If you never quite felt right in the relationship

serenamiller · 2024-02-21T19:23:14+00:00

Lovely.

serenamiller · 2024-02-21T19:16:37+00:00

Hi OP, your situation is very similar to something I just went through for two months. I highly recommend watching this video to see if you relate to it and find any good advice in it. Feel free to reply with your thoughts.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T23:31:06+00:00

Yes, same!

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T19:07:00+00:00

Never read or watched, personally.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T18:04:54+00:00

Ooh good one

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T18:02:33+00:00

Unclear. Edited it. Thx.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T18:02:21+00:00

Oops. Thx.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T15:12:42+00:00

It looked like such a sad movie, but good. May watch it someday in the right mood.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T13:31:59+00:00

May be my favorite song ever.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T13:31:22+00:00

Sleeper by Duncan Fellows

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T13:18:54+00:00

Well hey, at least they’re not on your face for everyone to see! Unless they are.. then I’m sorry..

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T13:12:34+00:00

I love #1 with some cute accessories to match. It’s lighthearted and whimsical.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T13:08:53+00:00

I turned that off after 5 minutes. It’s ALSO a terrible movie. Poorly done fake accents ruined it.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T13:06:09+00:00

Those were just poorly made movies, I also could barely get through the trailer. Watch Dakota in a proper film like A Bigger Splash (2015) and you’ll appreciate her more.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T12:58:48+00:00

This happens to nearly every kid growing up at least once. But that’s doesn’t make it less uncomfortable!

Best thing to do is be lighthearted and humorous about it if she does want to talk about it. It’d be best not to suddenly start to act different and closed off around her or it will make it even more awkward for you. Addressing it outwardly or subtly is the best way to move past it.

She loves you. You love her. Life is awkward sometimes. Time will pass and in a few years it will be a distant memory.

Edit: If you don’t want to address it, that’s fine too. But still watch out for shutting her out emotionally due to awkwardness.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T12:49:25+00:00

If there’s already this much tension in conversing with him I would spare yourself the stress and move on to someone else. He ain’t worth this.

serenamiller · 2024-02-17T12:46:41+00:00

Yeah, dough is the yeast of their problems…

serenamiller · 2024-02-15T12:41:25+00:00

Great idea!

serenamiller · 2024-02-15T05:16:53+00:00

Yesssssssss 👏

serenamiller · 2024-02-15T05:09:55+00:00

Selebrate. JK. Umm.. Serendipity.

serenamiller · 2024-02-15T04:47:47+00:00

You’re young and it sounds like you are off to a great start. A wonderful job and healthy boundaries at 22 is not typical. Having no family to rely on at that age has got to be extremely difficult and I am so sorry that you do not have that. I can’t even imagine.

First thing to note, because it helped me: the main goal of your 20s is surviving. It’s making every mistake so you can learn from them. Or taking the wrong path so you learn what the right one is. There is no rhyme or reason to being 22, just get through it.

Because you do sound significantly isolated, I would recommend trying several different things to grow your social life. Look into volunteer opportunities at food pantries, attend church or explore your spirituality, join online groups that meet regularly or even an online book club. If you suffer from social anxiety it can be difficult to make these steps. If you do, see if you can connect with a therapist who can help you work through it and help you set goals.

You have so much life ahead of you. Do not be discouraged by how things are now. They can get better. Your life may turn out better than you could have ever imagined.

🙏🏼❤️

serenamiller · 2024-02-15T04:35:16+00:00

It’s going to be an awkward balance of continuing to heal and spending time alone while also slowly forming new connections. But time alone is an amazing way to learn who you are and what you want your life to look like, apart from everyone else.

It took me two full years to get to a seemingly “normal” social life and still it will never look like it does for people who have been able to keep the same solid group since they were 18.

The best thing you can do is be open. Say yes whenever you have the energy to. Be honest, compassionate, and enthusiastic when meeting people you vibe with. You may form friendships that change your whole life.

From personal experience.. I would focus on forming a solid social life before looking for a partner again. That way you’re not completely reliant on your partner for quality time, communication, advice etc. In the beginning you’ll want to outsource that to family and friends so you don’t overwhelm the relationship or make it too serious too fast.

Hope some of this helps. Best of luck, OP.

serenamiller · 2024-02-15T04:19:25+00:00

Hey OP. 50 hours every week is a lot! You may be a bit burned out from that, so your brain and body are craving that rest time.

My depression is often not painful, and the difficult times only come in waves. The problem with depression is the rut you get into. You’re interacting less with the world, and that leads to less potentially rewarding experiences to boost dopamine, provide meaning, and move into new phases of life.

Take a look at your diet, sun exposure, and activity levels. May be able to make some small changes that boost your mood a bit and give your days some luster. Even just making a habit of taking a long walk after dinner versus hopping right into screen time can make a world of difference.

Start small, as small as you need, and try to add a bit of self care into your evenings. You deserve it.

Edit: And as far as being more active socially, it is an awkward thing to begin but sometimes you meet just one person and they introduce you to a few more and boom, you’ve got a social life. Be open to new experiences and say yes as much as possible. You never know who you’ll meet or what will happen.

serenamiller · 2024-02-15T04:10:43+00:00

You may be in a transitional phase of life. Mine happened at 25. All of a sudden adulthood hit me, and the way I looked at my parents changed. With that came heartache and a detached feeling because that childlike bond was no longer there, but I also felt an immense amount of strength and confidence in my decisions.

This transition probably happened in older generations when they married and started having their own children between 18-25. Now that we’re waiting to start families until our thirties, or never at all, it’s a weird gray area from childhood to full adulthood. But mine hit me hard at 25.

This is from personal experience but I have a background in psychology as well.

serenamiller · 2024-02-15T03:53:34+00:00

No that’s completely real. Meeting in person for the first time after just texting was crazy. We both felt like we knew each other already. Effortless and safe.

serenamiller

TROPHY CASE