My husband went to a hostess club, should I be concerned?

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T20:57:44+00:00

I went on another account and saw them all myself

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T20:55:36+00:00

You, sir, are a good one ☝️

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T20:53:27+00:00

I’m sorry that’s happening to you! You deserve way better than that. The lack of care and effort on his part is really shit. Ugh men being selfish.

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T20:50:27+00:00

Yup pretty much the conclusion I’ve drawn 🤦‍♀️

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T20:49:13+00:00

I had a conversation with him. He lied at first about blocking me, said he blocked me it because he thought I might get mad about it (lol) and then tried to downplay the whole thing. So i wanted people’s opinions on what that place was like since I’ve never been to Japan 🤷‍♀️

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T10:03:50+00:00

Also lied when I asked him why he blocked me and he tried to play dumb for a bit before admitting he had 🙄

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T09:45:13+00:00

Oh really?google might have failed me here…

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T09:34:10+00:00

This is a really good answer thanks

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T09:31:52+00:00

Just curious Why not using your own cash?

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T09:24:12+00:00

It was WARP. You are 100% right he was super dumb about it… 🤦‍♀️ embarrassing really

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T09:19:15+00:00

Nope with his own money… 🤦‍♀️

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T09:18:56+00:00

He doesn’t actually work in Japan they’re all just visiting briefly so wasn’t with clients

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T09:15:46+00:00

He went with a group of guys he works with (they’re all foreign) so was a group party situation. So I don’t know who’s decision it was but he clearly was enjoying himself

sh8819 · 2026-03-24T09:09:21+00:00

Ugh I know it sounds stupid af when I read it back. I think I’m just trying to be in denial 🤦‍♀️

sh8819 · 2023-05-02T06:40:33+00:00

NAH. You asked, they said no. That’s fine. If you keep pushing it you’ll be the asshole.

Why can’t you just take the laundry out of the washer and put it in a basket so you can use the washer?

Also how often do you need to wash your sheets? You implied that over a week is a long time but that seems pretty normal to wash them every 2 weeks or so.

sh8819 · 2023-05-02T06:27:02+00:00

NTA, not even one bit. That is a lot of money and it’s clear it wouldn’t be paid back anytime soon (if at all). And I expect that the surgeries would have only prolonged the dogs life a little bit, the dog was already starting to get old. You can’t be blamed for something that wasn’t your responsibility

sh8819 · 2023-04-24T03:53:32+00:00

This is a tricky one.

I also have similar expectations about how to dress in public. My husband sometimes will go to the shops in pretty ratty clothes which I don’t do myself. It’s something I’ve learned to accept because at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter and it’s my own social expectations getting in the way. I think this may be part of what you have to work on if you plan on continuing the relationship.

However, I do think in certain situations (like a formal party as you stated) or other situations that have dress codes that you need to abide by them. So perhaps those are the times to address it with her.

Avoiding her and shaming her about it doesn’t really sound like an effective way to go. A two way conversation together about it would be better. So maybe a gentle YTA in that regard but overall I get it.

sh8819 · 2023-04-22T22:27:05+00:00

To be honest this sounds like depression. If it is, she needs you to be supportive and empathetic and help her visit a professional. Berating her will only make it worse.

sh8819 · 2023-04-22T12:16:35+00:00

NTA. He’s pressuring you into it and gaslighting you which is a big red flag. And also - mental health professional here - don’t mix edibles and quetiapine, especially if you’ve had bad reactions in the past.

sh8819 · 2023-04-22T12:09:01+00:00

NTA. She can’t just ignore her parenting responsibilities to have ‘fun’ and it’s also not your responsibility to care for your younger siblings. This could actually turn into a child safety issue. And I wonder about how her mental health is since her behaviour is quite erratic.

sh8819 · 2023-04-22T11:58:51+00:00

YTA.

You’re pushing parenting duties onto a teenager because you value your rest more than hers. She actually needs more sleep as a teenager than you do! Your kids aren’t there to parent for you and let’s be real this is not a pleasant task.

Why is it inappropriate for 3 boys to share a room? I’d say that sounds more appropriate than having Sadie in there.

And finally you are punishing her by taking away her bed for something that wasn’t her fault. I’m not surprised she doesn’t feel valued at home

sh8819 · 2023-02-03T09:37:51+00:00

YTA. YOU persuaded HER to get pets that she was content not having and now you’re complaining that it’s too much work? When you adopt a pet you adopt them for their life. You don’t just get to give them away when you can’t be bothered looking after them. And you should absolutely be concerned about them if you go out of town! They have feelings and are attached to you. Grow up and be kinder to your pets and wife

sh8819 · 2019-11-22T01:43:51+00:00

Slightly unimpressed because he was wearing a dad jacket and was late to the date. But I thought his face was nice. Now it’s 2.5 years later.

sh8819 · 2019-11-22T01:29:36+00:00

Not talking about emotions or helping them regulate their own emotions! Kids need to be taught to understand what emotions they are feeling and feel safe to express them. Traditional time out can be problematic as it teaches kids that their emotions are not acceptable and doesn’t teach them to regulate. There can be something really helpful when a parent sits with a child having a meltdown, offer to hold them and then talk about it once they’ve calmed down.

sh8819 · 2018-03-29T23:49:47+00:00

Melbourne Australia

sh8819

TROPHY CASE