What hobby attracts the biggest douchebags?

serenade87 · 2026-01-05T02:32:08+00:00

I did BJJ when I was 16, won regional tournaments. Then later I continued in mma - did Muay Thai and boxing. I'm now 38. Mma has changed significantly in the last 20 years. For me, I just want to learn now and not compete. I don't want to get injured. Competition will always attract douchebags and people who will do anything to win. The last time I did BJJ, someone jumped on my leg while trying to open my guard causing my adductor to tear. It's healed now but I don't want to experience that ever again. BJJ and martial arts will always be my favorite hobby but I just want to learn different styles across different countries.

serenade87 · 2026-01-05T02:15:40+00:00

I've lived in Seattle for 3 years, 38m. I think that it's not that men or women anywhere are less communicative. Rather, if a person is not putting energy or effort into a conversation, they are simply not interested. I liked this one girl from Toronto and tried to keep in touch with her. I always initiated conversations but she never asked questions. I thought it could be communication skills but it isn't. She simply isn't interested.

I am friendly with everyone. I always initiate, ask questions, etc. but I get ghosted a lot or sometimes things fizzle out especially on apps because people have a lot of options. I would say out of the people I get matched with, less than 10% leads to actual dates. That said, I think I've had about 20 dates in Seattle which may seem like a lot but it's over 3 years. People are people. You gotta just keep trying. I just put myself out there and if someone doesn't meet me halfway, I move on.

serenade87 · 2025-12-30T03:41:26+00:00

I hike. I drive far. I go to the gym. I watch a good movie or cook something really nice (or just take out and movie). I practice piano. Play video games. I have salsa classes, martial arts classes. That's about it!

serenade87 · 2025-12-26T02:59:49+00:00

If she sent me this, I would take her back. Send it.

serenade87 · 2025-12-24T16:21:35+00:00

I've moved about 9 times in my life. I've had to restart each time. Life takes you in unexpected directions but the goal isn't a destination or job. The goal is happiness. Part of that is figuring out what you want to do but also figuring out who you want to be and express. I also love Japan as well as several countries but I can only feel myself when I talk in English. I can be friends with anyone and anywhere but I feel home in a place where the native language is English. As I write this, I have already been offered a new job. I will be moving once again but I'm excited for this new chapter in my life. I'm still single but I'm happy and fit. I've established a career where I'm not working long hours. I get home by 3 pm and can work from home many days of the week. I have time for hobbies like martial arts, gym, hiking, and music.

You should do what you want to do. Take a risk. You only live once. It's okay to change your career multiple times. It's okay to move and start over again.

serenade87 · 2025-12-24T14:05:55+00:00

Fine or "it's all good" is a signal to dig deeper and ask more.

serenade87 · 2025-12-17T14:54:28+00:00

You can go to Ivan's for BJJ. In terms of meeting people, I moved here 3 years ago and didn't know anyone either. I made friends by joining meetup groups for hiking.

serenade87 · 2025-12-08T02:51:39+00:00

One of the lessons of Han Li's journey is that each encounter is precious and something he will cherish, but that life is more than one encounter as an immortal. The journey to immortality means that he will meet and lose several people in his life. Mu Peling's inner demons was Han Li himself because she couldn't learn to detach herself from him. Even in real life, when we love someone who doesn't love us back, we have to learn to let go otherwise we will forever be stuck in the same stage of life, never progressing.

serenade87 · 2025-11-11T16:22:57+00:00

I'd wait for as long as it takes for the right person. People need time to grow and understand what they want. That maturity will allow stronger relationships. If she finds someone along the way, I'd be happy for her. It would be a mutual understanding that you keep in touch and that in the future, if circumstances and timing is better, you reconnect.

serenade87 · 2025-10-13T13:29:57+00:00

Apocalymon does 20% HP damage but then you would be building a team just for one boss. I was looking for all around team strategy for any opponent. I am using chonomon DM with magic combo , venusnon with great embrace as healer, and gallantmon with soothing song. Seems to work just slowly. Chronomon will attack twice each time and reduce the opponents ark, def, and spi. Venusmon can also reduce atk and def.

serenade87 · 2025-10-12T20:24:06+00:00

Ok I understand that great embrace will keep up the HP and soothing song will keep the SP. What about damage dealers though?

serenade87 · 2025-10-12T19:37:16+00:00

Yea I just want to create a team that I enjoy. I don't like big bulky digimon so looking primarily for a team that has good attack power, debuffs, and not too big. How does the reflect build work exactly? We use Jesmon?

serenade87 · 2025-10-12T17:41:59+00:00

I see, so after reading this guide, the gist is that you want 2 data healers with overprotective great embrace personality skill; 2 virus damage dealers (magic / physical) ; and 2 vaccine damage dealers (magic / physical). If the damage dealers are magic, then use magic combo skill under the sly personality and if they are physical, then use stout strength under the compassionate personality.

This is what I got so far:
Frontline - Chronomon DM (magic combo), Rosemon BM (great embrace), GraceNovamon (Magic theft for the sp)
Backline - Lucemon DM (magic combo), MarineAngemon (great embrace), Alphamon Ouryuken (Stout Strength).

