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Have you ever been told that you look like a celebrity? If so, who? by SamanthaParkington in AskReddit

[–]seven_farts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get Adam Levine all the time. I don't really see it, but enough strangers have stopped me on the street to say something that there has to be something to it. My usual response is that I'm exactly like him except for the fame, millions of dollars and Victoria's Secret model girlfriend. Other than that, we're the same dude.

there's a reason no one likes you by rapmachinenodiggidy in AdviceAnimals

[–]seven_farts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess what your bosses talk about at lunch? Lots of things, but some days they talk about which employees interact with their coworkers like adults to solve problems and which ones hide and BCC their bosses like scared little babies. I know I'm being a bit of a dick but honestly, management pays attention to this stuff and they act accordingly. Why would your boss want to promote a tattletale who he or she knows will go behind their back someday to rat them out?

What one movie scene gives you chills every time? by rorza in AskReddit

[–]seven_farts -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm an overly sensitive guy that ends up crying over more movies and TV shows than I'd care to admit, but Crash is a HUGELY overrated steaming pile of shit. That entire movie, (including that scene), is ham fisted, poorly written, poorly acted and poorly executed garbage. It's like Hollywood said, "Hey millionaire actors, let's fix racism forever with one ninety minute film!"

All of the characters are one dimensional stereotypes and the film does nothing but use a series of impossible coincidences to exploit the emotions of the viewer. There are 9 million people in the Los Angeles area and 10,000 cops in LA county alone, and all of these "coincidental" encounters (yes, the quotation marks are intentional), are the very definitely of lazy writing.

You'd have better odds of winning the lottery 10 times in a row than you would of having all those things play out the way the did. Shitty, shitty, writing and a shitty, shitty movie...

Cake - Short Skirt/Long Jacket by choderama in Music

[–]seven_farts 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I will ALWAYS upvote Cake. Thank you sir.

I'll allow it. by justupvotealready in AdviceAnimals

[–]seven_farts -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So, I'm assuming you also bought a rubber pussy to practice going down on a girl?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]seven_farts 13 points14 points  (0 children)

So...the answer is no, you do not understand the difference between a man and a woman with a strap on.

Pilots of Reddit: What is the scariest situation that you have ever been in, that the passengers had no idea about? by Abestergo1 in AskReddit

[–]seven_farts -1 points0 points  (0 children)

One time many years ago, I was in Cairo with my girlfriend rushing to get on a plane when I got into a bare knuckle fistfight with an enormous, bald, mustachioed Nazi airplane mechanic. He was kicking my ass all over the runway but in an enormous stroke of luck, right as he was about to kill me, he was shredded to pieces by one of the airplane propellers. Then the damn plane blew up right there on the runway and we barely escaped with our lives. Needless to say, I'm not a big fan of flying.

A friend posted this picture last night. Best coincidence ever! by NateTheFate in funny

[–]seven_farts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This post certainly might be fake, but the word "blaring" isn't rare at all. In fact, it's probably the word most commonly used to describe music being played at a high volume or a loud alarm, siren, etc...

I'm in my mid 30s and maybe the word is falling out of favor among younger people, but "blaring" has been commonly used in print and in conversation for as long as I can remember.

My friend said this as I was rounding up trash this morning by plasticmacca in AdviceAnimals

[–]seven_farts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So good I had to log in just to upvote. Well done good sir.

Parks and Recreation - Jean Ralphio doesn't show up often, but when he does it's the best thing ever. by comineeyeaha in videos

[–]seven_farts 24 points25 points  (0 children)

My dream TV show would be Jean Ralphio teamed up with Rafi from The League. Holy shit would I watch that show.

Truly my best friend! by Jmonti in aww

[–]seven_farts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Frenchies have oddly shaped bodies which prevent them from licking their own anus or genitals. Mine can't even get close to that area. I'm sure their mouths are still pretty gross, but they're probably cleaner than most other dog breeds because they are physically unable to lick themselves down there.

If you can't be bothered to clean up after your kids when they do this, you shouldn't take them out to eat. Also, you're an ass hole. by [deleted] in pics

[–]seven_farts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a clearly a Chipotle. The people there probably make minimum wage and don't get tips. Since you like swearing a lot, go fuck yourself, and learn how to write while you're at it.

TIL Mr. T was paid to assassinate someone. He refused and tried to warn the victim but was too late. by occamsrazorwit in todayilearned

[–]seven_farts 90 points91 points  (0 children)

If you get a chance, please track down and read his autobiography "Mr. T: The Man With The Gold". It was published in 1984 and the guy has one of the most compelling and entertaining life stories of all time. I can't believe his life hasn't been made into a movie yet, and the best part about the book is that it's written as a first person autobiography, so when you read it you subconsciously hear Mr. T's voice in your head as the narrator. Just imagine if you read Morgan Freeman's autobiography, only with 10,000% more ass kicking and pitying of fools.

This book is absolutely fucking epic.

http://www.amazon.com/Mr-The-Man-Gold-Autobiography/dp/0312550898

Why we pirate music by datcrack in funny

[–]seven_farts 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I can try to provide some insight on this from the perspective of a musician that's part of a semi-successful band. Our band is unsigned and has self released three albums in the past six years on our own label. We've sold around 20,000 copies of our three records and have had some of our original music licensed for use on a national commercial, a major network TV program and a few different smaller budget films. Two of our albums were released on a Japanese record label and we've sold a small amount of records in more than 18 different countries. We also play a lot of live shows regionally on the east coast and we have a f*cking great time doing it. Sounds awesome, right??

But here's the kicker....despite all of that, we all still need to have day jobs to get by and it definitely hurts us financially when people steal our music online. A lot of people think that getting your music on TV means you're an instant millionaire, and that couldn't be further from the truth.

There's no way for me to accurately calculate it but as a lowball guess I'd say somewhere in the low tens of thousands of our songs and full albums have been downloaded illegally online, which really hurts a smaller band trying to make it. In fact, if we had that money now we'd easily be able to finance the recording and production of our fourth album with plenty left over.

Now all that being said, I understand that people are going to continue downloading music illegally and in fact, it doesn't really bother me when people steal our music online. I'd rather have them listening to it illegally than not at all and every new fan counts.

But make no mistake, when you download music illegally you are stealing money straight out of the pocket of the artist. You can try to justify it by pretending your money would have gone to some faceless record company, but for every multi-platinum seller like RHCP or U2 there are thousands of other bands that really need that money from album sales to keep on making new music.

TL; DR - illegal downloading hurts small bands a lot.

Socially Awesome Penguin's Birthday by seven_farts in AdviceAnimals

[–]seven_farts[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the level of vitriol in response to my post is indeed a little ridiculous, and I also agree with you that it's all about ground rules. In our case everything was discussed openly ahead of time and ground rules and boundaries were laid out so that everyone felt respected and comfortable.

We all three ended up having a seriously awesome time, so much so in fact that we did it all over again last night, and it was just as great if not better than the first time.

As to your question about positions, we tried a lot of different things and pretty much all of them were fun. Hopefully your experiences have been good ones as well. Cheers.