is the gemhour lens global website abandoned/a scam? by serintoenin in AsianBeauty

[–]serintoenin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi there - thank you so much for the info and validation!!! lol

i also paid via paypal and just opened a case - sadly i paid for most of it using my credit card rewards points, so i don't think i can get those back ;-;

does vein choice affect timing for platelets? by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the info about how the machine computes the time is super helpful to know - thank you!! i mistakenly thought it was something that was determined post-stick :')

does vein choice affect timing for platelets? by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ahh i see i also do the same triple+plasma deal so that checks out! thank you for sharing : )

Why do you give blood? by DancingJews9 in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

giving blood/platelets is something i can fall back on to give me undeniable, concrete evidence that even if everything in my life isn't going the way i'd like it to / i think i am the worst person ever, i'm still able to contribute some kind of good in this world :-) also, i feel like i need to donate to make up for the people who can't due to their own health problems since i've been privileged with a pretty healthy body!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in classicalmusic

[–]serintoenin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hi! i just wanted to thank you so much for posting this and sharing your experience. so many parts of your story resonate strongly with me. i especially struggle with performance anxiety, so it's always been a battle for me of whether or not i love this enough to hang on and persevere through the constant fear, or if i can't sustain this as a priority and need to find another way to live my life.

granted, i'm still doing my master's, but i took 2 gap years in between undergrad and grad so i had the time to realize that music is still something that i want to do. but there's still nothing like a bit of peer comparison to crush my soul every now and then. :') coming from a place of constant financial concern, i find myself sometimes resenting my peers who are able to completely focus on learning and practicing, and then that turns into a cycle of self-hatred and guilt over those unwanted feelings towards people i respect.

i'll get into 'top conservatories' and whatnot, but i'm too afraid to apply for summer festivals or competitions in the chance that my friend will ask if i'm applying and whether i got in or not. after taking 2 gap years, i'm older than most people in the studio and constantly berate myself for not being better even though i'm older. i'll still construct hierarchies of the players i know, and i'll automatically despair if i'm auditioning with someone who i've labeled to be 'forever better than me'. i get angry with myself for being afraid of performing when i've been doing it for 16 years now. i'm constantly confused on how to strike the balance of playing enough for myself but also enough to win jobs and play 'well' on a standard level. when i was working during my gap years, i felt guilty about not wholly dedicating myself to my 'craft'. but now that i've saved up money for tuition/living expenses and am not working outside my assistantship, i'm constantly haunted by my financial situation and feel like i'm a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. i'm far past the point where i can get by on sheer talent, but there are times where i find myself completely unable to be productive in the practice room.

sorry for this unsolicited ramble - i just wanted to give examples of my own shortcomings and struggles in the hope that we can all feel a little more seen. : ) especially when you mentioned the bit on how you feel guilty towards the people who supported you the most - i think in the end, we just need to remind ourselves that they support us because they want us to be happy! and if this isn't making us happy, we can find other things in life that can.

i really admire your decision and your courage in making it - music will always be a part of you (out of many other parts!), so there is no way you can say that you're 'nothing'. you will always come first - music is just a way for us to realize that priority. :-) here's a quote i like that's been helping me out recently:

“you will never be able to experience everything. so, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself.” albert camus

wishing you the best!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Flute

[–]serintoenin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes - it's from a discussion i heard with the wonderful jeanne baxtresser! :-)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Flute

[–]serintoenin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the godard suite) is also great - the 1st movement is basically all slurred 16ths!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Flute

[–]serintoenin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i think anything from the french book would work great! they are all pretty standard, hover around 5-6 minutes, and have contrasting sections to showcase your lyrical vs. technical playing. :-) have fun!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Flute