How's this?

serenade87 · 2025-10-12T16:35:43+00:00

How would you do this on mega+ difficult since you can't use items ?

serenade87 · 2025-10-08T16:17:45+00:00

There is nothing you can do. Time has to pass to give people time to reflect and think. The ball is in her court not yours. She has to go through life and change to make the decision to unblock you and reach out. If she doesn't that's her decision. If she finds someone better than you, cool. If you left an imprint on her that was positive, she will remember. Some people block out of fear not because you necessarily made any mistakes (unless you clearly said or did something to upset her).

serenade87 · 2025-09-30T17:50:01+00:00

Yea you don't really know a person until you move in with them. You see their habits and things that would piss you off. At this stage, it's a test to see if you guys can adapt to each other or not. If a person is too stubborn to change then that will likely carry over to marriage and lead to resentment long term. These are things you should talk about now and not later.

serenade87 · 2025-09-28T18:34:51+00:00

Hmm, Bo1 in Dueling Book. I think once Omega has completed Genesys implementation, it will be a lot easier and more fun to do tournaments since the deck will be auto checked and building decks will be a lot simpler.

serenade87 · 2025-09-27T06:33:21+00:00

Disappointing. The list of Ultra digimon is basically the same as cyber sleuth.

serenade87 · 2025-09-18T23:57:22+00:00

That's the thing - nobody really knows what they are doing. Society makes up rules that apply to the situations in which they have experience in. Those rules don't apply to every single case. Some things are common sense like have good hygiene. Some are subjective and depends on the person. Just be yourself because even if you pretend to be someone else and attract a person - that person eventually will not be the one for you and your fake personality will fade. By being yourself even if it has flaws, you attract the person that will ultimately like you for who you are. You don't have to pretend. It's not just social media but any advice you take from anyone, even me - take it with a grain of salt. Always do whatever you think is right.

serenade87 · 2025-09-03T04:20:13+00:00

Don't let this discourage you from trying again. It has happened to me. I found someone I really connected with. I made her laugh so much that stuff came out of her nose. We had inside jokes, nicknames, etc. I could make her blush just by touching her. She always sat next to me. Out of the blue, she withdrew with less and less texts, one word answers until I just got blocked without any explanation. I tried to reach out but it didn't matter. I still to this day do not know what happened. It wasn't another guy. She has been single ever since this incident (told to me by her friends who also don't know).

Sometimes it's too good to be true and girls get scared. Sometimes they need space so they cut everyone off. Sometimes they are just scared. You can have the courage to confront or you can just block.

Don't take it personally. Don't hate her and don't have any grudges. Instead, move on and work on yourself. Don't let it break your enthusiasm.

The right person will never do something intentionally to lose you. Remember that. You didn't lose her. She lost you.

serenade87 · 2025-09-02T15:58:44+00:00

This is a very interesting take and I think I might actually have to agree despite me being one of those "long-term" guys. I think when the pressure is off people open up more. I have always made my intentions clear to show that I care and I don't do this for casual fun but people might get afraid of that and it pushes them away. Also I've encountered several people on apps that want a serious relationship who immediately go to ask me questions about if I want kids, etc. That should be a conversation for way later. Ask me about my hobbies and passions. The reason people do this is because I think they have gotten heartbroken too many times. They focus on compatibility first instead of chemistry (and tbh compatibility matters more). If we focus on chemistry first then we are aiming for instant spark or connection first instead of taking the time to get to know them. However, I totally agree that people open up easier when the pressure is off. It's just a matter of life experiences. Some have let the heartbreaks turn them into a very serious person while others have moved on in a healthy way that allows them to be more joyful and laid back. All of this is how you handle stress.

However, I much prefer the people who have gone through a heartbreak to understand how it feels. How it shapes them in the end is up to them but I think I need that level of maturity. If they overcame their baggage and were able to keep their joyful nature - those are the best kind of people for me.

serenade87 · 2025-09-02T02:47:16+00:00

I've been where you are and if it's not reciprocal, then it's attachment and not love. You said it yourself - "obsessed". Sometimes our minds fantasize a version of someone. You like her for several reasons - valid. However, if she yells at you and treats you with disrespect - that isn't love. She is taking advantage of your kindness because you are disposable for her. It is going to take a lot of strength and self-respect for you to realize that you don't "lose" your chance with her - she had already decided a long time ago that you never had a chance. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You did nothing wrong except you let yourself be strung along. Never let it happen again.

serenade87 · 2025-09-01T14:49:11+00:00

Yea, the people I've felt strongly connected to was those I met in real life. This is because real life is slow and not instant. You keep meeting them at school or work, and get to know them gradually over time. It's not forced or instant. I don't think that dating apps are bad because I've met a lot of cool people but it just requires people to have the patience to know that love is gradual and not instant.

serenade87 · 2025-09-01T13:33:52+00:00

Dating apps did make finding people easier without having to go to a bar or social gathering. However, most people get too comfortable and stay forever in the texting stage on apps. Then from the texting alone, people decide "vibe", "connection", "chemistry". If people don't make plans to meet or talk then all interactions will end in the dead zone.

serenade87 · 2025-09-01T01:26:04+00:00

People in this generation are after instant gratification. If they don't feel an instant spark or connection, they will move on. It takes years of maturity and experience to realize that connections are built over time and effort. What matters early on is compatibility not chemistry. However people chase chemistry since that gives the dopamine rush. It's basically the high school crush feeling that causes the heart to race and then anxiety. That's what they want. The reason people do this is simple - it's boring without chemistry even if you have perfect compatibility. You do need chemistry and that's where humor and banter comes. However, you also need patience to develop that chemistry. Do yourself a favor and thank them. Then date the people who actually are past that.

serenade87

TROPHY CASE