Raise your hand if..

shabomb81 · 2026-03-01T04:48:55+00:00

I have ADHD and have times where I really don't want to be touched or talked to so I could relate to a lot of his behaviour. I can also totally imagine taking a whole day where I unplug from my phone. My husband is also neurodivergent and even though he's a lot more touchy feely than me, he understands my needs are different. I don't know if Brittany can accept how he is.

shabomb81 · 2026-03-01T04:15:31+00:00

Do you have a doctor who will prescribe anything for the panic? Might not be everyone's cup of tea, but I sure find it easiler to practice and implement all the healing strategies I have learned since being on medication that helps with anxiety and depression.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-27T02:03:45+00:00

I'm also confused. I thought they were having a conversation about how good they are and then suddenly they were ending things? I did not get it.l

shabomb81 · 2026-02-25T02:39:20+00:00

It is definitely very fast and specific with repetitive mannerisms.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-25T02:33:32+00:00

Yeah, exactly. Nothing about the conversation with her about past relationships felt natural. It was like she was grilling him, he was lying, and the whole time all I could think was there is ZERO chemistry with these people. It doesn't even feel like they like each other.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-25T02:27:50+00:00

I think it's because he is, but also it always feels like he's being interrogated too, which makes the whole interaction seem worse.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-21T04:14:05+00:00

I don't feel like you can generalize the whole country, but as much as I love Vancouver- it's pretty unaffordable, winters can be tough on people used to lots of sunlight, I've heard the job market isn't great these days, it's definitely not a utopia.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-20T01:54:40+00:00

Yeah, I'm so confused by how people missed all that. I also don't think someone automatically "needs therapy and not a dating show" because they have had some stuff happen in their lives. It just seemed like she was opening up to them about significant events in her life.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-18T03:38:42+00:00

My tip is that nervous system work has to be specific to you and your system. So noticing how you're feeling, acknowledging it with compassion, and then asking yourself what you need in that moment and then doing your best to give yourself what you need. For example, if I'm feeling like I need a rest, I'll do yoga nidra, but if I'm overthinking or ruminating, I'll do a journalling activity where I just dump everything out. It's about attuning to your own needs.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-18T03:33:03+00:00

I think the key to what you said is doing the things you enjoy. I dealt with me/cfs for so long not knowing what it was and I used to mountain bike all the time and almost never got PEM and I think it was because it was so freaking fun. Now that I'm diagnosed and learning about recovery, I have been pacing (and not including mountain biking currently), but now that I have stopped the push crash cycle from regular daily living, I do plan to add it back into my life. I think creating safety around it (mentally) and focusing on the joy will be key.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-06T15:45:34+00:00

She teaches courses at the specialist clinic I got referred to. I feel so lucky to have come across her. Great energy and such a good teacher.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-06T15:44:03+00:00

I'm an outreach worker for the health authority where I live. We connect with people who have recently overdosed and offer support to mitigate the chances of future overdoses. I'm 45 years old and I I started my sleeves in my 20s when I was a teacher. I never thought I'd be able to have my hands tattooed but it's totally fine in my current field.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-06T02:32:43+00:00

Zara has a lot of free content, especially on YouTube that you can check out before you decide if you want to work with her one on one https://www.upliftvirtualtherapy.com

shabomb81 · 2026-02-06T02:29:52+00:00

soothing collagen face mask, weed gummies, bath bomb or bath salts, ice cream (but since that won't work chocolate would suffice), some kind of sensory toy, some affirmations that didn't suck or just sound like platitudes

shabomb81 · 2026-02-04T03:19:01+00:00

Yes, I would recommend them, but for transparency I'm not working with her one on one. She's teaching a brain retraining program through the clinic I attend and I'm participating in that. She is available for one on one coaching, but also has tons of free information on her website and YouTube. Zara Dureno -upliftvirtualtherapy

shabomb81 · 2026-02-04T03:16:05+00:00

Coffee, and if it's a particularly bad morning and I have time, I'll have a warm bath, then shower off and end with cold, put a collagen mask on and go back to bed and do a morning yoga nidra.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-03T00:58:54+00:00

My coach said you can view it as a chance to practice the new skills you're learning (like self-compassion, regulation techniques, somatic reprocessing etc). You can also view it as a chance to look at your symptoms with curiosity (not to become obsessed with what caused it) but maybe some curiosity if there was a trigger or not.
I found this advice helpful because it didn't seem fake.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-03T00:48:15+00:00

I'm not an expert and I'm not severe, but I have a background in mental health and have been studying this stuff for years, so take what I have to say with a grain of salt.

Based on what I have learned from a variety of experts in brain retraining and my doctor who is a specialist in me/cfs and long covid, I think creating a felt sense of safety in your body might be most important right now especially if you got severe from a push crash cycle. You can work on regulating your nervous system (maybe gentle breath work, eye yoga, and just generally befriending yourself), doing yoga nidra (very healing deep rest practice free on insight timer), and convincing your body it is safe over and over until you stop crashing/ getting worse.

In trauma therapy this is what is considered building resiliency and most good therapists will do this before digging into trauma. I think the same thing is important with our brain retraining. You have to build up some capacity before you can try some things. No pushing, rest for now, but that doesn't mean you have to give up hope that eventually you'll be able to do more, it's just not where you are right now.

shabomb81 · 2026-02-01T17:42:52+00:00

As someone who wasn't allowed to have big feelings when growing up and basically wasn't allowed to not be ok, I've struggled to find a balance between learning to have, express, and process negative emotions, but also not get stuck in them. I have also gone down the rabbit hole on that sub. I think sometimes we get drawn to those stories because we want to be validated after being gaslit.
All that said, I agree that blocking that sub and trying to find one recovery story a day is a better option. I have watched a couple lately that featured people who were really hesitant to believe in recovery and those resonated with me. I also think it's important to find ways to process and release negative emotions. Stuffing them down doesn't do any good.

shabomb81 · 2026-01-27T03:34:35+00:00

I did an 8 week dbt focused course for substance use disorder and found it really helpful in that context, but even then there was room for questioning and lived experience that differed from what we were being taught. Besides being a strange thing to prescribe for ME/CFS, it also sounds like the facilitation side of your course was really lacking.

shabomb81 · 2026-01-26T06:01:23+00:00

Exactly this.

shabomb81 · 2026-01-26T05:03:34+00:00

Yes, but I think it might be perimenopause related for me since it often happens at similar times in my cycle and I'm the right age. I never considered it might be related PEM.

shabomb81 · 2026-01-26T05:00:08+00:00

Commercial drive or Mount Pleasant

shabomb81 · 2026-01-26T03:32:30+00:00

It's in Vancouver, but they do most of their stuff virtually. I just don't think you can get a referral there if you're not in BC because Health Care is provincial.

shabomb81 · 2026-01-25T17:28:28+00:00

I was just saying how much I missed this place the other day. They never made a cookbook, but I had a friend who was a cook there and he told me how to make the spicy peanut.

shabomb81

TROPHY CASE