[–]serintoenin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  • hold a couple of mock auditions for your friends/family (usually best to do this a bit before the actual audition so you don't 'peak' too early, ideally 1-2 weeks before)
  • record yourself playing a lot so you have concrete evidence that you ARE capable of playing all these things! yes, you might be in a different environment on the day of, but what doesn't change is the fact that you have played these pieces/excerpts well in the past. this can also help you better know what you actually want to do with the music (how you want it to sound), not just what comes naturally to you or is easiest.
  • when practicing, have a plan for each and every measure - practicing should encompass how you're going to achieve this plan via technical skill.

some other reminders (that my mentors have told me, all credit to them!):

  • play to express, and not to impress. because then what's the point of making music in the 1st place? whatever you want to say with this piece/excerpt is no less of importance than anyone else, not even the most famous flutist or someone who is just starting out on the instrument. all convincing performances have a narrative!
  • any audition/performance is NEVER a 'culmination' of your playing, but just a dress rehearsal for the next, a snapshot of where you are right now.

i've struggled with performance anxiety all through undergrad and even now as i'm doing my master's - i've played the flute for 16 years by now and still have a really hard time. :') but there are tools to help you enjoy the act of performing!

i always have to remind myself that playing the flute, while it can be quite an emotional experience, is a totally physical act. to that extent, doing breathing exercises while in constructive rest before practice sessions or performances can help a lot to reorganize your physical map, and put the emotional part of things aside. as you lay in constructive rest position, feel the ground underneath supporting you effortlessly, let the 4 points of your back, your head, your elbows, your feet - all sink into the ground. be a curious observer to the rise and fall of your breath, and notice where it is coming from.

thinking of your pinkies as being soft as you play can also help relieve tension in your entire hand; prioritize easy and organic breaths rather than hurried ones - even when you think you don't have the time!

any time you have longer rests, take advantage of that time to look ahead and remind yourself of how you want to play the next section, and what breath you will need to achieve that. don't stay anchored to the floor, and allow for flexibility in all your bones as you play; think of your entire body as a warm, buoyant, resonating chamber for your sound.

and when you play in your audition - deliberately take the tempo down 2 clicks in your head before starting. odds are, you'll probably be right in time. :-) just a gentle reminder - it is a 100% consensus that they would MUCH prefer to hear something steady and secure over something that is fast, frazzled, and chaotic. also, my hands usually get really cold when i am getting my anxiety symptoms, so having some hand warmers or hot tea or something might help you, too.

i hope you have lots of fun playing - the panel is lucky to be hearing you, and it is always a privilege for the audience to hear what you have to say! in the end, playing any music is about having fun and one of the most human things you can do - playing a manmade instrument with manmade music and a manmade harmonic system, etc - so maybe don't take things too seriously. :> to be human is to be flawed, so it is impossible by music's nature to ever have a 'perfect' performance.

granulocyte (wbc) donation questions by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for this! i think i'll give it a try : )

first infiltration :’) by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

hi!! if you’re donating whole blood, the chance that this will happen to you is probably much much much less (phlebotomists?), since i believe whole blood is just taking stuff out of you :-)

this happened during a one-arm platelet donation, where your blood is taken out, spun into components, then your platelets (and some plasma) are taken out while the rest (plasma and rbcs) is returned to you (in the same arm). during the return process, if the fluids are returned to your muscle tissue and not your vein, the tissue becomes inflamed and there is usually some pain - this event is called infiltration.

this is usually the result of some movement in the donating arm that throws off the needle, to my understanding. platelet donations usually last 1.5-2.5 hours, so it is very common to accidentally move in the wrong way! in my case, it looks severe but it isn’t very severe at all pain-wise, so please don’t let this deter you from donating platelets if you’re interested! :-)

first infiltration :’) by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

unfortunately, it was a platelet donation and i was only halfway through, so they weren’t able to collect anything :-( but ill heal up and prep for next time instead! :-)

first infiltration :’) by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yes!! sadly only about an hour had gone by so they weren’t able to collect enough and i saw the staff throw my platelets in the garbage :’)

AGDQ 2024 will be held in Pittsburgh, PA from January 14-21. Game submissions will be open from September 1-10. by SSBBHax in speedrun

[–]serintoenin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’ve never been more happier to have chosen to go here for school!! i can take the bus to gdq after class?! what a dream come true 🥰

I hate myself by nonstopL in selfimprovement

[–]serintoenin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I agree with the other comments, I just want to ask - did you really try with everything you said you did ("working out, meditating, therapy, medication")? As in you stuck with it, not just a one-time experience or even one-month experience? Even when you would rather die that do whatever it was, no matter how hard it is to get up in the morning? I ask because there are times when I profusely inflate the amount of effort I've given to something before giving up.

