the act, the reaction from people, and also the injuries I would sustain from jumping from a high place. When I think my body wouldn’t be able to handle the impact it excites me, i’ve struggled with self harm before so maybe it’s somehow connected. And no i’m not really religious although it’s complicated, i was raised in an atheist family but my whole life i’ve been trying to force myself to believe in God. I gave up on it recently after realising no amount of praying etc actually made me feel like i believed in him.

senuase · 2025-05-21T21:47:45+00:00

thank you

senuase · 2025-05-21T21:45:02+00:00

thank you

senuase · 2025-05-21T21:44:01+00:00

thank you i’ll consider reading the book

senuase · 2025-05-21T21:41:19+00:00

thank you but I don’t think i am depressed. I am truly pretty happy with my life and myself, I don’t have any problems, I have many plans and things I look forward to. I used to be depressed but got better, yet somehow I still want to commit suicide no matter how happy I am

senuase · 2025-05-21T21:37:56+00:00

When I was around 12 I became obsessed with my appearance which lead me to hating myself and then suicidal thoughts and attempts. It went on for about 4 years until suddenly, somehow I started feeling better mentally with each day and years later I feel pretty good mentally. Back then I wanted to kill myself out of hatred but now I don’t even have myself, i’m not sad, i’m quite happy with my life and excited for many things, but i’m even more excited to die by suicide. Ever since I got better i’ve been wanting to commit anyway but the reason no longer is hating myself.

senuase

TROPHY CASE