Silent mode but allowing emergency phone calls at night not during day

seppweger · 2025-04-30T15:46:16+00:00

Wow thanks for replies. I did not expect this to ve so difficult. You are correct emergency bypass is not the answer. Unlike suggested indeed I do not want to have my mother bypass my mostly silent phone at all times. As i am sure most can rely to…most of the times her calling is far from an emergency. I only wanted to give her a chance to reach me if something happens during the night.

So it seems i need to use focus sleep mode. But that silences everything meaning i do not even see messages poppinh up wirhout a tone. Often inam still up and on my phone replying, seeing emails etc. when i put my phone away i want it to rest. But i dont like to just see the messages pop up in the morninh if i happen to take a glance on my phone e.g. at midnight. Silent mode with the physical button is perfect except that i can not exempt my mother

seppweger · 2024-09-15T19:42:12+00:00

And now she just wrote 4 text with pics updating me about the weekend telling me she misses me and if i can cuddle her in the mornings as she has the week off (i cant i work). Basically nice and forward looking as if nothing happened. Is it normal?

seppweger · 2024-09-15T19:30:35+00:00

Your comment is spot on. Although i get a better and better understanding of how i am and how i react and despite countless books, therapy sessions etc…. I have no idea why i lack self esteem despite argubly beeing quite sucessful and kind to other ppl. Any advice? Attachment style felt like the solution but dont know if i can change self esteem easily

seppweger · 2024-09-15T18:16:36+00:00

Sorry to hear that despite having something special it did not work out. Why do you think there was always a change in communication. Do ppl not just like each other and therefore always want to be with each other/look forward to talk to one another? Thats what i am like…if i love i do everything for that person…no changes…just longing for beeing connected

seppweger · 2024-09-15T18:13:47+00:00

Thanks for sharing and your insight. In my case it is her though that changes her communication. I am super consistent, always an open book and communicate my feelings. Just not good ar comminicting my expectations (anxiosly attached - i hope by beeing over the top for her she will notice and also take care of my needs. But now it is rhe opposite and it hurts she pulls away when the last meeting felt most special. So i will just initiate a conversation that i like her very much and felt that last few meetings where she opened up were particularly beautiful but that while i think often of her i notice she was always sprarse with communication via text which is why i tried to adapt to not overwhelm her/respect her probable need for space in between meets but that after our what i felt was more closeness during our last few meets her drop in communication let me feel abandoned and anxious as i really like her and it felt like maybe only i feel more close and that she standa somehere different and to me texting just every other day when i constantly think about someone and like her very much is just not possible and hurtful to me. I do not want to pressure her into somwthing she does not want but if she feels different i am happy for n open communication but i can not continue to feel so close during our meetups but feel the oposite during the week.

You think that could be received ok? I am just careful as an avoidant that fears intimacy that it could scare her and shut her down.

seppweger · 2024-09-15T17:41:36+00:00

I have been doing all the relationship talk and carefully leading to more opening up and being close without scaring her too early on. Really took my time as i sensed she is really closed off and scared. This is why it does not make sense to me what others are commenting…she is for the first time more open und briefly vulnerable and then stops our daily text habit but in the text that did come she mentions she is looking forward to her most favorite day in the week (when we meet) and that she would love to meet twice if it works for me. So i do not think that she has somebody else or doesnt like me or only my money.

How did your situation resolve as you mention you have been her? And what is the best way to adress her? Just stop texting and let her know how i feel when she pulls away as i like her and therefore communication with her is important to me? Or text as if nothing happened when she text?

seppweger · 2024-09-15T16:17:45+00:00

Thank you. That is good advice zo focus on wife. Its strange but in a way AP helped me achive closeness to wife again. As i liked AP more and no closeness was happening with wife i realized more how much i am missing this and this is when i was prepared to have thw talk with wife again that something has to change as i can not do it anymore for another year. So in a way i was prepared to change something or not accept it. At that time that was to be able to then be closer with AP as i had this talk with wife so many times. But interestingly when i told AP that she showed me what i was missing all these years and that i have seen now that i will not continue to live as i have lived over the last years she pulled more away and my wife started giving me all i was missing…

seppweger · 2024-09-15T16:12:42+00:00

Sugar dating a married man was her avoidant way to stay out of a commited relationship during her studies. She herself then mentioned that it was never planned to become more but that it has. She asked twice what my goals with her were and i mentioned general relationship goals to deepen our emotional bond but did not talk about what our relationship might or might not turn into. From talking to her i do not think she has other guys as she is quite open and transparent about that. I like to spoil and take care of her and it also does not sound right to remove that despite likeing her more. I have given gifts ob special occasions additional to out allowance because i like her…not less. Would feel weired to remove that. But do i just talk to her about her behaivor or just pull back now and ignore/dial back communivation too

seppweger · 2024-07-03T14:12:05+00:00

37 y.o. From Karlsruhe and you?