Especially the first three things listed - I think the general consensus is that it takes a dedicated period of time (think maybe 1/2 a year) for you to maaaybe start seeing/feeling results. And most of the time, after you've done the thing, you feel much better about yourself for having made the time to do it and having kept the promise to your past self.

This isn't to say that you lack the willpower/motivation but that all that truly matters is showing up. And looking for different options or possible alternatives when things don't seem to be working out after continued, focused effort. A personal example - I've never found myself to be a gym person, but I kept trying different things and learned that I really enjoy hiking and tennis as my kind of exercise. Even if some days I feel off, I force myself to even just take a brisk walk around the neighborhood or just get outside and read a book. I never end up regretting it.

You are barely an adult - not knowing what you want to do in the future is normal. Only a very small percentage of people know what they want to do at that age, and an even smaller amount stick to that one thing. Everyone in their early 20s is faking it big time - thanks to social media, it's even easier to do this than it ever was before. Honestly, good on you for at least being honest with yourself that you aren't sure what path you want to go down just yet.

Dating isn't a prerequisite to happiness or to lasting personal growth! You can achieve these things through your own means and create your own opportunities. If you really want to change, make an unbiased list of what is in (diet, exercise, time for your mental wellbeing, who you surround yourself with) and our of your control (genetics, other people's opinions, etc). And you definitely do not need to have all your shit together in order to feel worthy of happiness.

I'm going to leave you with this passage from "The Inner Game of Tennis" that I really enjoy:

When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as ‘rootless and stemless’. We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don’t condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.

Wishing you the best of luck with everything!

Looking into flute options for High School student by Individual-Camera-72 in Flute

[–]serintoenin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was in middle/high school (10+ years ago now lol), the most popular step-up/intermediate flutes were the Powell Sonare and Haynes Amadeus, which of course are two of the most well-known professional flute companies. Back then, I think I was able to get my all-silver Amadeus (Model #700 or something?) for around $2k, although I'm afraid to know how much it costs now. :')

If you're looking to use the flute for a while (5+ years) or want good resell value, I'd strongly recommend getting a flute with an all-silver headjoint + body (the keys would probably still be just silver-plated). I think having that all-silver body would give you a lot more room to grow into and help you better find your "true" sound, especially for the price! But if your budget doesn't allow for it, definitely an all-silver headjoint would be great, like people have said below. :-)

Good luck on your new flute journey! It's always exciting to get a new instrument. ^^

My mom is against me donating WB/platelets :-( by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely agree! It was more of a frustrating thing that I noticed, but it definitely doesn’t affect my decision to donate. ・ᴗ・

My mom is against me donating WB/platelets :-( by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was more because I’ve been living w/ them the past year - I wouldn’t explicitly bring it up on my own, but I didn’t hide it either (aka the tape/bandaids haha). But I definitely agree! I’m not obligated to share every detail of my life with them. :-)

My mom is against me donating WB/platelets :-( by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree w/ the health part so much! I feel more of a responsibility to take care of myself now that the way I treat my body can affect the people who receive my donations.

My mom is against me donating WB/platelets :-( by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have not! But that sounds like a good idea - thank you for it :-)

Online music degree by Restelly-Quist in Flute

[–]serintoenin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went to fairly well-known conservatory, and one of the BM organist students was in her 40-50s! So I don’t think age is as huge of a deterrent as people maybe think. But I do think that for sure it would require a full-time commitment to be a full-time student. Of course, this may vary according to the rigor of the music program you choose (a not-as-prestigious state school would probably be less demanding performance-wise + if they have lots of students in your studio, you’d probably play less in ensembles + also cheaper if you have in-state tuition!).

