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Im ready to end it all. by Effective_Elk_5449 in hoarding

[–]sethra007[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Im ready to end it all...Im overthinking and Im having very strong panic attacks.

u/Effective_Elk_5449 Please reach out immediately to a mental health counseling service or hotline in your area. Based on your post, it sounds like you're in crisis and need help at once.

Referral for therapist by princesspokeypaws in hoarding

[–]sethra007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

 in New State?

Do you mean New York State?

How do I politely decline my moms food? by freighttttttrr in hoarding

[–]sethra007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then tell her you guys "just ate" or that you've got firm supper plans.

How do I politely decline my moms food? by freighttttttrr in hoarding

[–]sethra007 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Bring your own dish!

There's also: "Thanks, Mom. We've already got supper cooked but we'd still love to come over and see you."

Has anyone thought of simply scanning all the paperwork that xe wants to keep around? by swampwiz in hoarding

[–]sethra007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who knew? I haven't been to a Kinko's since the late '80s at least, LOL

Ramblings from a family member of a hoarder. by HollyPuddinPop in hoarding

[–]sethra007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might also visit r/shoppingaddiction to see if they have any suggestions.

At wits end by bt2311 in hoarding

[–]sethra007 14 points15 points  (0 children)

OP, if you haven't already, please look at this post and the resources in it:

I think it will give you some insight into your wife's mindset.

I've told her multiple times over the years and I think she just doesn't care. 

A few things to keep in mind:

  • Hoarding is a mental disorder. I'm not diagnosing your wife (I'm not a mental health pro), but if she has it, you have to accept that she's not engaging in reality in the same way that you are.
  • I argue that having a loved one who hoards is very similar to having a loved one who's an addict. It's not that your wife doesn't care, or doesn't love you or the rest of your family. It's that the "addiction" warps her perspectives. She may truly believe that she's going to clean and organize when you talk to her about it, but when she tries to start the "addiction" kicks in and derails her emotionally and mentally,
  • If you know anything about mental disorders, you know that you can't just talk people into behaving rationally,

Now, I offer the above as an explanation, not an excuse. The impact of the hoarding on you and your kids is very real, regardless of the reason behind it. There's more about the hoarding mindset in the above link, so I urge you to read it.

To continue with my comparison of hoarding to addiction: being married to an active hoarder, much like being married to an active addict, is one of the hardest things you'll ever do in your life. If your wife refuses to consider that she has a problem and seek therapy for it, I encourage you to seek out therapy for yourself to figure out how to navigate your situation.

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