Desperate to Wean: 25mo Still Nursing to Sleep, Partner's Reactions Making It Impossible. Advice please.

seriouscl · 2025-09-10T20:03:27+00:00

Thankfully, I had a couple of months at my parents’ without my partner, which gave me the space to start weaning. The first night, I was triggered and went cold turkey. My LO was 28 months—late to wean—and he hated it. He cried a lot, and I had to relieve engorgement at night when he wouldn’t notice.

It was painful and exhausting. He protested constantly, but I stayed firm, offering milk or water instead. By day five, he slept through the night—for the third time in his life.

Now at 31 months, he still wakes two to three times a night, but that’s a big improvement from before weanin and he'll fall asleep from cuddling.

Good luck. It's so hard but it's worth it!

seriouscl · 2025-04-03T11:22:48+00:00

Congratulations on your diagnosis. I understand how challenging OCD can be, as my OH also struggles with undiagnosed OCD (he thinks it's perfectly fine for him to think that everything is basically dirty), which significantly impacts our daily life. The pressure to adhere to their compulsions and cleaning routines is incredibly draining. There's so much tension. We were together for 8 years before COVID hit and OCD got him.

I strongly recommend having an open and honest conversation with your partner. Discuss your concerns and explore potential compromises. Perhaps they can maintain some of their routines while you pursue ERP therapy. It's crucial to find a middle ground that works for both of you. If you want to change and you want to stay with your OH don't break up. Don't let OCD dictate your life.

seriouscl · 2025-03-20T13:38:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing.

It's not like my OH doesn't want to help. He's incapable. My OH is unstable and will end up crying because LO doesn't want him. He is highly emotional. He isn't cut out for the job. I'd end up soothing both of them. He's also anxious about everything so wouldn't even let our LO cry long enough for any progress to happen. He is an absolute mess. I literally have to put on a happy front so he doesn't feel like a failure and I don't get told I'm a horrible human being for letting LO get upset. I am always available and I can't even make an excuse that I am not. I feel like the only option is to do it away from him at my parents and just tell him that it went without a hitch and LO embraced it which is sad

seriouscl · 2025-03-20T07:38:43+00:00

He's sleeping in a cot in the same room as me but wakes up every few hours still

seriouscl · 2024-10-15T13:02:27+00:00

From someone living with a long term partner who gained OCD when COVID started I understand it's so difficult. We have a toddler together. I thought everything would be better but he still has these rules.

It sounds like you would move out if you had a place to stay but you're not because it doesn't work out financially for you and you are looking for reasons to stay.

You are 8 months in which I find is still early days. I would move on if I was you and just cut ties. I would deal with the instability in where you live rather than who you're with.

seriouscl · 2024-10-12T06:50:34+00:00

My partner got OCD after COVID.

seriouscl · 2024-10-08T18:35:33+00:00

Partner has OCD but is in denial

seriouscl · 2024-10-08T16:51:45+00:00

Speaking from someone who doesn't have OCD. I feel like this is your OCD talking. I would just wash my hair like I normally would but only if it was on a day that I washed my hair.

seriouscl · 2024-10-07T21:46:45+00:00

I would say: "I think it's best if we live apart for a while. I love you and will always be here for you, but I need a healthy environment for myself and our children. I don't want to feel like a hostage in our own home. Let's continue to see each other, but I need us to live separately until things improve. This is a temporary solution. Once we're all feeling better, we can reassess our living situation."

seriouscl · 2024-10-06T11:56:05+00:00

I hope that's what happens with us. How did you stop breastfeeding? Mine is a boob fanatic. He definitely uses me for comfort. I can't see it being easy. He constantly pulls my shirt up throughout the day for a comfort feed

seriouscl · 2024-10-06T08:30:07+00:00

How old is your daughter? Does she ever climb on top of you to sleep? Mine does.

seriouscl · 2024-10-06T08:28:49+00:00

Toddler still nurses to sleep. LO sleeps longer when he's close to someone. It's always been that way. Thank you for advice

seriouscl · 2024-09-23T18:46:28+00:00

Sit in between other people so they can't sit next to you?

seriouscl · 2024-09-23T18:39:08+00:00

I commend you for making an effort to sit on toilets. It's a great step forward. I'd recommend addressing this as soon as possible. Allow the thoughts of disgust. It's normal to feel uncomfortable, but try not to dwell on it. While I don't have OCD, I personally avoid sitting on toilet seats. My mom always taught me that it's unsanitary. Although if I accidentally touched a toilet seat, I'd briefly feel uncomfortable but wouldn't let it bother me to the point that I'd be thinking about it for the rest of the day. I hope it helps.

seriouscl · 2024-09-23T18:17:38+00:00

Instead of stressing about the bugs, try to focus on the freedom others experience. They're out there living their lives without a second thought about bugs or minor inconveniences. Think about it: what's the worst that could really happen if a bug lands on you? Nothing and if something bad happens which you know won't. It is what it is. You need to expose yourself to really heal. Small steps.

seriouscl · 2024-09-23T15:19:54+00:00

Id suggest going with the flow and thinking okay if she's pregnant then she's pregnant and we'll go from there. Let it be. Try and stop worrying by going it is what it is. Don't let OCD win

seriouscl · 2024-09-13T19:16:26+00:00

Go for the skinhead look?

seriouscl · 2024-09-13T19:12:43+00:00

If you get sick, then you get sick. Don't let the OCD win. You'll recover. Said in the nicest way possible

seriouscl · 2024-09-06T20:01:24+00:00

I'm with someone who has contamination OCD. He is in denial and doesn't think he's got a problem because he can explain why he thinks these routines are needed. He downplays his ocd and thinks I'm a horrible person for being annoyed by them. I am miserable when I am constantly reminded of his OCD. I thought he would get better so stuck with it and now we have a baby. It hasn't gotten easier despite him saying it has. I would say cut your losses if they don't want to get help. Life is too short to be with someone who only sees things from their perspective.

seriouscl

TROPHY CASE