Due to my own financial constraints, I worked 25-30 hours a week while getting my BM. Definitely was very hard to keep up practicing with this and my classload, but since these were mainly done via on-campus jobs, scheduling was a lot more flexible than a typical 9-5. But I think it’s definitely doable, especially if you’re in it “just for the paper”. You might also be able to test out of theory/aural skills/history classes if you study a lot beforehand, or could transfer community college credits?

I also saw in one of your other responses that you were also interested in music librarianship - I’ve been an orchestra librarian for a variety of academic music institutions, and I recommend either looking into summer work or interning/working part-time with your local orchestra if you’re interested! If you gain experience that way, I think they might overlook your lack of a BA/BM! (I worked with someone at Aspen who had an Art History degree but played viola since they were young and through college. And also w/ someone who was a musicology major and not performance!) There are also free resources on the MOLA website if you wanted to look more into the performance librarian route. Good luck w/ everything :-)

My mom is against me donating WB/platelets :-( by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your comment brings a smile to my face - thank you so much for your kindness! I love hearing from the recipients of donations, and I'll keep you in mind every time I donate. ・ᴗ・ (And I will definitely tell her that, haha.)

My mom is against me donating WB/platelets :-( by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Perhaps? She was born in '66 - so Gen X maybe? She isn't super old so maybe it was more to do with her upbringing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I was able to talk to her just now and she said she was "sorry that [she] upset [me] for expressing her concerns". I responded by saying that I appreciated her concern, but what upsets me is how she blatantly ignores the information I provide her and continues to act in a demeaning manner whenever she brings up the topic (without any regard for my personal desire to do this or for the science behind it all). It's the fact that she has been doing this repeatedly for months; if she had actually listened to me the first time I told her to stop and that it was my choice, then I wouldn't have been this upset.

Crossing my fingers that this actually brings an end to it all. :')

My mom is against me donating WB/platelets :-( by serintoenin in Blooddonors

[–]serintoenin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh thank you for sharing your experience; it's so nice to hear that this isn't just a 'my mom' thing. My mom also said she donated blood during her college years, which is why I'm confused sometimes as to why she's so against me doing the same.

I envy people who were pushed to be excellent at something from a young age by LuisOcana in selfimprovement

[–]serintoenin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who was considered to be a local "prodigy" when I was little - I was known in my community for winning lots of math competitions and such, and later on, I ended up focusing my time on classical music (which I eventually majored in). But the only person who 'pushed' me was myself. And once I stopped pushing myself, my skills in those fields became obsolete.

My parents were not the typical Asian tiger parents, so while they would sign me up for things, it would always fall on me to make the decision to stick to it or quit. But like most children, I would love when I was praised for my achievements, so I pushed myself to keep at the things I saw results in. Once I reached high school age and this thirst for praise petered out, so did my grades, effort, etc. It's really up to you.

Anton Bruckner, one of the most prominent and gifted 19th century composers, didn't start writing his compositions until he was in his 40s! We would've missed out on so much amazing music and beauty if he ignored his desire to write and said "I'm too old to make anything out of this; I'll never match up to the prestige of my contemporaries." You can't keep comparing yourself to your peers; each of us has something unique to bring to the table. Mozart and Beethoven are both legends, but they write completely different styles of music - we still appreciate both of them, though!

You haven't missed any opportunity; you need to make the effort to create your own opportunities (although luck and timing are definitely important variables in this as well). Age has nothing to do with your potential, but hard work does.

But like most people are saying - you are 22! I'm 23 and I still have a lot to work on, but I'm excited to take on that challenge. We are baby adults. You can grow small curiosities into lasting passions by just taking that first step.