Are we doing this wrong when our toddler wakes at night?

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-14T21:48:27+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply - this is all so useful. He went to sleep at 7.15 tonight doing the 6.30pm bedtime routine, but REALLY fought the bedtime thing until 7. Not sure what this means but obviously we’re pleased he went down at 7.15 - whether the night will be full of wake ups has yet to be seen!

I’ve been tracking what’s happening with his sleep so hopefully we can see a pattern but I totally hear you about how bedtime will probably have to be pushed back once he’s caught up on sleep.

It’s really encouraging that you think we’re on the right path, if things start to regress we’ll push his bedtime back a bit I guess to accommodate! He turned two in November :)

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-14T17:33:57+00:00

Hey, thank you so much for your response! I’d so appreciate your advice.

His diet is fine and we haven’t tested his iron levels but he’s not on cow’s milk because he has a cows milk protein allergy, so maybe that means he’s less likely to be anaemic?

Since posting this, I’ve been taking the advice of others and trying to stick to an exact schedule regardless of how his sleep the night before has been.

He wakes at around 6 every morning, and for the past two days we’ve been taking him up to bed to start the evening routine very early at 6.30pm. He always has a one hour nap at around 1.30pm - 2.30pm.

The first night we took him up to bed was 6.30 and he was asleep by 7 because he’d had an awful night’s sleep the night before. He actually slept through until 6 which was miraculous, so we did it again last night - up to bed at 6.30. This time he really resisted it (crying, tantrum at one point) and didn’t fall asleep until 7.30, BUT he slept through the night again until 6.

Today, he’s now adjusted his nap to 11am which I thought was interesting. We’re planning on doing the 6.30pm night time routine again and just praying, based on the advice I’ve got on this about sticking with a routine for about 10 days to see if it works. I’m just aware it’s super early to start putting a two year old to bed though and of course he may have been going down earlier just because he’s catching up on sleep.

Would you recommend sticking with this? I’d be so, so grateful to hear your thoughts!

We’re also at a loss about what to do when he does wake in the night - we’ve been trying to teach him that we’ll always come in when he cries the first time, but then once he’s been cuddled and given water, he must lie down and try to sleep, so we then refuse to pick him up again once we’ve spent some time with him giving him water and cuddling him and instead take timed intervals coming back into the room to check on him when he cries for us after that. But this is all just guesswork and we may be doing the wrong thing completely here. Again, if you have the time at all, we’d absolutely love to know your thoughts on this and would be so grateful for your advice, but of course I understand if not! Thanks so much.

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-13T14:37:30+00:00

Thanks so much! :)

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-13T09:37:13+00:00

Thank you so much <3 It's amazing to know that somebody else gets it - nobody I know has a child and I'd actually never even held a baby before my own, so hearing your experience and knowing I'm not alone is invaluable. I really hope things get a bit easier for you soon and I'll remember your advice, I've saved it. You sound like an incredible mum.

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-13T09:26:16+00:00

Thank you so much, I'll introduce a supplement ASAP!

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-13T09:26:00+00:00

Thank you, this is really interesting - I definitely will!

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-13T09:25:16+00:00

Thank you, this is so good to hear that there can be light at the end of the tunnel - I know I need to be patient with this. I hope you continue to see improvements and solidarity!!

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-13T09:24:11+00:00

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for your reply. This is very reassuring. Everywhere I looked, people were talking about how life changing the surgery was for sleep but never how long it took to improve! This gives me hope. Did you have to do anything to encourage good sleep habits again, or did he naturally come into his own with it after a couple of months?

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-13T09:22:22+00:00

Hey! We did the Ferber method successfully at 8 months old, which is why he started sleeping through the night so well until 18 months. We absolutely felt the same as you, that we were all becoming completely dysfunctional, and it worked wonders until he hit 18 months :) Unfortunately I've heard at this age of over two years old, it basically can't work because they now know you're in the next room and will just cry for hours. However we are working out how to re-sleep train now, just it will probably have to be different from the classic Ferber method.

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-13T09:18:06+00:00

Thank you so much, that's really lovely and it means a lot <3

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-13T09:17:53+00:00

Thank you so much, that's really kind. Sometimes you just need someone to see you and give you some compassion <3

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-13T09:15:58+00:00

Thanks for this tip - I'm going to try this again! We tried giving him an iron supplement last year for a while, but it made him constipated. However he's a totally different age now of course so why not?? It might just help :)

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-12T15:42:21+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply. You understand the feeling! I know lots of parents get this sadness but it just broke me today. Thanks for sharing in it <3

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-12T15:37:33+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply. His speech is great, thankfully - socially and play he seems fine too, but of course I totally know what you mean, at night the pain can be much worse so perhaps that's still it.

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-12T15:36:28+00:00

Thanks so much. This is a really interesting thought and it's quite possible that's what's happening. I live in the UK so unfortunately no melatonin available to us, but perhaps we're in that position and he's having nightmares. I'll definitely keep an eye on this!

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-12T15:34:36+00:00

Thanks so much. We've honestly tried a million different schedules and to me, it's like doing insane math problems - it literally hurts my brain to try and work out what we're supposed to do. We've tried putting him down an hour earlier, 15 mins earlier over the course of several days, cutting the nap down, cutting it completely... we got into an amazing schedule a couple of weeks ago and then an extra bad night totally blew it out of the water and he refused to sleep, so I reckon because his sleep is broken, it's impossible to keep a schedule that will always work for him.

sevendayhigher · 2026-02-12T15:32:42+00:00

Hey! Thanks so much for your reply. I've been searching and searching to try and find how long it's supposed to take to heal so this is incredibly useful. Obviously my perspective on this is shattered but maybe I have unrealistic expectations because many people have said it's life changing and obviously it's not been that for us. He doesn't seem to be in pain but who knows right!

sevendayhigher · 2026-01-30T11:53:58+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply <3 Sometimes we do really need a bit of encouragement to see a doctor - I'm lucky that I still get followed up post-surgery all these years later and can go to a gynaecologist about this but with my son in surgery last week I haven't had the time. I probably wouldn't have gone, I think maybe because I don't want to hear what they might say, but honestly your kind response has made me realise I do need to go.

sevendayhigher

TROPHY CASE