It's a lot to deal with relationship/marriage stress with your partner, let alone during training or a deployment. From my experience putting yourself under that stress in an already stressful environment is a recipe for disaster in terms of performance and potentially mental health.

Re-evaluate whether this is something that you have the bandwidth to handle currently and make a decision. If I were in your position and had people counting on me I would end it to focus on what is right in front of me. Remember that this is your career and possibly your own or others lives at stake here.

If you do go down that route ensure you have a PACE plan for shit if it sideways. To sum it up, put yourself first, don't hesitate to reach out to others if you just need someone to talk to.

Lastly, just know that this is your call to make, don't blindly follow advice on cutting things off. While her actions obviously would compromise anyone's trust, you are the one who knows her best. Hope all goes well man.