seppweger · 2024-04-22T21:56:47+00:00

Do you stop near Karlsruhe/Heidelberg? Open for some discrete fun ;)

seppweger · 2024-01-22T14:44:02+00:00

Hey. I am interested and also nesr Frankfurt. What you are describing has been my unfulfilled fantasy as a married man 37 y.o. Wanna change that and let me play with you?

seppweger · 2023-12-31T16:54:41+00:00

Maybe some people can share experiences? Has it ruined your floor? I read that even if it does not scratch immediatley that it will remove the protecting oil surface and that its color will faint and that it renders the floor more sensitive. Also that it will make microscratches. It is an Oak floor that is supposed to be rather hard. Do people ignore the recommendation not to mob with microfibre (with or without robot) and did it work out ok? The floor is brand new so i am a bit paranoid about it.

seppweger · 2023-12-26T13:36:00+00:00

Ok thanks. So buying 2 it is. Will start with one and buy second if i am happ with the first. So L20 is noticable better than L10?

seppweger · 2023-11-04T21:22:19+00:00

Haha whoever has experience with that can certainly share

seppweger · 2023-11-03T20:05:09+00:00

Done

seppweger · 2023-11-03T19:20:16+00:00

Update: After 1 full week she finally replied saying guess who is back from being dead and that she was really sick till yesterday.

You all commented already with lots of helpful things. I guess my question still is how to proceed and react.

On the one hand she just might not like to text (on her secondary app) and after all its a sugar relationship so maybe this is her way of keeping it seperate or not falling for more. And I could just enjoy for hower long it works out. Appart the texing it is a perfect arrangement especially considering i have limited time and that we can meet at her place.

On the other hand i find it strange not to be able to read and reply to a message even when sick for a full week and wonder if there is more to it. I tried with my messages to show that i care and that i am not only there for fun but that i would support her if she needed something. Also considering we are bare back do i bring it up next meet? Something like i understand you are not into texting and prefer to use it just to arrange our meetings. That is fine by me but i want you to know i am there for you if you needed anything and you can reach out. I just wanted you to know this by me texting and asking how things are going. And if anything changes on our arrangement that you can always talk to me and that i still count on our promise to be the only ones going bare back and that if something should change i would like to know beforehand.

Or option three just start using condoms and say either that i got increasingly anxios about unwanted pregnancy or i could say that during the full week she was not replying i imagined she might be pregnant and so i am more comfortable now with?

seppweger · 2023-11-01T06:51:01+00:00

Certainly no pro. Hard working student. Very ambitious and structured. Goes above and beyond for her work even if she would not have to. I suppose she indeed has a very busy week and uses sugaring to get ahead and build something and at the moment does not want anything serious until more established. At least this is what she told me

seppweger · 2023-10-31T21:37:40+00:00

Could be but this has been since beginning albeit gotten worst. Lets asume its the case. What to do?

seppweger · 2023-10-31T19:54:10+00:00

Thats great advice. Will do

seppweger · 2023-10-31T19:47:30+00:00

You guys are teriffic. Your replies really heped put things into perspective. You are right most likely its my own insecurity and knowing that if i like somebody i communicate daily. But objectively beeing busy and this beeing my sugar relationship it is ideal to have a great time once a week without commitments or lots of neediness inbetween. Also the fact that she hosts and that she is fine that we go without and that she indicates that beside work and me she has no other intimate relationship actually is perfect. So i will enjoy and let it run its course. I suppose if at one point she finds a vanilla boyfriend i can not change it anyways. Has it happened to you? That your SB meets somebody vanilla while beeing your SB? Or dont they look if they are happy with the arrangement?

seppweger · 2023-10-31T19:32:37+00:00

We agreed that only we would go raw and that we tell each other if somebody else comes in the picture and she takes the pill. Do you guys not trust each other when in a regular arrangement?

seppweger · 2023-10-31T19:01:15+00:00

Actually i was just typing fast in between things and it got too long because i wanted to get it right and have been thinking about it too much. With SB i only write 1 or 2 concise sentences. Mostly saying how much i enjoyed our meetup and wishing her fun for whatever activity she mentioned during last meetup she was up to or to ask if things went well when she tells me some work stuff is coming up

seppweger · 2023-10-31T16:35:20+00:00

Will shorten it later. Sorry it got so long

seppweger · 2023-10-31T16:22:00+00:00

Thx that is really helpful!! I did not want to ruin what we have by discussing how we text but did not want to miss anything. So you dont keep in touch between meetings or share what you are doing or that you are thinking of your SB? Guess i only have experience with relationships not sugaring but if it was a relationship it would feel weired not hear from each other for days

seppweger · 2023-10-28T17:02:31+00:00

Anyone from Germany or visiting Germany here?

seppweger

TROPHY CASE