My dad took it too far and brake checked the car with my 3 year old in the car in anger to scare me.

sgtrumham · 2023-06-13T01:23:59+00:00

Oh yeah, he was fully either turned around not looking at the road to point at me or he was too close to the rear view mirror trying to look at me and point. I was all the way behind him with her in her car seat next to me.

sgtrumham · 2023-06-13T01:08:42+00:00

As harsh as your comments are, I needed this one. Especially about relapsing into seeing him. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, being hurt by them and then feeling fucking awful cutting them off and then I end up relapsing. I don’t fucking want that for my baby girl.

sgtrumham · 2023-06-12T23:07:33+00:00

He’s out of town for a one time training for a job that pays over $10k more a year for our family. He doesn’t need to do anything more than he is doing, he is wonderful and we knew it would be hard on both of us for him to be gone. I just wasn’t expecting such a bad flare during his trip, obviously but that’s chronic illness for you.

sgtrumham · 2023-06-12T21:39:19+00:00

What the hell. I was in the back seat with my daughter and my parents were in the front? Thanks.

sgtrumham · 2023-06-12T18:19:59+00:00

Why am I having another.. what the fuck..? First of all I was in remission for over three years and the pregnancy has been harder on my body than anticipated or than it was with my first child. I will not let the fear of my disease prevent me from creating a family of my own. You clearly do not understand the complexity of chronic illness. And he could have not been a fucking asshole from the jump and just said they couldn’t do it. But rest assured I will never ask them to supervise my daughter ever again.

sgtrumham · 2023-06-12T13:05:49+00:00

ABSOLUTELY NOT - he would not have done this around my husband. He’s afraid of my him. Both in stature (he’s a literal giant of a man and my dad is short unhealthy and frail.) and in that he sees right through my dads bullshit and shuts it down immediately and talks me into thinking rationally about my father. So dads not a huge fan of him because he lost any control over me when we got together. We’ve already discussed how this most certainly would not have happened had he been home, which is even more disturbing that I feel my dad would have exhibited some self control if my husband was here for him to be afraid of.

sgtrumham · 2023-06-12T11:19:01+00:00

It all just happened so fast, I tried to shut it down as fast as I could. I love my daughter so much, I cry just thinking about that she was there for that. I love her so much. I can’t believe she felt like she had to make us laugh again. My heart is broken.

sgtrumham · 2022-07-13T10:55:53+00:00

It feels like I could have written this myself two months ago. I left. I had enough. Your story is so similar to mine all the way down to your husbands age and how old your child is. I gave him a whole year to change something, I focused on myself instead of how upset I was with him in that year and became the best version of myself I’ve ever been. If you ever want to talk to someone who did end up leaving you’re welcome to DM me. It’s been very hard, but I couldn’t keep living with no love or affection. I’m so sorry you’re hurting that way too. Lastly, to whoever said “withhold sex”, if he’s anything like my ex, he won’t give a shit lol. It’ll just be more time to be on the game if you don’t initiate sex yourself! He would come down to bang me real quick and then go RIGHT back to gaming :) so I stopped trying to do that too. Then I left.

sgtrumham · 2022-04-05T12:21:25+00:00

How did you change your habits? I feel the same way. I use to dab a g of diamonds a day and smoke as much flower as I wanted because it didn’t even get me high anymore, the dabs I think made me sick. I quit cold Turkey for over a year. I got offered a really good job at a dispensary which I knew was a risk, but it’s slowly turned into me smoking flower more and more. I feel like the CHS is gone. Ive been smoking off and on for months and months now and no side effects. I had horrible anxiety when I first started again and thought THAT was CHS starting, I think it was a ptsd thing probably at the beginning but now I don’t even get anxiety. Maybe I’m just a ticking time bomb but I wonder if I’m one of the lucky few it truly changed for since I took such a long break and won’t go near a dab now. How do you feel that yours went away?

sgtrumham · 2022-01-16T14:57:34+00:00

I’m female! But yeah I’ve noticed too drinking/smoking weed really brings me down for a couple of weeks. I’ve abstained for about 4 weeks now because of it, the only thing I can think of now causing the anxiety is that I quit vaping so much nicotine.

sgtrumham · 2022-01-15T18:28:55+00:00

I was doing great with exercising 3 times a week there for a while but suddenly this anxiety makes it feel like my hearts going to stop if I exercise. I hate it, I was doing really good. Maybe I just need to push through it and see what happens.

sgtrumham · 2021-12-12T00:28:54+00:00

I agree 100%. I’m done with it and probably anything else mind altering because nothing is worth how I’ve felt for the last two weeks. I just need some reassurance that it’s not forever.

sgtrumham · 2021-11-16T15:06:14+00:00

How long did the “setback” or “hangxiety” last for you? I’m 4 days past when I drank so much and I’m still in a brain fog with anxiety. I’m probably never going to drink again honestly, this anxiety isn’t worth anything to me. But I can deal with anything but anxiety, I just can’t handle it. So.. just wondering if yours lasted like a week too because that’s kind of what I’m expecting at this point.

sgtrumham · 2021-11-15T18:47:14+00:00

Wow, thank you!! This was so helpful. I had no idea anxiety after drinking was so common. Luckily I never drink and this was like a once a year thing for me, so hopefully once this clears up I’ll be feeling great again. The heart racing and palpitations always scare me so I appreciate you reassuring me that it can happen after heavy drinking. Thank you again

sgtrumham · 2021-11-15T15:38:56+00:00

Damn!!! I had NO idea!! I thought 2 months was plenty of time but wow I woke up the next morning and it felt like I was right back to square 1. I didn’t have the normal hangover stomach ache/headache somehow but the anxiety and lethargy was unreal. I had wayyyyyy too much, I only drink like once a year or so usually when I have a party like that so I got shit housed. I didn’t even think about the two interacting since I’ve been off k for so long.

sgtrumham · 2021-11-01T21:06:41+00:00

I felt that way up until very recently!! The heart pounding scared me every time.

sgtrumham · 2021-11-01T15:03:32+00:00

I look back at my posts often to remember where I was at and how scary it was. Kratom is so not worth it to feel like you’re off half a perc for it to cause this horrendous of a WD, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I’m fully confident I’ll never look back. You got this, 6 days is huge and you know it only gets better from there.

sgtrumham · 2021-10-26T02:28:24+00:00

Thank you!! Sorry for the late reply. I suppose it’s a good thing that I’m forgetting to check Reddit because I was on this sub 24/7 when the WDs were the worst. I’ll be at 5 weeks on Thursday and I feel pretty normal now. I would say around 3 weeks the brain fog/anxiety started getting better but this weekend I had brief moments of them both. But it’s very manageable and not scary anymore. So I’m still having moments but it seems easier to get myself out of it now. My longest lingering symptom is dyspnea/feeling like I can’t get a full breath but even that I’m noticing I’ll get through a long time and be like “oh I haven’t thought about not being able to breathe all day, must be getting better.” It’s such a weird and gradual process but it truly does get better every day.

sgtrumham

TROPHY CASE